Tag: vermont

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, October 18, 2016

The Trumps talk about 'boy stuff,' Obama has a job interview, and Tim Kaine gives an entire speech in Not American!
Good thing he's trustworthy,or we might suspect he's not always truthful.

Donald Trump’s Foundation Remarkably Bad At Charity, Ain’t That A Kick In The Pants?

Donald Trump caught lying again about charitable donations? The deuce you say!
Gesturing like a rockstar

Bernie Sanders And Spike Lee Want To Do The Right Thing. (GET IT?)

With the New York primaries coming up in two weeks, noted political analysis journal The Hollywood Reporter brings us this sit-down with two favorite sons of Brooklyn, Spike Lee and Bernie Sanders, both of whom can be summed up...

Stories Of Staggeringly Dumb Restaurant Customers, Part 2

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we've got a special bonus week of more Dumb Customer stories, because WOW do I have a...

Marco Rubio Wins A State, Still Second-Place Champion Of Our Hearts

Aww, serial state-loser Marco Rubio finally won a place! We wonder, though, if this means he'll have to bow out of his run for Second-Place President of the United States of America? Aww, poor Marco; no matter what he...
These ladies apparently.

Mean Tinder App Won’t Let Everybody #FeelTheBern, In Their Pants

OH GOLLY GEE HIP HOORAY, we think we found a story about the Democratic primary that will NOT make anybody weep and wail and gnash their teeths and beat their breasteses and helicopter their peeners in anger all over...

Bernie Bro Just Wondering Who Her Royal Highness Michelle Obama Thinks She Is Anyway

It has come to our attention that a young man on the internet has all the feels for Bernie Sanders. Oh, sorry, we ought to be more specific, oughtn't we? This particular young man enjoys freelance blogging his undying love for...
I AM THE DUMMEST AND I BREATHE OUT OF MY MOUTH

Tom Cotton Screwing Up The One Good Thing Congress Might’ve Done This Year

Wow, it looks like Congress is actually going to accomplish something for once, on prison reform! Surely, no one can screw this one up for us, right? Ohhh, you sweet summer child. So who's here to rain on our happy...

Bernie Sanders Happy To Discuss ISIS And Terrorism Any Time That Isn’t Now

The great senator from Vermont was in Baltimore Tuesday, for a Real Talk tour of the city with black community leaders and activists. The tour included the neighborhood where Freddie Gray, who died in police custody in April, was...
It's your right to make everyone around you sick

Vermont Anti-Vaxxers Might Have To Start Own Church To Freely Worship Measles

The traditionally godless heathen state of Vermont, home of your favorite socialist and your favorite ice cream, has decided to pick up California's handcrafted hippy-dippy anti-vax woo woo slack. Earlier this year, California Gov. Jerry "Is 'Moonbeam' Still Funny?" Brown signed into law a requirement that parents...

Bernie Sanders Will Officially Socialize You, America, From The White House

Rejoice, Liberal-Americansians, for Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders (Socialist and proud of it!) officially declared on Tuesday that he is running to be president of U.S. America. Awwwwww yeah! And lest you think Sanders is just some silly vanity candidate...
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

President Bernie Sanders Will Force Your Kids To Have Free College

Just when we thought we had reached the zenith of our love for Vermont's proudly socialist Sen. Bernie Sanders, and dead serious Democratic presidential candidate, he comes along and proposes legislation to provide free tuition at public colleges and...
We trade weed for beer! It's like Settlers of Cattan, but more fun!

Vermont Heroes Taking Your Booze Hostage For Legal Weed

Some Vermont legislators have a pretty compelling argument: If the state won't legalize marijuana, then how about we prohibit all recreational drugs? State Reps. Jean O'Sullivan, a Democrat, and Christopher Pearson, a Progressive (really!), have filed a bill to...
Now write it down a hundred times. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

Vermont Proposes Official Latin Motto, Wingnuts Tell Vermont To Go Back To Mexico

Here's a sweet little story of Democracy in Action. A bright eighth grader writes to her state legislator with an idea for a law: Vermont doesn't have an official Latin motto, so why not adopt one? And for that...

Bernie Sanders Has 12-Point Plan To Save America By Eating The Rich

Bernie Sanders, our favorite socialist senator and only socialist senator but still our favorite anyway, has a terrific new economic plan to save America, and it's so crazy it just might work! Except, of course, that it will never...