vice president
Holy beans, Rob Portman is a chicken! Someone just got a lot more qualified for the vice presidency. WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW and then ask yourselves, hmm, what should Joe Biden counter with in their debate? He does a mean impression of a human taking a shit, we hear.
Are you sad because the exciting contest over which angry white fellow would take on Barack Obama in November is now over, and extra sad because the winner was the dude who was super awkward and boring, and not even super awkward and boring in kind of a fun way? Do you hold out high [...]
West Palm Beach, Fla – Y’all ready to see if George H.W. Bush’s testes can ruin the world (again)? Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush says he might prove it by considering a shot at the veep spot, if asked nicely by Willard. But he doesn’t think Willard likes him that way. That’s ok, because even [...]
Marco Rubio, who insists repeatedly that he has little interest in the vice presidency, continues to accept every fluffy interview that offers him a platform to talk about the vice presidency. Check out this most recent, sorta definitive one with Major Garrett, who asked him, “So, if Mitt Romney asks, you will you say no?” [...]
We have been suggesting it for years: Palin/Santelli ’12. Santelli/Shimkus ’12. Becton/Santelli ’12. Newt/Santelli ’12. Sanford/Santelli ’12. Cornyn/Santelli ’12. “Jessie”/Santelli ’36. Mitterand/Santelli ’12. Eastman/Santelli ’12. Cheney/Santelli ’12. MAIL MAN/Santelli ’12. Jim Ready/Sanelli ’12. This is just a small sample of our recommendations. But now it is time to act. CNBC ranter jackass Rick Santelli, the [...]
Ol’ Walnuts was on television again this morning, just sort of fucking around with Charlie Rose et al., cracking jokes, you know how it is with these people. Hey, Johnny Baby, who d’you think should get that VP slot, eh? Give us a name, Mac. Just some banter, you know, McCain likes that. Banter. How [...]
Here is a Hot Scoop via our nation’s secret spy network, CSPAN: one of the main guys from John McCain’s VP vetting committee spilled salacious details on how and why Joe Lieberman did not get to be John McCain’s Sarah Palin.
At this point everybody knows about how Sarah Palin griped at some GOP dinner last week about how there was nobody to pray with before the vice presidential debate besides her speech coach/daughter, Piper. And Jesus. Naturally, McCain aides who suffered by her side for months, TWO WHOLE MONTHS, are furious at the suggestion that [...]
Jill Biden, huzzah! She should own sixteen Nobel Prizes already, for staying married to the blabbermouth Joe Biden and for sending out a fundraising appeal on behalf of the pants monster Hillary Clinton. Now she deserves another prize, for Truth, because of what she told Oprah yesterday.
Human dumpster Sarah Palin hasn’t held many unnecessary interviews in the last few weeks, what the hell is wrong with her? Does she want this thing in 2012 or not?? Her lazy ass needs to be in cold motherfuckin’ IOWA right now and every week for the next few years, going to fried steak dinners [...]
Joe Biden used to have a nice life. He did his work at the Senate, and then he took a relaxing train ride back to his nice house and family in Delaware. Thanks to the sinister schemes of your new president, Barack Obama, the happy times of Joe Biden will all end forever in January, [...]
Even if Joe Biden manages to escape Dick Cheney’s house and walk out that front door again… well, he’ll never be the same. Oh, the horrible things he will see. There’ll be no more jokes from Crazy Joe, we’re afraid. [YouTube]
Joe Biden has accepted a rare invitation from America’s most popular politician, Dick Cheney, to tour his off-the-grid slave castle, “One Observatory Circle,” for an “evening sit-down” tomorrow. The tour will kick off with Dick Cheney opening the front door and shooting his successor in the skull, lopping off a chunk of brain. Joe will [...]
Ha ha ha darling cub reporter Damon Weaver is the next Liz Glover! Joe Biden totally treats this wee child like a normal press person — invading his personal space, saying “literally” when he means “figuratively,” and promising that President Barack Obama will start a million foreign wars as soon as he’s in office. The [...]
