vanity fair

Heard any good jokes lately? No. No you haven’t. Because it has been twenty years-ish (?) since Peewee Herman got busted bustin’ in that porn theater, and I got busted … well you know. I am the last time a joke happened. That was me. Well, now I am back, to tell my story for […]

Oh hey there, hipsters, whatcha doin’? Drinking your artisanal organic kale lattes in your too-skinny jeans, cutting your hair into a mullet of irony, LOLing at some listicle of 37 People On The Internet Who Are On The Internet, and thinking George Dubya Bush is, like, cool? Some lady writer at Vanity Fair (who, ahem, […]

When we were in high school we had a friend who claimed his family was really tight with Morgan Freeman’s, and he’d tell us all kinds of hilarious stories about the good times he’d had, just hanging out with Morgan Freeman and having all kinds of deep talks wherein Morgan would generously give him sage […]

(Zurich) The train to DeGaulle Airport was so hot that the wine I drank the night before poured out of me like water from the Fontaine Saint-Michel. My shirt was soaked and my deodorant was failing, and soon I would be seated inches from another passenger on an hour-long Swiss Air flight to Zurich. I […]

It is going to take weeks to unpack all of this New Yorker-length Vanity Fair article “Portrait Of Obama As A Pretentious Young Man,” but we at Your Wonkette know your carnal and emotional needs, and that is to have regular updates on this, the greatest magazine journalism of its generation. Up now! She remembered […]

Vanity Fair is out with the megahot megastory of the day: Barack Obama had girlfriends when he was a young man in New York City. Figures. And writer David Maraniss even contacted some of these ladies and got them to hand over the ol’ love letters and journals. (This was in the Ancient Times, before […]

What better occasion than the nation’s first caucus/primary thing of 2012 to remember that Americans are mouth-breathing idiots. The new Vanity Fair/CBS survey of U.S. dumbness has been released, and it proves that two-thirds of this nation’s adults have no idea that the population of the USA is approximately 300 million people. You didn’t even […]

AN INTERESTING LIFE  11:55 pm December 15, 2011

Farewell, Hitch

by Wonkette Jr.

Our favorite drink-soaked former Trotskyist popinjay passed away today after a well-publicized bout with esophageal cancer. Christopher Hitchens was 62 years old, which is kind of remarkable when you think about it. We will miss his haughty wit and clever writing as much as we’ll miss saying what a hopeless dupe he was, again and […]

The new Vanity Fair/60 Minutes/Dadaist survey is out! What random assortment of inanities will the American People opine on, this time? They would like to vote for Obama over George W. Bush, for one, and they also would like to replace the National Animal, the Bald Eagle, with maybe a Grizzly Bear or a catfish. […]

America’s elected officials range from rat-eyed sheriff bullies who mercilessly persecute the various racial minorities to the president, who constantly murders people all over the world and shovels billions of dollars to Wall Street. And yet, a new survey proves that 62% of Americans “say their past would preclude them from running for public office.” […]

It’s time for the greatest scientific barometer of America’s intellect, the Vanity Fair/CBS News poll of dingbat potpourri questions thrown at a representative sample of Americans who haven’t had their phone lines turned off by Verizon yet. What did our pollsters ask this time? To be weird, instead of asking a series of completely random […]

Vulgar idiot Donald Trump was born into a multi-million-dollar fortune and still went bankrupt, repeatedly, because he’s so dumb he can’t figure out how to make money off casinos and New York real estate. Is he actually retarded? No, he just talks that way! Donald Trump is actually a respected editor and American literary icon […]

Warnings of impending class revolt in America are showing up in the weirdest places these days — like Vanity Fair magazine, which just published this terse summary of the situation by Joseph E. Stiglitz. And Stiglitz isn’t talking about, say, the “Ron Paul Revolution,” where some deluded people send money to a wealthy libertarian congressman […]

The talent-pool demons at Vanity Fair stole away our Juli Weiner last year, and then they made her blog the same kind of stuff she blogged for Wonkette, but she had to work at the bottom of an elevator shaft beneath the Conde Nast cafeteria’s dumpster chute. It was terrible. Also, David Denby was always […]

Look around. Do you see anyone who should be “proud of their life so far”? Of course not. The few people alive who could be proud of their lives are not proud people, so by definition those who claim to be proud of their lives should actually be deeply embarrassed and constantly ashamed of their […]