Tag: vaginas

The Sarah Palin Farknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker

Sarah Palin Just Yelled ‘Hoohah!’ And Now Our Week Is Complete

Sarah Palin thinks a common euphemism for vagina is also the Marines' battle cry.
Take that, Austin!

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Gardasil Prevents Cancer, So Anti-Vaxxers Figure It’s Poison

Good day to you, fair readers! It's time once again for the Snake Oil Bulletin. This week we shall be taking a gander at lady parts and diseases thereof. Oh no, you rakish rapscallions. We shant be spying any...

Snake Oil Bulletin: Anti-Vaxxers Get Up In Mark Zuckerberg’s Face, Plus Menstrual Beauty!

Salutations! It's time again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, a weekly compendium of the best in flim flam, phooey, and assorted nonsense. Are you ready to explore the mad mad mad mad world of anti-vaxxers? Of course you are,...
Who ya got?

Feminist Hero Donald Trump Wishes Bill And Hillary Wouldn’t Be So Sexist To Ladies

There is so much sexism in America right now, and unfortunately it is all being done by Bill Clinton, and Hillary Clinton, and also Bill Clinton's 1990s penis. If that doesn't make sense to you, that's because you are...

Christian Bride Passes Traditional Daddy Vag Inspection Before Wedding

  Weddings are the toughest, amirite, ladies? But they are the most magical day in a girl's life, if you can just make everything Just So in preparation for your big day. STEP ONE: Find a man whose walk with...
Hi Kim Davis, bye Kim Davis!

Pope Francis Offers Get Out Of Hell Free Card To Baby-Killing Whores

Sometimes we like New Pope Frank. Like, when he gets all Truffula tree-huggy and wants to save the Swomee Swans, or whatever, because God said, "Here is a earth-shaped planet, keep it pretty." And those times when New Pope is like,...

Here Is A Picture Of Mitt Romney’s Grandchildren Inside A Giant Vagina

Mitt Romney went camping and he was all blah blah blah the American West and air conditioning and there's nothing more important than family, also the Ukraine. Honestly, you don't need to read it, it is boring and lame...

The Taming Of The Slut: A One Act Play Inspired By Today’s SCOTUS Hobby Lobby Decision

The curtain opens on a  generic office setting. THE BOSS sits behind a desk, feet up, hands folded behind head. His employee, LADY WORKER, enters, looking nervous.  LADY WORKER: You wanted to see me? THE BOSS: Yes, yes. Do sit down,...

The Buffalo Bills Will Helpfully Teach Cheerleaders How To Wash Their Lady Parts And Menstruate Properly

Has your place of employment ever explained how you should clean and care for your vagina? No? Well, maybe you’re doin’ it wrong. If no one ever told you, how do you know you’re doin’ it right? We here...

Fox’s Brit Hume: Chris Christie Only Seems Like A Bully If You Think With Your Vagina

Here's one for the "compelling explanations" file: On Fox News on Sunday (but not Fox News Sunday, that's different), Brit Hume was ready to mansplain away that whole crazy "Chris Christie is a vindictive bully" thing. Turns out, that...

Barack Obama Puts Duck Dynasty Guy In Free Speech Prison

A&E Network has suspended Phil Robertson, star of the Duck Dynasty teevee program, following his charming opinions on teh gheys and what they do with their man-parts. In a recent interview in GQ, Robertson explained that “It seems like,...

If You Look At Pix Of Lady Parts On Campus Then The Terrorists Have Already Won

Today is not-fair day here at Wonket. Dok Zoom gets the fancy serious chat with Andy Carvin while the rest of yr Wonkette argues about who has to write about stupid things like vaginas. NO, vaginas themselves are not...

Devilish NYPD ‘Cannibal Cop’ Planned To Cook Women Alive, Was Less Creepy On Rape Than Entire GOP

New York police officer Gil Valle had some devilish plans for roughly 100 women that were not very nice. He was going to kidnap them, tie them to some sort of cooking implement, and then roast them slowly, keeping...

Helpful Sign On Michigan Politician’s Porch Lets World Know How He Feels About Vag

Michigan Speaker of the House Jase Bolger has a well-known antipathy for vagina. He famously reprimanded two state representatives for defiling the sanctity of the state House floor by uttering the foul, anatomically correct word. This week a militant, likely...

NC Senate To Victims Of Forced Sterilization: Too Bad, So Sad

Heroes of fiscal discipline in North Carolina have made an astonishing discovery: paying compensation to the victims of a horrible crime does not actually make that crime un-happen in the past! Because of this ironclad law of physics, Republicans...

Michigan Lawmaker Simply Does Not Care For Radical Feminist ‘No Means No’ Ideology

Is everyone tired of talking about Michigan and vaginas and vaginas in Michigan? No, apparently not, because state Rep. Wayne Schmidt (R - Qom Traverse City) wants you to know the state House didn't muzzle Lisa Brown for saying vagina....