Vanity Fair’s April piece on our good buddy Jack Abramoff seems to be borrowing a bit from our own coverage of the guy. It’s suspiciously nice, if you get our drift. While about half of the piece is a slightly more sympathetic version of Abramoff’s Wikipedia entry, the other half presents, more or less unfiltered, the funny little schulb we’ve come to love over here. Here’s Jack digging through his old boxes of pictures, feeling simulataneously wistful, self-pitying, and beligerant — just like all of us! MORE »

• Under the Dome: Media consultant switches parties after suing Republican candidate for unpaid fees. . . Rep. Clay Shaw (R-Fla.) is undergoing surgery today to remove cancerous tumor. [The Hill]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Vanity Fair describes Patrick Fitzgerald as obsessed with work. “He has an almost puritanical view of the world: You’re either a sinner or you’re saved,” says a New Jersey attorney. [NYDN]

• Under the Dome: Bob Livingston: “I raised hell with [Gov. Blanco] for not declaring martial law. I told her last [Wednesday] night I was going on ‘Hannity & Colmes‘ and criticize her for not doing that, and 20 minutes later, she did.”. . . Rolling Stone shadowed Bernie Sanders for upcoming article. . . National Press Club will auction nude painting. . . Albert Eisele retires about 40 years in journalism. [The Hill]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Bernstein, in latest issue of Vanity Fair, recounts tension with Woodward and Downie over Felt revelation; shows Woodward as more interested in “commerce and hype than journalism.”. . . Judi Giuliani is mum on her husband’s ‘08 intentions. [NYDN]
• Inside the Beltway: “VIP party” for CNN’s “The Situation Room” canceled due to Katrina. [WT]

• Everyone loves a Jew with a big. . . nose. [Gawker]
• The press in Crawford are way into Atkins: “a lot of them are sitting around there, eating barbecue three times a day, feeling a little resentful that the president has dragged them down there.” [CNN]
• And while they eat barbecue, the President plays Marco Polo with Lance: “Trent Duffy confirms that the president, Armstrong and the group did indeed swim in the pool after the bike ride.” [Blogs for Bush]
• The only line you need to know from Wired’s Jon Stewart interview: “I’m surprised people don’t have cables coming out of their asses.” [Lost Remote]
• If you haven’t yet read Murray Waas bitch-slapping Michael Wolff, you really should: “When you say the media didn’t report this, let’s look at the track record of Vanity Fair. Vanity Fair is coming into this ballgame pretty late, aren’t they? I mean, how long has this story been around, and when did Vanity Fair come to it?” [Media Channel]

We were so distracted by Michael Wolff’s use of the word “fucking” to describe the Plame/CIA leak investigation story that we forgot to try to figure out what he meant by it being a “fucking big story.” Like, has he seen the size of Cheney’s schlong? Anyway, we asked Fred Becker to explain.

Dear Wonkenutter,
 
I heard that at one of those fancy media lunches yesterday, Michael Wolff was heard to declare that the Valerie Plame outing was “one of the biggest stories of our age.” This is undoubtedly true. I say this because I presume by “our” he means the men’s room sect of idea-free media writers consumed by mogul envy. And by “age” he means the timelines of planet Zog.

Here on earth we’ve had a couple of wars in our age. An election was contested here and the Supreme Court had to decide the outcome. A President was impeached. Oh, and they flew some planes into buildings very near where Mr. Wolff spends frantic time stitching new gallant robes of flowing pedantry.

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