Reposted late due to technical error — sue us. MORE »

* LNS Party Crash — Valentine’s Day Party at Smith Point. Let Rusty be your guide. [why.i.hate.dc]
* Even if you’re not single this Valentine’s Day, deep down you know that no one really loves you. Sooth your soul with a free cupcake from Cal Tort tomorrow. [prof & ponder]
* Great photo of 11th & F after the 1968 riots. [City Desk]
* “Can you imagine what would happen if people in Paris, London, Rome, or Vienna couldn’t vote?” [alternative hippopotamus]
* Valentine’s kid shot at 7th and G St NW. [Gallery Place Living]

* Free rape cave. [CL]
* Touch someone. Perform your “BREAKUP STORIES, EMBARRASSING LOVE LETTERS (THOSE RECEIVED and THOSE WRITTEN AND MERCIFULLY UNSENT) and OTHER ASSORTED TALES of ROMANTIC WOE.” [Metroblogging DC]
* Raven II coming soon. [Counter Intelligence]
* “If Metro behavior was a factor in determining whether most of you are fit parents, the answer would be a resounding NO.” [Texpundit]
* Photos from Sunday night’s Deerhoof show. [Pancake Mountain]

* Heard on the Hill: It is possible to vaguely connect the death of Anna Nicole Smith to Congress. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: In what might be the single weirdest Reliable Source item we’ve ever seen, Amy and Roxanne uncover a heretofore unpublished love letter from Woodrow Wilson to his eventual wife. Woodrow signed it, “Tiger.” [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Darrell Issa asked grieving widows testifying before Congress who wrote their opening statement… The National Association of Manufacturers accidentally scheduled their congressional reception on Valentine’s Day… Nancy Pelosi added the first anniversary of Dick Cheney shooting that guy to the calender she sent to Democrats last week. [Examiner]
* Washington Whispers: “Top secret” religious right group (members include Tim LaHaye and James Dobson) prefers Mike Huckabee to Mitt Romney 60-40. [USN&WR]

What we learned: MORE »

An embedded congressional operative recently sent us this little document, just in time for Valentine’s Day. Because we are living in a world where Lite-Brites shut down major cities for entire panicky days, Congress cannot be too careful when it comes to obviously harmless signifiers of childlike joy.

So if you’d like to send Michele Bachmann some chocolates, remember that “flowers, cards, candy, and gifts of any type” will be held “off-site” in quarantine for at least two days.

Furthermore, if you’d like to directly send Denny Hastert a pick-me-up bouquet, someone in his office will have to engage in some Deep Throat shit to pick it up:

If you are contacted by a delivery person who wants to deliver cut flowers, please instruct the delivery person to meet you in an outside public area. You must meet the delivery person, inspect the flowers and bring the flowers into the House Office complex yourself.

The vigilance of the Capitol Police has ensured that the easiest way to completely shut down the entire Capitol complex this Valentine’s season is to send everyone in congress a single rose.

Full policy after the jump.

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We haven’t received too many responses yet to our Valentine’s Day request for your tales of kissing “famous for D.C.” types, such as members of Congress, high-ranking Administration officials, or well-known talking heads. So if you have any, please email us. And they don’t have to be scandalous — we’d welcome an email from the wife of a senator saying that her husband is a super smoocher. MORE »

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* Do we really need to say anything more than “Amatuer Pink Vegan Jello Wrestling”? Registration ends at 6, so get your hot Vegan ass down to 18th St. pronto, ladies. [Asylum]
* If your significant other doesn’t want you wrestling or ogling (or if, for some bizarre reason, that scene doesn’t appeal to you), the Black Cat’s annual V-Day dance party is being held, confusingly, at Local 16 tonight. If you don’t have a significant other, show up and sort of nod your head in the back. [WP CityGuide]
* It’s still winter! Go ice skating! Hurry! It’ll all melt and then we’ll be stuck with lame summer activities like golf and sweating! [Reston Town Center]

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Presented as a public service to those of you with no one to share this very special day with: MORE »