videos
Man Writes Spectacularly Bad Song, ‘Stand With Governor Walker’
Glen Shulfer is an authentic, honest-to-god supporter of Wisconsin Governorish Scott Walker, but he is a musician first, and by first we mean, Oh my word, this guy has written songs: “Dog Bone Blues,” “You Never Do What I Say” and “Hidden Princess” are the titles of just three of Shulfer’s too, too many compositions, [...]
Least Cool Person In America, Herman Cain, Decides Smoking ‘Is Not Cool’
Herman Cain is a pumpkin-headed creepy narcissist businessman who likes to repeat single-digit numbers and say stupid things. For reasons he cannot begin to explain, this Washington lobbyist and shit-food merchant allowed the release of a “web commercial” that shows a dirty old man saying weird things about Herman Cain and then melodramatically smoking a [...]
You’d Better Take Part In the National Day of Prayer, Or God Will Explode DC
TIM PAWLENTY 2012! Sorry, NATIONAL DAY OF PRAYER!
Here Are a Bunch of People Yelling At Muslim Kids Going To a Charity Event
Last month, a Muslim group was hosting an event to raise money for women’s shelters and fighting homelessness in Orange County. Protestors showed up to the event because they hate battered women and homeless people because they hate Muslims because two men involved with the event are controversial; one was once listed as a co-conspirator [...]
North Korea Acquires Video-Transition Weapons
“Comrade, we do not care for this individual. He is threatening the breathtaking glory of our motherland. How shall we defeat him?” “Have we finished our work on the top-secret spinning photo technology?” “Yes, the Libyans supplied the resources.” “Then use it.” “But sir, the horror of—” “USE IT.” It would appear from North Korea’s [...]
Last Speech of Dick Cheney’s Life Greeted By Paultard Boos
Oh, other people shouted stuff at Dick Cheney yesterday at CPAC. Don’t think you’re safe from a little underground bunker torture, Paultards. He’s still alive, you know.
‘Tea Party News Brief’: The New News Network For the Insane
Yeah, that’s exactly what it looks like. Tea Party News Brief, starring Ava. Because Fox News seemed suspiciously lucid and organized.
BREAKING: POLITICO FINDS OUT ABOUT BEN QUAYLE’S MUSCLES
Guess what? Politico got to talk to Ben Quayle! Ooh, what is he like? Do you think he’ll like Politico? Will he want to be friends with them and stuff? He’s so cool because he’s the only member of Congress who hasn’t had at least one bout with prostate cancer in his life so far. [...]
Man With Pencil: Christians Should Abandon Democracy, Support Dictator
Look, sooner or later, the evangelical Christians were going to lose out on this democracy thing. There’s just not enough of them for their views to supersede the desired liberties of the majority. If they want to hold on to power, they’re going to have to return to their roots by supporting a new dictatorship. [...]
Tim Pawlenty Re-Engineering Humanity, With Book Nobody Read
What do you do when you’re trying to run for president but you’re bland and nobody will buy your book? Release a “trailer” video for it to scare old people into thinking you’re going to fly huge screaming jets personally into their insecurities. Broaden it to include all of humanity, even though you’re a powerless [...]
Oh No! Sarah Palin Removed Her Jew Blood Video! (UPDATE: It’s Back Up)
Just moments after the Anti-Defamation League released a statement about her “blood libel” comment, it looks like Sarah Palin has removed from these fine internets her inaugural address on being the person who loves and cares the most about the people who were shot in Arizona. What went wrong? Isn’t this the kind of attention [...]
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