Apologies in advance for those who still enjoy the Hippitty Hop and the Rap, because after watching this excruciating video, you too will finally agree that this genre of pop music probably went on for about 15 years longer than necessary …. the direct line from Vanilla Ice to this clumsy clod is actually visible in many shots. MORE »

Before you dismiss this video as another “cute red-state gal is going to cum again remembering how the beautiful Sarah Palin touched her,” please just duct-tape yourself to the office chair and watch the WHOLE THING because, good god, PALIN MAN! [YouTube video-documentary by Wonkette commenter PabaBritanica.]

Laugh all you want, but once the remaining people skinny enough to get on an airplane finally escape the doomed land of America, these slobs will actually have the whole place to themselves. Sarah Palin will be their “Mrs. Everyday President” or something and she’ll promise them dinner at Red Lobster once a year, but the rest of the time they have to stay in their tents, in the endless acid rain, for Jesus. [Plunderbund]

Oh hey look it’s the new Thanksgiving video from song-and-dance entertainer Bob Dylan. Can you find the secret list of presidents in this holiday polka? And why does Santa/Dylan leave out our two greatest presidents, Barack Obama and George W. Bush Junior? [YouTube]

Comical naked person Levi Johnston went on the CBS program this morning but really, don’t even watch the clip, we just needed some art to go with the text: “There are some things that I have that are huge. And I haven’t said them because I’m not gonna hurt her that way… You know, I mean, if I really wanted to hurt her, I could, very easily. But there’s — I’m not gonna do it. I’m not going that far.” MORE »

Oh man… Wolf Blitzer said that Jesus was born in Jerusalem during Celebrity Jeopardy last night. What a heathen! He ended Double Jeopardy with -$4,600, with super-easy questions too. And check out at how snooty he looks when Alex has to adjust his score for answering “Julia Childs,” earlier. Ha ha, Wolf Blitzer. Andy Richter seems so nice and smart. [Politico, Gawker (full episode)]

The booming town of Buffalo, New York — which finally won its independence last year after suffering decades under of the private ownership and slave economy of Tim Russert — today is holding its Democratic mayoral primary, a.k.a. “the mayoral election.” And the current mayor, Byron Brown, has discovered (at :50) the single most effective last-minute pitch ever: promise all the old people new flat-screen teevees! (AND DON’T FUCK WITH MEDICARE.) [Political Class Dismissed]

Hey have you heard about the important something-or-other, on teevee, when the one hip-hop fellow Mr. Kanye West said something about the hip-hop lady? SCANDAL! Well Barack Obama hates all this dumb misogynistic consumer-good-worshiping dumb shit. [YouTube]

Here’s some guy, “Ben Konop,” running for something in Toledo, we don’t know what. Maybe high school president? Sure, let’s say “Toledo High School President.” Or mayor, whatever, there cannot be that many things to run for, in Toledo. Anyway, congratulations to the world’s sleepiest heckler, for still weirdly ruining this young man’s press event. [Justin Billau via Matt Welch]

What is this? WHAT IS THIS? Oh, right, it’s this … which is no explanation at all. MORE »

Beloved Utah Republican Orrin Hatch loves to sing, and he loves to compose songs, so he can sing them! The songs are often about the Mormon God, but this time the song is about the Liberal God, Ted Kennedy, who has tragically died of old age and sickness. Enjoy! [YouTube via "Scott R."]