valerie jarrett

FAUXBAMA  6:36 pm January 16, 2013

Valerie Jarrett Just Making Up Badass Obama Quotes

by Rich Abdill

In case you missed it in today’s New York Liberal Rag, we want to bring you a particularly interesting tidbit from an “oral history” of Obama’s first term, which has a far different meaning than when it refers to certain other presidents. It is a story from senior advisor (suspected communist) Valerie Jarrett, about a [...]

SLEEPS WITH THE FISHES  4:25 pm July 30, 2012

Daily Caller: Barack Obama Such A Loser He Only Killed Bin Laden Once

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

OH NOEZ Barack H. Christ has not killed Osama Bin Laden dead often enough for the pleasant fellows of the Daily Caller, as their screaming headlines insist he let OBL go three times (before killing him). Let us hear their evidence, which is contradicted by every other instance of deep-dive reporting on the subject, and [...]

NEEDZ MOAR WHITEBOARD  5:48 pm April 11, 2012

WingNutDaily Is Not Pleased With Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s Stealing All Its Vettenings

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Uh oh, there is trouble in right-wing-asshole paradise! Look how mad WND is at Ghost Andrew Breitbart for stealing all its shit! This is the sound of a riding glove meeting a soft hairless cheek! Editor’s note: In 2008, WND thoroughly vetted President Obama’s radical background. Many of those original exclusive reports, almost entirely ignored [...]

DINNER-PARTY FOUL  11:59 am February 7, 2011

Valerie Jarrett Commits Faux Pas At ‘Fancy Dinner!’

by Jack Stuef

Four-star Army Gen. Peter Chiarelli — the No. 2 general in the U.S. Army — says he is absolutely not offended that Obama adviser Valerie Jarrett mistook him for a waiter at a fancy Washington dinner this week and asked him for a glass of wine. [...] “It was an honest mistake that ANYONE could [...]

REBLOGGING MAUREEN  1:16 pm July 26, 2010

Maureen Dowd Now Shouldering the White Man’s Burden

by Sara Benincasa

Hi, Black People! Famous New York Times griot Maureen Dowd has written an entire column about what you adorable (chocolate) Munchkins do and don’t need. She also helpfully defines who is and is not Black Enough! Let’s parse her latest masterpiece, which is titled “For Rich Old White Ladies Who Have Considered Suicide, When the [...]

COUNTERFACTUALS  1:40 pm June 30, 2010

by Josh Fruhlinger

OH, WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN: According to the testimony of some union thug, Rod Blagojevich thought that maybe he could appointed Secretary of Health and Human Services if he appointed close personal Obama friend Valerie Jarrett to the Senate. He came up with this idea after he specifically found out that Obama wanted Jarrett to [...]

OBAMA GOES TO JAIL  5:09 pm December 23, 2008

Obama Transition Team Reports That Obama Transition Team Did Nothing Wrong

by Jim Newell

The Obama camp’s internal investigation report about its contact with Blaggy’s office regarding the “fuckin’ valuable” Senate seat “thing” has been released. Written by Obama’s fancy lawyer, Greg Craig, the report comes in at a brisk 4.5 pages. No one on the Obama team, according to the Obama team report, ever discussed any sort of [...]


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