Wonkette

We just received an awesome email advertisement offer that sounds like the perfect way to make random last-minute hiring decisions. Subject: Same day hiring decisions are possible. MORE »

Besides her sudden disappearance from tonight’s RNC lineup, there are many other signs that Sarah Palin will be the first major-party veep nominee to drop off the ticket since George McGovern dumped Thomas Eagleton for being crazy, way back in 1972. What are the other chilling new signs of Snowbilly Loserdom? MORE »

Poor Sarah Palin! We mean, “Sarah Palin lies everyday about everything!” In any case, our beloved junior governor from Alaska is now embroiled in so many snowbilly scandals that she’s probably not going to last through the week. Let’s start this fun new feature, about all the ways poor Sarah is about to be tossed off the ticket, maybe. MORE »

• ABC NEWS STICKING WITH BIDEN: Is there Joementum? Biden supposedly has extra Secret Service protection around the house, too. [ABC News]

BUH-BAYH: It’s not Bayh or Kaine, according to MSNBC. This Jack Reed thing is looking more and more likely. [MSNBC]

OH HI POTUS ‘08 XM LISTENERS: Here is how you send terrible fake Obama veep TXT messages. [POTUS '08]

HMMM: “Type http://www.obamanelson.com into your browser and see what happens.” Sen. Ben Nelson of Nebraska? Willie Nelson of Austin? Hair-metal twins Nelson? Or maybe something semi-logical, like Sen. Bill Nelson of Florida?

OBAMA RELOADED: Tipster “Joseph S.” writes: “Obama’s Downloads site is being updated! If you go to his site and click Media, then Downloads, it goes to Downloads v2. However, there is no page there. Something’s happening.” [WHAT IS HAPPENING?]

MOST IMPORTANT POLITICAL STORY OF OUR LIVES: “The website Wonkette might have something to do with the proliferation of hoax messages. At 2:07 p.m. Wednesday, managing editor Ken Layne posted a step-by-step manual from a reader under the headline: Freak Out Your Friends With Fake Obama VP TXT. ‘We are proud to help cause confusion and excitement during this terrible boring week of no news at all,’ Layne wrote in an email to Politico.” [Politico]

Wonkette operative “Basart” just sent iron-clad evidence supporting his completely made-up theory that Lincoln “Rhode Island Red” Chaffee will be Barack’s challenging independent vice president — our new LBJ! The list is sure to surprise/confound you. MORE »

Here’s some low-level fuckery to get you through the afternoon, courtesy of perverse Wonkette Operative “Bobby,” who sends hilarious instructions for sending legitimate-looking TXT announcements from Barack Obama. Who will be the new vice president? Whoever you want, that’s who! MORE »

Let’s review the list of people who will not be Barack Obama’s running mate: Hillary Clinton, because she would poison him; Jack Reed, because he isn’t interested; Tim Kaine, because of the eyebrows; and Joan Allen, because of her rumored college sex orgy. Now there is only one human left on the planet who meets Barack Obama’s stringent requirements of gravitas, foreign policy chops, and hair plugs… MORE »

CRAZY JIM WEBB WON’T NOT BE VEEP: Gun-nut Senator Jim Webb refuses to refuse accepting a vice-president nomination, presumably from Obama, but possibly from fellow Republican crazy Vietnam vet John McCain. [MTV News]