July 22, 2014
New Jersey’s Senate passed a gay marriage bill today! Now it will go to the state Assembly, which will pass it, because Assemblies pass everything. Then it will hit the desk of the good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, Chris Christie, who will veto it and then curse out some teachers, for his breakfast dessert.
Arizona Governor Jan Brewer is best known for chupacabra-ing Hispanics who have the misfortune of living in or passing through the jaws of her state, and given that made her a Teabagger saint, most would have assumed she’d sign the birther bill that would have forced presidential candidates to present a birth certificate (or show […]
It’s like a veto, but with a half-cryptic message! Schwarzenegger’s office responds that this is just a “weird coincidence,” kind of like that time when foreign actor Arnold Schwarzenegger somehow became Governor of California. And yet! The bill he was rejecting in this letter was one dealing with financing for San Francisco ports, sponsored by […]
IOWAN-STYLE GAY MARRIAGE COMES TO VERMONT: Activist legislators have introduced mandatory gay marriage in the seat of our democracy, the tiny rural New England state of Vermont. With heterosexual marriage officially Under Peril, we will leave it to Vermont’s judges to enforce the will of the people. [AP]
Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, the Indian street urchin who is also somehow a Mexican Catholic exorcist, is 36-years-old and supposedly “beloved” by his backward state, for being charismatic and Strong. He has been a governor for literally -2 hours. The state has chosen this moment to start hating him, for reneging on a campaign pledge […]