Let’s review the list of people who will not be Barack Obama’s running mate: Hillary Clinton, because she would poison him; Jack Reed, because he isn’t interested; Tim Kaine, because of the eyebrows; and Joan Allen, because of her rumored college sex orgy. Now there is only one human left on the planet who meets Barack Obama’s stringent requirements of gravitas, foreign policy chops, and hair plugs… MORE »

CRAZY JIM WEBB WON’T NOT BE VEEP: Gun-nut Senator Jim Webb refuses to refuse accepting a vice-president nomination, presumably from Obama, but possibly from fellow Republican crazy Vietnam vet John McCain. [MTV News]