This saucy minx is Becky Miller, the mayor of Carrollton, Texas, a Dallas suburb with 116,000 wonderful inhabitants. According to herself, she has dated and sung with all sorts of popular musicians from the 1970s, and her brother once died in Vietnam. But perhaps her crowning achievement is that she made all of this stuff up. MORE »

No matter who the Democrats nominate for the Presidency this fall, the candidate’s sure to be a slam dunk — because as much as they hate women and black people, most American citizens would rather chew off their own arms than elect a person over the age of 70. Thus John McCain will surrender to noble Defeat in November, the victim of a cruel public that hates him for his physical frailty and weak mind. MORE »

Once upon a time there was a war in a faraway magical place called Vietnam. This was before the Internet! (Well, the public internet at least. DoD geeks started building their internet in 1969. Manhunt was probably a lot hotter then!) And all the hippies made angry silkscreen posters against the war, and some of them were kind of awesome. You see, before the Internet, people had to print and distribute things as a means of communication. And there was a thing called “graphic design.” Smoke a bowl with Choire, after the jump.

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In a Sunday interview with the West Virginia’s Charleston Gazette newspaper, Senator Jay Rockefeller reinforced his support for Barry Obama. Mostly, however, he made fun of John McCain’s war experience with some heavy words about bombs. McCain is dehumanized and cannot understand the human condition, Rockefeller says, and that is why he enjoyed bombing the Vietnamese from the air so much. MORE »

About 40 years ago, a very young and super hot Jane Fonda protested the American war against Vietnam by visiting Hanoi and posing for pictures with the North Vietnamese military. (She also visited American prisoners of war imprisoned in Hanoi, but nobody really talks about that because it wasn’t treason.) Guess who else was in Hanoi at the time but refused to meet with Fonda’s anti-war group? Navy pilot John McCain, who was killing North Vietnamese villagers with bombs in 1967 when he was shot down by a missile. Now guess how many billion dollars Hillary must’ve paid Jane Fonda to endorse Barack Obama? MORE »

Ha ha, it turns out that Hillary Clinton even lies with her lying about her harrowing overseas adventures. First she says she once ran screaming through the streets of Tuzla smeared with the blood of Bosnian snipers as she singlehandedly brought peace to Northern Ireland; then she says she was the first president’s wife to visit a war zone since Eleanor Roosevelt. Wrong again, Pantsuit! That honor goes to Pat Nixon, who visited Vietnam with Sinbad way back in 1969. MORE »

Everybody knows that Republican Presidential candidate John McCain fought in the Vietnam War and was held in a POW camp until he gained a proper appreciation for the works of Ernest Hemingway. However, shocking new revelations suggest that McCain may have been an arrogant prick to the guy who rescued him after his jet was shot down and delivered him to captors for five years of torture. MORE »

John McCain is pushing hard these days to become the President of Torture. In a new web video, McCain and his Navy buddies talk for four minutes about how he was tortured. And his lovely mother Roberta says that when she learned John was a P.O.W., it was the best news she’d ever heard. After four minutes of TORTURE TORTURE BLOOD PULP TORTURE, the idea is clear: this never happened to Barack Obama at all. Check it out below, you hateful liberal Democrats. MORE »

George W. Bush held a video conference with some soldiers in Afghanistan yesterday, and the ol’ fighter got jealous of all the Freedom they get to create! In George’s youth, you see, he got to have all sorts of fun fightin’ tigers in the front lines of Vietnam, where he created Freedom for the first time. And yesterday, he told these troops in Afghanistan how “envious” he was of their “romantic,” uh, permanent deployment to the asshole of the world! MORE »

Did you know McCain lived for a few weeks or months in Florida, too? That’s what he just said. He “learned” to fly in Pensacola, but not so good. Let’s let John shine now, as he was, after all, TORTURED during his time living in Florida. (Really. He was based in Florida when he got shot down in Vietnam.) There’s Charlie Crist standing right behind John, and Charlie just looks jubilant! Let’s see if Ol’ Walnuts will say anything of interest …. MORE »

Incredible as it seems, the Bush Administration may have been dishonest every day, forever, about Iraq. That’s the shocking conclusion of some study funded by “limousine liberal” George Soros. According to the report, Bush and Cheney and the rest of the administration spent all their time between 9/11 and the invasion of Iraq successfully convincing our nation’s dumber people — Congress, reporters, etc. — that Saddam Hussein was about to launch even more jetliners full of anthrax at American buildings. MORE »