Who doesn’t love Levi Johnston! Every magazine editor in fancy New York City has, at some point in the last few months, approached Levi and asked, “Hey, Levi, would you be willing to tell us some new hilarious embarrassing shit about Sarah Palin?”, and he’s always like, “Sure, whatever, when’s the photo shoot?” In today’s revelations, Levi appears to have given Vanity Fair the mother lode for a feature in its upcoming issue, several excerpts of which are now available. They are hilarious. MORE »

Annie Liebovitz will photograph literally anyone, as long as they are marginally famous. Ever since Watergate she has taken portraits of schlubby double-chinned Administration staffers, so as to glorify the current President and reassure the nation that, while power changes hands occasionally, it transfers cleanly from one self-satisfied bureaucrat to the next. MORE »

“Hey, art department! What’s his name, famous guy, the black one, he won the president award! Vanity Fair is going to do this up right! Figure out where he’s from, or where his dad was from, just make that really big. And then get another famous black guy, from the same place, or Kentucky, doesn’t matter. Don’t forget to put Bono’s name somewhere, also really big. We need this in five minutes, ‘kay?” UPDATE: Wait, this is a cover from years ago? Why is it being emailed by VF flacks today, to illustrate a, uh, Dee Dee Myers’ article about Obama being famous? WTF. [Vanity Fair]

Some guy who was college buddies with Barbara Bush (the young one) went to the White House for dinner a couple times during George W. Bush’s first term, and now he feels icky about it because of the war, and because he is gay. Is this just a completely banal retelling of a fairly boring bunch of stories, or is it the most fascinating thing ever…OR BOTH? MORE »

Oh look who’s on the cover of Vanity Fair, and also wearing clothes for a change? It’s Carla Bruni, latest wife of Hungarian president of France Nicolas Sarkozy. What did she do to achieve this honor? Well, according to the headline, the Italian singer/supermodel’s marriage to a French president might just make her the new “Jackie O,” which was what tabloids called Jacqueline Kennedy in the decades after her husband, President John F. Kennedy, was murdered by Lyndon Johnson/the Mob/Richard Nixon/the CIA/Cuban Wingnuts and she married a Greek Tycoon named Aristotle Onassis, who was eventually murdered or just died of being old, and her name was then “Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis.” Anyway, you can see why Carla Bruni might just be the new Jackie O. [Vanity Fair] MORE »

They even called her “our commander in sheath”! Michelle Obama officially joined Vanity Fair’s International Best Dressed List, while Cindy McCain sat at home and wept into her Chico’s catalog. [NYDN/Vanity Fair]

Oh look, another one of these things. Today’s parody cartoon of the the poorly received satirical New Yorker cartoon shows Cindy McCain “cradling” a bunch of Rx pills she “adopted” from the “Dope Factory,” while Walnuts staggers along on his Old Man Walker, and there’s what’s his name, Dubya Bush Jr., on the wall, oh and what’s that in the fireplace? Why, it’s the Constitution. But that’s cool because it’s actually RON PAUL HOLDING THE CONSTITUTION. [Vanity Fair]

Your Wonkette is in Vanity Fair (the one with the cover breasts of, let’s see, yes, Angelina Jolie), in this blog chart thing showing various levels of boredom/earnestness of the famous blogs of the Internet. We did not realize our headlines were so funny, or that our articles weren’t. Anyway, this just goes to show it doesn’t take much to be America’s Wittiest Political Blog. [Vanity Fair]

The biggest news story in the world is, of course, about some little ‘tween girl from Disney TeeVee who was forced to pose for naked photographs by an old lesbian photographer for Vanity Fair. This is very shameful, how Conde Nast let its magazine be used for half-nekkid pictures of an entertainer who is a girl child. The little girl only made $100 million dollars for having to be the star of Hannah Montana, which is the story of “Achey Breaky Heart” sensation Billy Ray Cyrus and his secret daughter who wants to be on teevee. The question is, which presidential candidate was more of a lech to the innocent little child, Obama or McCain? MORE »

Now this is a creative graphic from America’s Magazine of Record, Time, which will grace the cover for its upcoming green issue. (Hey, wasn’t that Vanity Fair’s gimmick-issue to begin with?) Of course it is a play on the famous Iwo Jima photo/statue from World War II, which was a fake to begin with. Naturally, Iwo Jima veterans are very offended that their fake posing photo is being used to promote something as Communist as saving the environment. MORE »

A rich and handsome American man in his 40s “bears a striking resemblance to the 35th president of the United States” and could be the illegitimate child of John F. Kennedy. Vanity Fair was supposedly doing a big feature on the guy, but a very powerful somebody killed the story.

I am JFK’s love child, B.C. man says [The Globe and Mail]