March 9, 2014
Ladies and Gentlemen, here is Victoria Jackson, your next County Commissioner for Williamson County, Tennessee, singing a song that’s straight from the teabagger id, all about Barack Obama and how he is coming to take away everything from you, leaving you nothing but food stamps and teensy-tiny drawings of genitals. It’s a catchy little ditzy […]
Oh, boy, campers, looks like V-Jack is on a tear again! This time, she has discovered that there are a lot of books in public schools that she disagrees with! Just try and decipher this paragraph, which is not from a public school textbook, but from the blog of Victoria Jackson, which is a woman, […]
Welcome to another Derp Roundup, where we take a wire brush to our browser tabs, douse ‘em with brain bleach, and bring you the stories that were too stupid to ignore. We recommend a healthy portion of your favorite reality-dilution elixir before reading on. Our Top Derp goes to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition with […]
Glenn Beck, what is up with you? You pass into seeming irrelevance, and then alla sudden, you are getting an amazeballs amount of attention. Within a few hours of our story yesterday about how you felt kinda-sorta sorry that you divided America with all your divisiveness, we also learned that you said that Bill Nye […]
We asked you to help Wonkette frenemy Victoria Jackson with her inspiring run for alderthingie of her hometown in Tennessee (not Florida, stupid internet), and you came through! Our winning entry is from Gleem McShineys, and it is titled “V-Jack’s Secretz Revealed.” We were taken by the technical proficiency, as well as the metaphorical eloquence […]
Remember back in 2012 when Republicans were all, like, “Heyyyyyyyyyy ladies,” and the ladies were all, like, “Fuck you, assholes,” and did not vote for Republicans because they are Republicans and also assholes? (But we repeat ourselves.) So since it’s a day that ends in “y,” Republicans have a shinier newer plan to make the […]
Now here’s a campaign that Yr Wonkette can absolutely get behind: Comedic Has-Been and Political Expert Victoria Jackson is giving some thought to running for office in whatever horrible Florida Tennessee* wasteland she calls home: Should I run for “Alderman” in my town? I wanna make a difference. I want to help educate my fellow […]
Happy Birthday wishes to beloved Wonkette Content Generator Victoria Jackson! She continues to fight the weird fight, even though she daily risks being forced by the UN to ride a bike or getting edited by Fox News into even greater incoherence. After the jump, some birthday highlights!
Hey, remember how we were yukking it up yesterday about Victoria Jackson’s very strange appearance on Bill O’Reilly’s Television Freakshow, where she talked about how she’s worried that communists are going to kill her and all Christians? WELL! In an article that was briefly posted to then deleted from her website — but not before […]
Victoria Jackson went on Bill O’Reilly’s teevee show Wednesday and pulled off her signature alchemy again — making whoever she’s talking to seem lucid and reasonable by comparison. (OK, it doesn’t always work.) In this latest visit to the mind of Victoria Jackson, we learn that she remembers reading Orwell in high school and that […]
We know you Wonkers are a persnickety lot, and man are you good at hate! But let’s take a moment to give a Malbec-soaked shout-out to some people we hate while remembering their common humanity. Wait! Where’d you go???
Hey onetime comedienne and ukulele molester Victoria Jackson, what are you on about today? I wrote a uke song called “White Men Are Good” and sang it at a comedy club about 4 years ago. I could feel the audience tense up. Why? Why is there a Black History Month but not a White History […]
Hey, lissen up, guys, Michele Bachmann is being THREATENED and we need to PROTECT her! Darn it, no matter how much we disagree with someone, we certainly don’t want them to be threatened… So tell us more about these threats, former weakest member of the 1986-1992 SNL cast Victoria Jackson, on your sloppily formatted webpage: […]
Our old pal Victoria Jackson has been kind of mentally ill on her Facebook page lately, so we did not make fun of her for it because SAD FACE. (We try not to make fun of the actually mentally ill, though we fucked up on that P-E-N-I-S lady, and we’re pretty torn about yesterdays gaysatanbuttbabies.) […]