Wonkette

Crack reporters at ABC News have uncovered the real evidence that Mike Huckabee set up American hero John McCain for a fall: his continued hints at an upcoming “YouTube moment” of reckoning. That and Huckabee’s continued presence in the Republican primary race, despite there being no statistical chance he could clinch the nomination…unless something terrible were to happen to McCain, of course. MORE »

This forbidden-lobbyist-love scandal is a stroke of good fortune for John McCain. Revelations that he may have landed a sizzling hot blonde half his age have brought a new aura of virility and sex appeal to the Spanish-American war hero’s ancient carcass. He is also being hailed by Christian conservatives for having the good taste to conduct a heterosexual extramarital affair. And now we learn the scandal has brought conservative talk radio’s most lovable personalities flocking to his bosom. According to Politico, “they have a common enemy” now. Meaning, of course, the terrorists. At the New York Times. MORE »

So ha ha, funny story, this “McCain” guy had a press conference where he said he was in bed with all sorts of lobbyists, including firemen and policemen and senior citizens, and not just the blonde kind. Alas we were too distracted by the earthquake that decimated the meth-generating segment of Northern Nevada to notice. More footage coming soon, but for now please enjoy the CNN highlights. [CNN]

Here’s John McCain’s maybe-mistress/lobbyist Vicki Iseman with another GOP man who always seems to spoil the party for Walnuts. Philadelphia Daily News blogger Will Bunch dug up this pic of the Pennsylvania-edumacated Iseman — part of an exciting “Indiana University of Pennsylvania” alum magazine feature about Iseman that will become important background material for everyone. MORE »