It feels wrong to just go about our usual business of making dick jokes about politics without acknowledging that the governments of Venezuela and Ukraine are murdering peaceful protesters by the dozens. We won’t pretend to have any special insight into either conflict. Maybe an appropriate thing to do is to be self-absorbed Americans and be thankful for […]

The ‘knockout game’ is over. OK, it was probably never even a real thing in the sense that it was hard to see how it was any different from getting “snuck” by “some idiot” which has been going on “since forever.” Never mind that. Pretend it was real, and that it was a big deal. […]

In the grimdark grimdark of the grimdark NRA-holes, there is only blame. Specifically, the shift of blame from their heavily fondled lead sprinklers to my precious, precious videogames. Why, you ask? Is it because my fantasy killing of people isn’t real enough for them? No, they just need a convenient scapegoat that those elderly members […]

Campbell Brown is a former CNN anchor and Objective Journalist who is extremely concerned that President Obama isn’t doing enough to combat gun violence. So she took to the always-objective Wall Street Journal editorial page to give the president some objective advice: The president’s campaign against gun violence has produced a stale debate marked by […]

A male Greek neo-Nazi politician slapped a female Greek communist politician on live television last week. We brought you the scintillating footage, which features brilliant insults like “you old commie” because Greece is so poor now that their politicians have to recycle insults they got on loan from America 70 years ago. It was disturbing […]

The DC-area Occupy people, having been kicked out of their park this weekend, have a fun new thing in the works: Occupying CPAC. It’s just around the corner, so why not? According to the Occupiers’ website, they will “march to the Marriott” to “create as much non-violent resistance as possible, and make this a conference […]

Hello, retired Police Captain Ray Lewis! Today has been interesting. Sorry we haven’t had more to offer. The real story is happening as a live event, created by real people, and the total absence of political leaders is one way to both judge its authenticity and dismiss any real need for “news media” — even […]

Did you hear some dude got capped in downtown Oakland the other day, and died? This happens a lot in the poor parts of Oakland, and elsewhere in the United States. But, thanks to the unrelated Occupy protest/camp currently occupying the grim downtown of Oak-Town, this gun killing got coverage all over the country. The […]

Jesus H. Christ. First it’s a lot of BANG BANG BANG and screaming as tear gas fills the air followed by GRAPHIC (there, you’re warned if you’re at work) footage of former Marine Scott Olsen from Veterans for Peace being carried away by fellow protesters with blood covering his head after being hit in the […]

It’s pretty hot for September! Up in Vancouver, a kick-ass bunch of Canadian protesters rushed the doors of some private industrialists club/Satanic Secret Society and had a battle with the riot cops. A 51-year-old protester reportedly strangled a cop, in an apparent effort to get through the doors and strangle Dick Cheney — Cheney was […]

Your Wonkette is not tremendously interested in violent shoot-em-up video games as a rule, because we are always “reading the Internet” — whatever that means — something we can accurately say spews a lot more horror and abortion at unsuspecting brain cells than the bloodiest video games on the market. So we are a little […]

Fat prick Chris Christie loves “mob humor,” which is why he suggested voters “take the bat” to 76-year-old New Jersey state Sen. Loretta Weinberg. Like so many previous N.J. governors, Christie apparently thinks the office is actually a supporting role on teevee’s The Sopranos, which actually ended its run several years ago. And that’s why […]

After seeing Rep. Gabirelle Giffords and others gunned down in Tucson on Saturday, the grieving people of Arizona came together to express a single, heartfelt sentiment: “We have to get ourselves one of those awesome gunz!” Yes, the gun shops in Arizona simply can’t keep Glocks like the one allegedly used by Jared Loughner on […]

Dangerous left-wing activists such as Jared Laughner are trying to murder all of our Republican officials, such as Gabrielle Giffords and Sarah Palin, according to Glenn Beck. You can find his call against violence on his website, conveniently located next to the publicity photo of him brandishing a handgun of his own.

According to the complaint, Cowan and his wife were watching “Dancing with the Stars” when Cowan jumped up and swore as Bristol Palin appeared, saying something about “the (expletive) politics.” Cowan was upset that a political figure’s daughter was on the show when he didn’t think she was a good dancer, the complaint states. According […]