Tag Archives: vietnam

  Ooh he mad!

Dumb Rick Perry To Dumb Donald Trump: MEEEEEE-OW! SCRATCH! HISS!

We're guessing Perry looked a bit like this delivering his remarks.
Guess former Texas governor and current GOP clown car rumble seat occupant Rick Perry doesn’t like being called the second biggest stupid in the world, just behind Sen. Lindsey Graham. In a speech delivered Wednesday to some cohort of idiots assembled by his super PAC, Perry thought he’d set the record straight on who is the real idiot, and also who is destroying the Republican Party, and also who is literal ass cancer embodied in human Republican form. Surprise, it is Donald Trump! Read more on Dumb Rick Perry To Dumb Donald Trump: MEEEEEE-OW! SCRATCH! HISS!…
  Basically like Jesus

Donald Trump YOOOOGE Fan Of God And Those Little Jesus Crackers

Donald Trump, good Christian
We have been so busy LOLing and WTFing over Donald Trump’s attack on John McCain for being a fake war hero, with his weak-assed POWing, because Trump “like[s] people that weren’t captured,” that we almost forgot to tell you some of the other hilarity of Trump’s weekend. Almost. Read more on Donald Trump YOOOOGE Fan Of God And Those Little Jesus Crackers…
  Yes we are entertained

John McCain Graciously Refuses To Tell Donald Trump To F*ck Himself In The Ear

Not a good day to be John McCain
Did you hear the one about how Donald Trump thinks John McCain is a L-O-S-E-R for getting captured and held as a prisoner of war that one time, in the Nam, for five and a half years? Of course you did, because we, along with the rest of the entire US of A, can’t stop talking about it. Read more on John McCain Graciously Refuses To Tell Donald Trump To F*ck Himself In The Ear…
  Best Donald Trump ever

Donald Trump Defeats Soviet Union, Builds Vietnam Memorial With His Bare Hands

This time he means it!
Donald “I’m Donald Trump” Trump is basically the most amazing man who has ever lived, which you should already know by now, and if you don’t you are an idiot because he tells us every day how amazing he is, why don’t you listen to him, America? Listen to Donald Trump, he knows everything! His “I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it!” Also, he is one of the sexiest men on the planet. (“So true!” Trump said, so you know it is.) And he didn’t simply coin the phrase “America,” he also built some of its greatest monuments, with his very own smart sexy TEN BILLIONAIRE hands, including the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in New York, because he’s that kind of guy: Read more on Donald Trump Defeats Soviet Union, Builds Vietnam Memorial With His Bare Hands…
  this is why we can't have nice things

Musicians Dishonor Troops, Make The Baby Jesus Bald Eagle Cry

Damn dirty longhairs
Did everyone catch the terrible Concert for Valor to honor our military veterans last night? We say it was terrible because some of the musicians took it upon themselves to dishonor the troops, the flag, the bald eagle, Mom, apple pie, baseball and Michael Bay movies. What was the offense committed by known communists Bruce Springsteen, Dave Grohl and Zac Brown? They covered Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Fortunate Son,” a known “anti-war anthem.” Outrage! A slap in the face! Read more on Musicians Dishonor Troops, Make The Baby Jesus Bald Eagle Cry…
  clipbait

John Oliver: Congratulations, You Get To Come To America. Or Not. (Video)

Welcome to America; here's your bureaucratic nightmare
Update/followup: See end of post for a chance to do some good, or at least try to. After a week off, John Oliver is back in crusading investigative comedy mode again, as Last Week Tonight brings us this story on the paperwork nightmare faced by Iraqis and Afghans who worked with U.S. forces as translators. As we wind down our wars, thousands of people who bravely came forward to help our military with accurate translations — because as Oliver points out, you really need to know whether that thing down the road is an IED or an IKEA — are being left behind. Despite a law passed by Congress to expedite their entry to the U.S., allowing for for 1500 special visas a year, in 2011, the State Department actually processed 3. That’s three, not a typo missing some zeroes. Read more on John Oliver: Congratulations, You Get To Come To America. Or Not. (Video)…
  lies damned lies and a beka book

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Leave Reality To Other People

Better fire up your modems and log into your AOL account (or Prodigy for you hipsters). Time for another look at the ruinous near-decade of prosperity under Bill Clinton, as refracted through the Truthiness Lens of rightwing Christian textbooks. This week, foreign affairs! (And next week, we’ll get to the other kind.) Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Leave Reality To Other People…
  Part 21: The Dumbino Theory

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Loves The Smell Of Napalm In the Morning

Well, here we are, humping the boonies of the Culture Wars, and one of the Things We Carry is our 10th-grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. We know we promised we’d get to Ronald Reagan singlehandedly knocking over the Berlin Wall this week, but there’s just so much Cold War to cover that we’ll just have to wait another week while we get through some of the delightful proxy wars of the late 20th Century. And of course, let’s not forget to blame The Liberal Media for the sixties! Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That Loves The Smell Of Napalm In the Morning…
  jill kelley for dod obvs

Senate Republicans To Swift Boat John Kerry All Over Again, For Larfs

So Hillary Clinton is going to leave the State Department some day, and on that day the Great Impostor is going to need to find someone to replace her. Who else has the kind of 24-hour energy, common sense, and danciness to replace her? Maybe Ellen? No, not Ellen, Ellen can’t get through the Senate, because she loves muff. But everybody has been talking about former total loser John Kerry for State, ever since he gave that DNC speech that was hilarious and did not suck, but now they are saying no, not State because that is where Susan Rice will lose her confirmation vote instead, but rather the Department of Defense instead, we guess? Because the Washington Post said so, and the Washington Post is the White House’s “draft email folder” for sending Congress sexts. Read more on Senate Republicans To Swift Boat John Kerry All Over Again, For Larfs…
  the horror

CNN Tells Of Harrowing Dangers Mitt Romney Faced In 1968 France (While Avoiding The Vietnam War)

Perhaps you thought Mitt Romney’s time in France, in 1968, while raking in Dick Cheney-level numbers of military deferments from serving in Vietnam, was all sunshine and brie. Well CNN’s “Romney Revealed” has another think coming at you! “In 1968, France was a dangerous place to be for a 21-year-old American, but Mitt Romney was right in the middle of it,” says Gloria Borger. You guys, there were “protests, and there were marches”! There weren’t napalmings or burning villages or fraggings or snipers, but there were definitely marches! Read more on CNN Tells Of Harrowing Dangers Mitt Romney Faced In 1968 France (While Avoiding The Vietnam War)…
  another sequel you didn't want to see

The Wonkette Geopoliticker: U.S. Plotting Nostalgic Military Return To Vietnam

When Obama said our military would leave the Middle East and focus on the Pacific Region, he probably wasn’t kidding. Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta was in Vietnam the other day laying the groundwork for what will be America’s most important harbor (a fancy deep-water harbor, at that!) when it comes to circling our number one target, China. Cam Ranh Bay sits at a chokepoint for maritime traffic into the South China Sea, and Vietnam is just one domino to the south of the red foe. Setting up a permanent base there would be extremely annoying to China. Read more on The Wonkette Geopoliticker: U.S. Plotting Nostalgic Military Return To Vietnam…
  it's morning in america

Rejected Pun Headlines: ‘Sorry Charlie,’ ‘Rangel Wrangles Ethics Charges,’ Etc.

Charlie Rangel is going on trial! Did you even know that Congress could put people on trial, for ethics violations? Well, they can, but they don’t usually, because most Congressfolk generally just say “Yeah, you caught me” and slink away in shame when the Ethics Committee points out their many moral failings. Not Charlie Rangel, though! He’s positive giddy at the prospect: “At long last, sunshine has pierced through this cloud that has been over my head for more than two years.” The last guy who had a trial like this in the house was Jim Traficant, and you remember how awesome that was. Read more on Rejected Pun Headlines: ‘Sorry Charlie,’ ‘Rangel Wrangles Ethics Charges,’ Etc…. Read more on Rejected Pun Headlines: ‘Sorry Charlie,’ ‘Rangel Wrangles Ethics Charges,’ Etc….
  vetting!

Connecticut Dem Frontrunner Likes To Tell Horrible Lies About Vietnam Service

Everyone was so relieved when Chris Dodd announced he wouldn’t seek re-election, because then this attorney general guy Richard “Dick” Blumenthal could run and actually win, easily. He would be the next Barack Obama! And maybe he still will, but this New York Times article is kind of terribly and completely devastating. Seems Dick spent the last decade telling voters — especially veterans groups — about his service in Vietnam. He didn’t tell them, though, that by “service in Vietnam” he meant “working his ass off and using his rich father’s connections to get five deferments and then, when he had no choice, using his father’s connections to get him in a cozy D.C. rich-child’s reserve unit, which did nothing.” Read more on Connecticut Dem Frontrunner Likes To Tell Horrible Lies About Vietnam Service…