John McCain’s sexytime lobbyist friend, Vicki Iseman, has dropped her $27 million suit against the New York Times over a story last year which implied-but-not-really that she and WALNUTS! used to fuck all the time. Times Washington bureau chief Dean Baquet e-mailed the news to his staff in a rather pissy memo: “Vicki Iseman has dropped her lawsuit against The Times, just weeks after it was filed. We paid no money. We did not apologize. We did not retract one word of the story, which was a compelling chapter in the tale of Senator John McCain and his political rise.” If that clown lady has a problem, she can go suck an egg. [Michael Calderone]

Dig through your memory of the 20 trillion mini-scandals that defined the ceaseless 2-hour news cycle we called the “2008 Presidential Election” and you may remember a liberal New York Times story that was structured something like this: (a) [first few grafs] CORPORATE LIAR & ADULTERER JOHN MCCAIN VIOLENTLY BANGS THE HELL OUT OF THIS NON-WIFE CORPORATE LOBBYIST HARLOT, FOR BLOOD MONEY (b) [segue graf] Ha ha just kidding, well maybe, just that some dude told us that (c) [the final 95% of the story] There are a few modest ambiguities in John McCain’s Senate record, the end. The Times was attacked from both the left and the right for this needless, comical story. The lobbyist gal McCain was obviously boning befriending, Vicki Iseman, surely had her life destroyed, so now she’s suing the New York Times for a $27 million cash prize which will almost certainly bankrupt the newspaper. Vicki Iseman, ha ha, holy shit! Blast from the past! [AP]

Seven months and fifteen billion news cycles after everyone forgot about that New York Times article about John McCain’s torrid sex affair with the gal who looked like his wife, only younger, that alleged gal has now surfaced to deny she ever had sex with John McCain. Whaaaa? MORE »

Crack reporters at ABC News have uncovered the real evidence that Mike Huckabee set up American hero John McCain for a fall: his continued hints at an upcoming “YouTube moment” of reckoning. That and Huckabee’s continued presence in the Republican primary race, despite there being no statistical chance he could clinch the nomination…unless something terrible were to happen to McCain, of course. MORE »

This forbidden-lobbyist-love scandal is a stroke of good fortune for John McCain. Revelations that he may have landed a sizzling hot blonde half his age have brought a new aura of virility and sex appeal to the Spanish-American war hero’s ancient carcass. He is also being hailed by Christian conservatives for having the good taste to conduct a heterosexual extramarital affair. And now we learn the scandal has brought conservative talk radio’s most lovable personalities flocking to his bosom. According to Politico, “they have a common enemy” now. Meaning, of course, the terrorists. At the New York Times. MORE »

So ha ha, funny story, this “McCain” guy had a press conference where he said he was in bed with all sorts of lobbyists, including firemen and policemen and senior citizens, and not just the blonde kind. Alas we were too distracted by the earthquake that decimated the meth-generating segment of Northern Nevada to notice. More footage coming soon, but for now please enjoy the CNN highlights. [CNN]

Here’s John McCain’s maybe-mistress/lobbyist Vicki Iseman with another GOP man who always seems to spoil the party for Walnuts. Philadelphia Daily News blogger Will Bunch dug up this pic of the Pennsylvania-edumacated Iseman — part of an exciting “Indiana University of Pennsylvania” alum magazine feature about Iseman that will become important background material for everyone. MORE »