Tag Archives: violence

  Wouldn't A Strongly Worded Letter Have Been Enough?

All Muslims Everywhere Murder French Satirists; Lone Wolf Acting Alone ‘Bombs’ NAACP, Alone

the very definition of 'milling around'
We’ve got all sorts of international and domestic terrorism for you this morning; please make use of kitten photos as needed. In Paris Tuesday, 12 people were shot to death at a satirical newspaper that had frequently run cartoons making fun of Islam: Read more on All Muslims Everywhere Murder French Satirists; Lone Wolf Acting Alone ‘Bombs’ NAACP, Alone…
 

Missouri KKK Just Thrilled To Bits About Coming Ferguson Race War

DC stands with Ferguson
A Missouri-based affiliate of the Ku Klux Klan is circulating a clumsily designed flier vowing to “use lethal force as provided under Missouri Law to defend ourselves” from “terrorists masquerading as ‘peaceful protestors,'” reports Vice News. Here’s the “document”: Read more on Missouri KKK Just Thrilled To Bits About Coming Ferguson Race War…
  As Ye Have Done It Unto One Of The Least Of These

Congratulations, Deport-The-Kids Patriots! Kids Returned To Honduras, Killed.

Sorry about that. America's full, you see.
Some inspiring news for the deport-everyone-immediately crowd today: According to a Los Angeles Times report, “at least five, and as many as 10, of the 42 children” who have been killed in criminal violence in Honduras since February had been deported from the United States, according to the manager of a city morgue in San Pedro Sula. Not that anyone could have seen that coming, except for the human rights workers who warned that it was likely to happen. Read more on Congratulations, Deport-The-Kids Patriots! Kids Returned To Honduras, Killed….
  a history of violence

At The Times, A Violent Wall-Punching Temper Causes Laughter And Joy

We all know Jill Abramson, the former executive editor of the New York Times, is a brusque, mercurial, pushy, difficult woman. And a liar. And sneaky. And a woman. And she had to go. She’d made her managing editor, Dean Baquet, real mad, see, by maybe or maybe not asking his permission to hire someone, which is a thing a lady boss is supposed to do when she is a lady. And, according to Arthur Sulzberger, Jr., the publisher of the Times, there were “patterns in the newsroom.” Pushy patterns. Mercurial patterns. Crazy bitchy broad patterns. And once Baquet made the “severity of his feelings” known, Sulzberger had no choice but to kick Abramson to the curb and give her job to Baquet. After all, Baquet is “likable and funny” and everyone “basically adores him” and “charming” and “funny” and “a class act” and “a calming personality” and he has a “friendly smile and deeply sympathetic soul.” Goddamn, the guy’s basically a saint. Unlike, you know, her. Oh, but then there is this: Yet Baquet acknowledges he too can become intense amid argument. I asked Baquet about maps that reporters said had been tacked up at the Times’ Washington offices to cover several holes he had punched in walls down there. He laughed and said, “it’s true. I should have a lawyer with me for this part, shouldn’t I? “I have a temper,” Baquet said, “In each case I was mad at somebody above me in rank. That’s not an excuse, but it’s a fact.” Gosh. That sure does sound charming and friendly and not AT ALL like the new executive editor maybe has some anger management issues that maybe are not appropriate for the newsroom or the workplace or, like, anywhere. He might have a deeply sympathetic soul, but filling a hole with his tiny fists of rage when he feels “intense” seems sort of … oh, one might say mercurial. Brusque. Dickish. Totally unacceptably violent. But hey, like Baquet says, “Leaders have to make tough decisions.” Guess sometimes walls just need to be punched. Read more on At The Times, A Violent Wall-Punching Temper Causes Laughter And Joy…
  Onward Christian Soldier

Hero Minister Wants Christians To Get Spiritually ‘Violent,’ Because It’s Working So Well In Nigeria

Remember John Hagee, John McCain’s favorite Bible-humping lunatic pastor who, like any good Christian, believes the Catholic Church is the “great whore” and Hitler was God’s personal hunter, sent to Earth to kill all the Jews except for maybe five, who were then chased to Israel so they could bring about the Christpocalypse? Of course you do! As if all of that weren’t bad enough, worst of all, he is pals with Joe Lieberman. Anyhoo, John begat a son named Matthew, and Matthew-Son-of-John seems to take after his dad in that he is a) nuts, b) very confused about Jesus, and c) super fucking nuts. On yesterday’s “Hagee Hotline,” Matthew Hagee called on conservative Christians to become more “spiritually violent” in fighting against things like gay marriage and abortion because secularists who support such things have “become violent with people of faith.” Read more on Hero Minister Wants Christians To Get Spiritually ‘Violent,’ Because It’s Working So Well In Nigeria…
  hell is other countries

Conscience Demands We Address Events In Venezuela And Ukraine, Then Back To Zany American Bigots

It feels wrong to just go about our usual business of making dick jokes about politics without acknowledging that the governments of Venezuela and Ukraine are murdering peaceful protesters by the dozens. We won’t pretend to have any special insight into either conflict. Maybe an appropriate thing to do is to be self-absorbed Americans and be thankful for real civilian control of the military, low levels of official corruption, relatively free and fair elections, and respect for institutions, all of which have helped prevent such tragedies from unfolding here since the early 1970s, and we can also try and be hopeful that the puzzle of sustained domestic tranquility is always solvable in the long run. And it looks like we’ve got a couple hundred words left before we’ve earned our six pack, so let’s try and anticipate every possible stupid pundit’s take on Venezuela and Ukraine, assuming any of them ever notice.  Read more on Conscience Demands We Address Events In Venezuela And Ukraine, Then Back To Zany American Bigots…
  As If Ruining Jazz Wasn't Enough

White Man Charged With Hate Crime For ‘Knockout Game’-Style Attack, Wingnuts Furious

The ‘knockout game’ is over. OK, it was probably never even a real thing in the sense that it was hard to see how it was any different from getting “snuck” by “some idiot” which has been going on “since forever.” Never mind that. Pretend it was real, and that it was a big deal. Now be relieved, because it’s not cool anymore. White people are doing it now. The knockout game is now pretty much the Macarena. Meet Conrad Allen Barrett, the Kenny G of the knockout game. He allegedly attacked a 79-year-old black man in Texas: Read more on White Man Charged With Hate Crime For ‘Knockout Game’-Style Attack, Wingnuts Furious…
  Blame It On My RPG Baby

Teen Korner For Teenz: The Cake Is A Lie Edition

In the grimdark grimdark of the grimdark NRA-holes, there is only blame. Specifically, the shift of blame from their heavily fondled lead sprinklers to my precious, precious videogames. Why, you ask? Is it because my fantasy killing of people isn’t real enough for them? No, they just need a convenient scapegoat that those elderly members of society, whose grandchildren play all those faith-breaking satan toys, will eat up like the nutritious exploding foamy pig-doots that it is. Read more on Teen Korner For Teenz: The Cake Is A Lie Edition…
  Down With the Brown

Objective News Anchor Wishes Obama Would Tell His Elitist Hollywood Scum Friends to End Gun Violence Forever

Campbell Brown is a former CNN anchor and Objective Journalist who is extremely concerned that President Obama isn’t doing enough to combat gun violence. So she took to the always-objective Wall Street Journal editorial page to give the president some objective advice: The president’s campaign against gun violence has produced a stale debate marked by lots of speeches with little achieved. A more creative chief executive would have used this moment to widen the discussion by drawing attention to the increasingly graphic violence so pervasive in television shows, movies and videogames. Mr. Obama is particularly well positioned to challenge Hollywood because of his special relationship with the media world’s elites. Stale debate! Little achieved! Yes, President Obama has failed to pass major legislation through a hopelessly deadlocked Congress in three months, because that’s an easy thing to do. Read more on Objective News Anchor Wishes Obama Would Tell His Elitist Hollywood Scum Friends to End Gun Violence Forever…
  nazi best idea dude

Greek Neo-Nazi Politician Suing Woman For Making Him Punch Her on Live Television

A male Greek neo-Nazi politician slapped a female Greek communist politician on live television last week. We brought you the scintillating footage, which features brilliant insults like “you old commie” because Greece is so poor now that their politicians have to recycle insults they got on loan from America 70 years ago. It was disturbing footage, a sad window into Greek political discontent. We were saddened. While it’s not clear what criminal action is being taken, there is civil litigation moving forward in the case. Hold on a minute, people who assume this will be a rational development: In a brilliant attempt to save face and repair his reputation, the slapper, Ilias Kasidiaris, is suing his victims. Amazing! What spectacular crisis management skills he’s got. Somebody get Jerry Sandusky on the phone; he’s been doing this all wrong! Read more on Greek Neo-Nazi Politician Suing Woman For Making Him Punch Her on Live Television…
  cpacalypse

Ocupados To Terrorize CPAC To Its Bitter Core

The DC-area Occupy people, having been kicked out of their park this weekend, have a fun new thing in the works: Occupying CPAC. It’s just around the corner, so why not? According to the Occupiers’ website, they will “march to the Marriott” to “create as much non-violent resistance as possible, and make this a conference the attendees will never forget.” So they want pictures with Sarah Palin, got it. But what if this non-violent resistance descends into a bit of the ol’ Ultraviolence? That’s what’s going to happen, according to a hysterical pants-wetting Heritage Foundation blog post. Read more on Ocupados To Terrorize CPAC To Its Bitter Core…
  occupations sweeping the nation

Scenes From a Civil War: Cops Vs. Crying Mothers

Hello, retired Police Captain Ray Lewis! Today has been interesting. Sorry we haven’t had more to offer. The real story is happening as a live event, created by real people, and the total absence of political leaders is one way to both judge its authenticity and dismiss any real need for “news media” — even when that “news media” is just some ongoing joke/word-terrorism project, like Wonkette. Anyway, here are some bits from what’s going on, tonight, in America. Read more on Scenes From a Civil War: Cops Vs. Crying Mothers…
  occupy poverty

Random Gang Shooting Near Occupy Oakland Causes News Coverage of Random Gang Shooting In Oakland

Did you hear some dude got capped in downtown Oakland the other day, and died? This happens a lot in the poor parts of Oakland, and elsewhere in the United States. But, thanks to the unrelated Occupy protest/camp currently occupying the grim downtown of Oak-Town, this gun killing got coverage all over the country. The Authorities are even using it as an excuse to shut down #Occupy Oakland! You know, because there is apparently gang violence in this nation of 50 million poor people and Zero Hope and a billion guns. Read more on Random Gang Shooting Near Occupy Oakland Causes News Coverage of Random Gang Shooting In Oakland…
  america thanks you for your service

Here’s the Insane Video of Marine Vet Scott Olsen Shot At #OccupyOakland

Jesus H. Christ. First it’s a lot of BANG BANG BANG and screaming as tear gas fills the air followed by GRAPHIC (there, you’re warned if you’re at work) footage of former Marine Scott Olsen from Veterans for Peace being carried away by fellow protesters with blood covering his head after being hit in the face by some type of police projectile. The Contra Costa Times mentions “unconfirmed reports that flash-bang grenades and wood dowels were launched at protesters,” items that cops assume would, what… tickle the protesters if fired directly at their heads? No, the asshole cops know exactly what they are doing, and the Guardian is now reporting that Olsen is currently in critical condition with a skull fracture. We’re glad you survived Iraq, Scott, and it’s unbelievably sad that we now have to hope you survive the Oakland Police Department. Read more on Here’s the Insane Video of Marine Vet Scott Olsen Shot At #OccupyOakland…
  lesser demons

Riot Cops Battle Protesters Trying To Strangle Dick Cheney

It’s pretty hot for September! Up in Vancouver, a kick-ass bunch of Canadian protesters rushed the doors of some private industrialists club/Satanic Secret Society and had a battle with the riot cops. A 51-year-old protester reportedly strangled a cop, in an apparent effort to get through the doors and strangle Dick Cheney — Cheney was inside on a “book tour,” wearing a black hood and humping on the carcass of a bloodied lamb. Read more on Riot Cops Battle Protesters Trying To Strangle Dick Cheney…
  stupid

Oh, Apparently There Is A Video Game About Murdering Tea Party Zombies

Your Wonkette is not tremendously interested in violent shoot-em-up video games as a rule, because we are always “reading the Internet” — whatever that means — something we can accurately say spews a lot more horror and abortion at unsuspecting brain cells than the bloodiest video games on the market. So we are a little “meh” about this half-baked “Tea Party Zombies Must Die” ‘puter game some bored programmer posted online to allow bored murder-inclined leftists to virtually mow down undead Tea Party hobbits as what, a tired joke, we suppose? Read more on Oh, Apparently There Is A Video Game About Murdering Tea Party Zombies…
  will he run?

Chris Christie Suggests Beating 76-Year-Old Lady Legislator With Bat

Fat prick Chris Christie loves “mob humor,” which is why he suggested voters “take the bat” to 76-year-old New Jersey state Sen. Loretta Weinberg. Like so many previous N.J. governors, Christie apparently thinks the office is actually a supporting role on teevee’s The Sopranos, which actually ended its run several years ago. And that’s why his typical response to a political scandal — one of “fiscally conservative” Christie’s cronies is drawing both a state-funded pension and a government salary — was to encourage people to clobber a Democratic state senator with a baseball bat. Read more on Chris Christie Suggests Beating 76-Year-Old Lady Legislator With Bat…
  as seen on teevee

In Arizona, Glocks Selling Like Death Hotcakes Right Now

After seeing Rep. Gabirelle Giffords and others gunned down in Tucson on Saturday, the grieving people of Arizona came together to express a single, heartfelt sentiment: “We have to get ourselves one of those awesome gunz!” Yes, the gun shops in Arizona simply can’t keep Glocks like the one allegedly used by Jared Loughner on their shelves, as Arizona was impressed by just how good that gun was at shooting people. And these gun people have to buy one of these Glocks RIGHT NOW. They’re afraid they may be made illegal and they won’t be able to get their hands on a great murder-kitsch conversation piece, which they can put above their kids’ toys on the mantel and show off to the other non-foreclosed family in the subdivision when they come by to visit. Read more on In Arizona, Glocks Selling Like Death Hotcakes Right Now…
  these aren't the murder droids you're looking for

Glenn Beck Worried Other Left-Wing Nuts Like Loughner May Kill Palin

Dangerous left-wing activists such as Jared Laughner are trying to murder all of our Republican officials, such as Gabrielle Giffords and Sarah Palin, according to Glenn Beck. You can find his call against violence on his website, conveniently located next to the publicity photo of him brandishing a handgun of his own. Read more on Glenn Beck Worried Other Left-Wing Nuts Like Loughner May Kill Palin…
  give us all our pistols

Man Sees Bristol Palin Dancing On TeeVee, Shoots TeeVee, Gets In Standoff With Police

According to the complaint, Cowan and his wife were watching “Dancing with the Stars” when Cowan jumped up and swore as Bristol Palin appeared, saying something about “the (expletive) politics.” Cowan was upset that a political figure’s daughter was on the show when he didn’t think she was a good dancer, the complaint states. Read more on Man Sees Bristol Palin Dancing On TeeVee, Shoots TeeVee, Gets In Standoff With Police…
  dept. of go fuck yourself

RedState Says Bigotry Is an American Tradition, But Muslims Aren’t Allowed To Call This Mosque Stuff Bigotry

“A Free Society And The Muslim Conundrum: accept us or we will kill you”: Hmm, that sounds like the title of a detached, logic-based RedState post about the reality of all this mosque stuff that finally, hopefully seems to be ending. And look, it is! It manages to justify hatred of Muslims with other things, such as the fact that some of them go to good universities that treat them with respect, or that Muslims are “complaining” despite the fact that many religious groups have faced bigotry in American history. But don’t worry, mostly Muslims still just want to kill us Christian white people. Read more on RedState Says Bigotry Is an American Tradition, But Muslims Aren’t Allowed To Call This Mosque Stuff Bigotry…