Tag Archives: vawa

  Aw nuts

Republican Sen. Mitch McConnell Is NOT Going To Vote For Hillary’s Vagina

Here's your gender card right here
Senate Majority Leader In Name Only Mitch McConnell (R-Literally A Tortoise) is not a big fan of the ladies. Oh, sure, he’ll pretend he is, when he is running for re-election. He will try to make with the sweet pillow talk, all like, “Heyyyyyyyyyy ladies, I support the Violence Against Women Act, because you shouldn’t smack your bitch up,” but then he’ll vote against it because he thinks it is OK to smack your bitch up if she’s a lesbian bitch with brown skin. He’s that kind of feminist. You know, the kind that is bad at feminisming. Read more on Republican Sen. Mitch McConnell Is NOT Going To Vote For Hillary’s Vagina…
  It's like equality but different

Republican Ladies Have Own Equal Pay Bill, Aren’t They Just The Cutest Things?

Stop saying Republicans don’t care about women! They do TOO care about women. Just because they keep trying to pass laws to restrict women’s health care, and just because they suffer from verbal diarrhea about rape, and just because they think women don’t deserve equal pay for equal work because they keep blocking the Paycheck Fairness Act because that’ll just lead to unfair lawsuits against employers and murder all the jobs — none of that means they do not heart the ladies so hard! Why look, they’re even promoting a new bill to prove it! Read more on Republican Ladies Have Own Equal Pay Bill, Aren’t They Just The Cutest Things?…
  old wine in new bottle

Your Wonkette Field Guide To America’s New Sweetheart, Cathy McMorris Rodgers

So how about that State of the Union response, huh? No, not Mike Lee, though we’re sure that was adorable. Nope, not Rand Paul. We couldn’t even find his speech. The lady one. No, not the Spanglish-speaking one. The OTHER lady. The one that spoke American but gave the same speech. Cathy John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt McMorris Rodgers. That one. Wasn’t she a treat? Did you like it as she simpered and unfortunate-necklined her way into your heart, where the real State of the Union lives? Us too! We are sold on her vision for America, even though the speech didn’t really explain what that was. “Anything but the black guy” may be a rallying cry, but does not actually count as a plan to run a country, much to the GOP’s chagrin. So, what is America’s new Super Sweetheart SuperMom like? Besides being remarkably fecund while in office, having 3 babbies in 6 years, all during her Congressional terms, she is otherwise pretty much your garden variety little snipe of a Republican, but with lady parts, which makes her extra well-suited for reaching out to ladies, because their uteri can all quiver in harmony or bow down before a really busy uterus like Cathy’s or something like that. Read more on Your Wonkette Field Guide To America’s New Sweetheart, Cathy McMorris Rodgers…
  the enda the world as we know it

Nevada Sen. Dean Heller (R) Will Support Gay Non-Discrimination Bill ‘ENDA’ So It Can Go Die In House

Good news! Nevada Senator Dean Heller, a Republican, announced today that he will support the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which would ban discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity, likely giving the bill the 60 votes it needs to pass the Senate. After that, it will go to the House of Representatives, where it faces the same fate as immigration reform, the budget, and the Barack Obama Loves Motherhood and Apple Pie act of 2013. Still, maybe there’s a chance that if the Senate passes it, the House will, too? Yeah, we like to think nice thoughts on Monday morning. Read more on Nevada Sen. Dean Heller (R) Will Support Gay Non-Discrimination Bill ‘ENDA’ So It Can Go Die In House…
  He will Constitution you right in the face

Mitch McConnell’s Hero GOP Challenger Will Protect Your Constitutional Right To Beat Your Wife

Matt Bevin seems like a real nice guy. A graduate of MIT — except that he isn’t but whatev, that’s just, like, semantics, man — he is challenging Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell from the teabag wing of the Republican Party because he thinks McConnell is a giant vagina of “empty rhetoric” for not already shutting down the government to stop Obamacare. And also, according to Bevin’s list o’ grievances, for voting to make Ruth Bader Ginsburg official badass of the Supreme Court, talking to Sen. Barbara Boxer that one time, and looooooooving abortion. (Yeah, we had to snort milk out of our noses on that one too.) Still, we do love ourselves some good Republican infighting, especially when it means the wingnuts are getting hit from the right for being insufficiently wingnutty, so we are going to sit down with our bowl of popcorn and enjoy this latest little turd-flavored gem from Bevin: Read more on Mitch McConnell’s Hero GOP Challenger Will Protect Your Constitutional Right To Beat Your Wife…
  so simple a republican could do it

Old Handsome Joe Biden Slanders Neanderthals With Comparison To VAWA Opponents

Your Old Handsome Joe Biden hurt some sensitive fee-fees Thursday when he compared Republicans who held back reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act to early hominids, calling them “this sort of Neanderthal crowd” in the House. Advocates for the Neanderthal community were quick to point out that they were actually much nicer than House Republicans. Read more on Old Handsome Joe Biden Slanders Neanderthals With Comparison To VAWA Opponents…
  stop dragging gender into this already

Mitch McConnell Opposed Violence Against Women Before He Was For It

Senator Mitch McConnell’s reelection campaign is trying the old “Sure, I care about ladies and their dumb concerns” strategy, even if it has to fib shade the truth just a little bit: A press packet that McConnell’s spokeswoman distributed to reporters at a Friday event titled “Women For Team Mitch” features testimonials from Kentucky women. One of them caught the eye of Joe Sonka, a reporter for the Louisville-based LEO Weekly, who posted it on Twitter. The quote, attributed to a woman named Angela Leet in Jefferson County, read, “Mitch was the co-sponsor of the original Violence Against Women Act — and continues to advocate for stronger policies to protect women. I am proud to call him my senator.” And it’s all true, except that it leaves out the part where he actually voted against VAWA over and over and over again. Read more on Mitch McConnell Opposed Violence Against Women Before He Was For It…
  Won't someone please think of the men even more?

Men’s Rights Activists Invite Men To ‘Stand Their Ground’ Against Uppity Women, What Could Possibly Be Wrong With That?

You know how men are the real victims of domestic violence and rape and sexism and discrimination and everything else? Hey, stop laughing, it’s true! It says so on some websites created by men for men. It is a FACT that since creation, women have ruled everything and forced the weaker sex — men, obviously — to live under the oppressive thumb of the matriarchy, subject to all manner of violence and sometimes commercials on television that make men look like morons and/or potential rapists. It is awful. It is the worst. But finally, finally, there is something men can do to stand up against the misandry and fight back. They can stand their ground. No, not the kind where you hunt down a black kid in a hoodie and kill him dead because his candy looks threatening. The kind where you add your name to a letter, which is like shooting someone but WITH WORDS. For all of you bitter divorced dads out there who can’t believe you have to pay child support because the goddamned feminists and also you heard about a guy whose wife slapped him once, there is finally a safe space for you. Read more on Men’s Rights Activists Invite Men To ‘Stand Their Ground’ Against Uppity Women, What Could Possibly Be Wrong With That?…
  pull up that ladder behind you

GOP Seeks Women Soldiers for War on Women

Hey ladies. Have you been patronized today? Have national Republicans belittled your tiny mind and puny ambition yet this week? Well, they might have, but would you have even noticed between all the housework and childcare and womanly duties? Probably not, so take yourself a little break from watching The View or prettifying yourself for your man, and let this mommyblog help you out. From Roll Call: House Republicans are putting the first touches on what they hope will be a formal program to recruit more female candidates for the 2014 midterm elections. Maybe you want to trade in that vacuum cleaner for a seat in the House of Representatives!  Read more on GOP Seeks Women Soldiers for War on Women…
  sad time

NPR Ruins Day With Facts About Violence Against Women

Everything was going fine today (3 mimosas for breakfast, followed by a margarita-laden lunch), and then this bad news had to be slapped in our earholes from NPR: Thirty-five percent of women around the world have been raped or physically abused, according to statistics the World Health Organization released Thursday. About 80 percent of the time this violence occurs in the home, at the hands of a partner or spouse. Fuckin A, NPR, this is really shitty. Can’t you lull me back to sleep at 6:40 am with Garrison Keiller reading another long poem about the red cat sleeping in the loft of a blue barn surrounded by …zzzzzz… Cause this is worse than reading WND comments, or even being forced to listen to Tucker Carlson read out highlights from the Daily Caller. THIRTY-FIVE PERCENT, people – that’s more than one in three women. Ugh, man. What do others think? “For me personally, this is a shockingly high figure,” says Karen Devries, an epidemologist from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine. Yeah, no shit, Karen. This should be goddam shocking for everyone, not just for you. Unfortunately, Congress had a few opportunities to try to help with this, but guess who got in the way (hint: the party that always looks to take the war on women global). Let’s wonksplain.  Read more on NPR Ruins Day With Facts About Violence Against Women…
  be a good girl and stop whining

Tennessee Congresswoman Knows What Women Want (Hint: It’s Not Equal Pay)

Hey ladies. How you doin? Do you like things like equal pay for equal work, being treated fairly in the workplace, and not having a partner physically abuse you? Do you think it might be nice if there were laws to enforce these types of things? If so, you are one of those goddam lesbofemanazis out to destroy the all vagina-Americans everywhere! Don’t you know that women, REAL WOMEN, don’t want those kind of radical decisions to be handed down by bureaucrats Washington D.C.! Or so says your fellow vagina-American, Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN), because she hates all womyn everywhere. Read more on Tennessee Congresswoman Knows What Women Want (Hint: It’s Not Equal Pay)…
  great moments in local governance

Pennsylvania Town Plan to Curb ‘Disorderly Conduct’ Includes Evicting Battered Women

Gosh. Norristown, Pennsylvania seems like it must be a real nice place to live what with its strict schoolmarm rule against “disorderly behavior.” In order to be fair, however, the rule applies not only to those who perpetrate “disorderly behavior” but also to those who might happen to be victims of it. Best legal system in the world! Watch and learn, America: The Norristown police notified a woman whose boyfriend assaulted her that she was being evicted for the crime of disturbing the peace by being assaulted too many times. Read more on Pennsylvania Town Plan to Curb ‘Disorderly Conduct’ Includes Evicting Battered Women…
  sometimes a slap's like a kiss

No, Old Handsome Joe Biden Is Not Cool With You Slapping Your Lady (Unless It Is A Sexy Slap)

The sophisticated gentlemens of National Review Online are really, most terribly sorry for maligning our Old Handsome Joe Biden, God Love Him and Keep Him. But why are they sorry? They are sorry they are so bad at Tubechop that it was even clear to BreitbartTV that they had cut him off in the middle of the sentence. And that sentence was: We’ve learned that certain behaviors on the part of an abuser portend much more danger than other behaviors. For example, if an abuser has attempted to strangle his victim, if he has threatened to shoot her, if he has sexually assaulted her, and there’s a number of other signs, about eight others. These are tell-tale signs to say this isn’t your garden-variety slap across the face[.] Obviously, they left off the part where Joe winks, flashes those pearly whites, and murmurs huskily, “unless she’s into that.” Haha, no, he did not say that either. He said some dumb boring thing about “and that’z not okay.” Read more on No, Old Handsome Joe Biden Is Not Cool With You Slapping Your Lady (Unless It Is A Sexy Slap)…
  arms are for hugging

Liberal Monster Eric Cantor Going To FEMA Camp All Your Guns If You Offer Your Little Lady Some ‘Guidance’

It is trouble in vicious soulless eee-vil rightwing-hack-land, as radio weenie Mark Levin is calling on that dastardly anti-gun LIEBRUL Eric Cantor to go kill himself or something, because he allowed the Senate’s version of the Violence Against Women Act to come to the floor, even though some bitches be asking for it! But, like, even Republicans know they had to hold their snouts and vote for VAWA, or we would (rightfully!) call them wifebeaters every day until Jesus brings us home! So what is Marky Mark het up about this time? And why is he saying Cantor should commit seppuku and such? Because this terrible new VAWA says that if you beat your wife, you cain’t have no guns? HOW IS THAT EVEN FAIR???? The Stupidest Man on the Internet reports: Read more on Liberal Monster Eric Cantor Going To FEMA Camp All Your Guns If You Offer Your Little Lady Some ‘Guidance’…
  the hand goes up the mouth goes shut

Republicans (Maybe) Stop Beating Their Wives

Hey-o! Looks like, once again, sexxxy dreamboat John “Whisky Dick” Boehner has failed to achieve “lift-off”! In this case, once again, he has tried to placate the even-most-batshit of his brethren and then failed to pass his own bill, in his own caucus. And it looks like (maybe!) we will finally be able to answer the age-old question, “When did the Republicans stop beating their wife?” Read more on Republicans (Maybe) Stop Beating Their Wives…