Tag Archives: vaccines

  Money money money

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Why Did Jesus Send Us To Collections, Mommy?

PAY UP. Welcome back, sinners. It’s time once again for the Snake Oil Bulletin! We would like to take this time to remind our readers that unless you’ve paid your monthly $7.99 readers’ fee, in addition to keeping up on your annual $150 membership fee to our 2 Smart 4 Scammers Club, and thrown in a couple extra bucks towards Donna Rose’s college fund while you’re at it, you are forbidden to read this week’s edition of the Snake Oil Bulletin. We tried to erect a paywall like some sort of real newspaper, but we can’t afford to build that paywall unless you pay us the money to keep you away from our content! Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: Why Did Jesus Send Us To Collections, Mommy?…
  Real talk

Carly Fiorina Goes Anti-Vaxxer Stupid, Still Won’t Be President

Maybe the demon sheep ruined HP.
The stupid, it burns when you pee Fresh off her glorious triumph over her fellow second-tier Republican presidential candidates (ooh, she did words more better than Rick Perry, impressive!), our nation at long last is ready to tune in to the wit and wisdom of Carly Fiorina. And what, pray tell, does that sound like? Read more on Carly Fiorina Goes Anti-Vaxxer Stupid, Still Won’t Be President…
  gross

Rick Santorum Knows Fetuses Are Cuddle Buddies, Not ‘Medical Research’

I did not do research on that fetus!
I did not do research on that fetus! Ooh, Rick Santorum said a ZING! at one of the idiots he’s running against, Ben Carson, because that’s how he’s going to get the Republican nomination, by yipping at the other loser candidates like an underfoot Pomeranian. He’s ankle-biting Carson, because back in Carson’s doctor days, he did all sorts of fetus parts research. If Santorum were a doctor (LOL), would HE do fetus parts research? Golly gee, no way, CNN’s Chris Cuomo, how could you even suggest such a thing?! Read more on Rick Santorum Knows Fetuses Are Cuddle Buddies, Not ‘Medical Research’…
  So wasteful!

Fox News Jackass Greg Gutfeld Will Keep Fetuses In Wastebaskets Where They Belong

This is what Greg Gutfeld looks like when he thinks he just made a point.
This is what Greg Gutfeld looks like when he thinks he just made a point. Yr Wonkette, as you know, is a pro-life mommyblog. HEAR US OUT. We’re pro-life in the REAL, grown-up way, the one where abortion is legal, and women should have a right to do with their living bodies as they please, and we believe in doing all that we can to support living, breathing human beings. Also, fetal tissue research is VITAL to finding cures for cancer and developing vaccines and all sorts of other things. Heck, it’s so great that wingnut presidential candidate Ben Carson used to do it all the time! So, considering these facts, it’s very PRO-LIFE to support women in their choices to donate fetal tissue after abortions, so that tissue can be used to SAVE THE WORLD! Read more on Fox News Jackass Greg Gutfeld Will Keep Fetuses In Wastebaskets Where They Belong…
  busted

Dr. Ben Carson Was Big Fan Of Using Baby Parts Back In His Doctorin’ Days

Dumb at doctoring.
Dumb at doctoring. OOH! OOH! BREAKING FETUS PARTS NEWS! You know how “pro-life” Ben Carson is running for president, but before that, he was the BEST doctor in all the land, and the first person ever to separate twins conjoined at the head? And know how Carson, as a doctor, recently offered his very medical opinion that not only is Planned Parenthood chopping up babies and auctioning them off on eBay (no it’s not), but it also does racist genocide to the blacks, racistly, because this one time Margaret Sanger, blah blah blah bullshit? Yes well, Dr. Jen Gunter, a ladyparts doctor-blogger who specializes in “wielding the lasso of truth,” uncovered a fun little nugget of information, which is that the very same Ben Carson not only did research on fetal tissue, but also wrote papers about it like he’s not even ashamed of it! Who’s the racist genociding Planned Parenthood baby parts secret shopper now, HUH? Read more on Dr. Ben Carson Was Big Fan Of Using Baby Parts Back In His Doctorin’ Days…
  Now THIS is pro-life

Abortion Is Good For Everyone, It’s Science

A lot, actually Abortion is a wonderful thing. It’s a safe and simple medical procedure that allows women to control whether and when to have babies, and, in certain cases when a pregnancy becomes life-threatening, it saves women’s lives. That’s why a third of American women have abortions, and almost every single one of them (95 percent) are glad they did. Read more on Abortion Is Good For Everyone, It’s Science…
  The striped pajamas really complement that martyr's cross

Snake Oil Bulletin: God Frees Tax-Criming Creationist From Slammer Right On Time, Praise Jesus!

Marriage is fun!
Greetings and consternation, friends! It’s time once again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly round-up of quacks, flim-flammers, and hornswogglers outrunning Johnny Law as best they can. We’ve got some young earth creationists on the Bulletin today, so give a big Jesus-riding-a-dinosaur welcome to Kent Hovind, back from his 9-year stint up the river in Oz. Make sure to see him now, folks, because a catch like this doesn’t stay free long. Read more on Snake Oil Bulletin: God Frees Tax-Criming Creationist From Slammer Right On Time, Praise Jesus!…
  nice time!

University Cancels Dumb Jenny McCarthy Anti-Vaxxer ‘Science’ Class

Suck it, anti-vaxxers
The University of Toronto (allegedly, that’s in Canada, but we’ll double-check with native son Ted Cruz) has been offering budding young boy and girl minds a real neat class about how measles is good for you, vaccines are bad, and plenty of ailments can be cured with some good old-fashioned homeopathic hippie herbal woo-woo voodoo. And quantum mechanics prove it! Sure, why not, other than how that is stupid and wrong and STUPID AND WRONG? The class, “Alternative Health: Practice and Theory,” is taught by homeopath Beth Landau-Halpern, who is married to the university’s dean, probably a total coincidence. Read more on University Cancels Dumb Jenny McCarthy Anti-Vaxxer ‘Science’ Class…
  Won't somebody think of the younglings?

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Anti-Vaxxer Death Squads Will Set Us Free

Welcome back, folks! It’s time again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly guide for all the hottest tips and tricks to feng shui your crystals into an alignment more conducive for your chakral energy surges. Y’know, bullshit. We’ve got a full collection of stories to cover so let’s dive right in. Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: Anti-Vaxxer Death Squads Will Set Us Free…
  dumb and dumberer

Let’s Point And Laugh At Dumb Jim Carrey Twitter-Ranting About Vaccines

California finally passed its vaccine bill, removing most religious and personal belief exemptions for vaccination in public schools (almost as if contagious diseases really don’t care if you don’t “believe” in them). Yay for California! But oh no, what is that sound off in the distance? It sounds like a slow leaking fart bursting through a pair of flannel stretch pants. In Canadian! Read more on Let’s Point And Laugh At Dumb Jim Carrey Twitter-Ranting About Vaccines…
  Not A Rash Decision

California Pries Measles Out Of Anti-Vaxxers’ Cold, Dumb Hands

Are your brains melting yet, Mommy? Are they? Now, about that pony...
Hey, how about some Science Nice Time? California Gov. Jerry Brown signed the state’s new vaccine requirement into law today, over the cries of “Government Oppression!” and “Big Pharma! Big Pharma! Big Pharma!” from anti-vaxxers. The bill eliminates exemptions for personal and religious beliefs, even though many Californians will be sad because their precious unvaccinated disease vectors will not be allowed to attend public schools. Read more on California Pries Measles Out Of Anti-Vaxxers’ Cold, Dumb Hands…
  Anti-Vaxxers Are Easily Spotted

California GOP Lady: Why Cram Vaccines Down Everyone’s Throat Over One Measly Outbreak?

Think about the real victims, will you?
Last month, the California Senate passed SB 277, a bill that got rid of exemptions for “personal and religious beliefs” from the state’s mandate that all children be vaccinated before they can attend school. The bill is still awaiting a vote in the full State Assembly, and gosh darn it, Kristin Olsen, the State Assembly GOP Leader, is worried that California is rushing into passing this bill without thinking things through. In a radio interview last week, Olsen explained that there’s no need to go requiring vaccines just because a bunch of unvaccinated kids led to one teeny-tiny multi-state measles outbreak: Read more on California GOP Lady: Why Cram Vaccines Down Everyone’s Throat Over One Measly Outbreak?…
  Goo Goo Ga Ga Woo Woo

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Let’s Fill Our Veins With Air Bubbles And Try Not To Die

Well howdee, good readers! Welcome back to the Snake Oil Bulletin, the bestest little pseudoscience blog east of the Mississippi. We’re presenting a concentrated, extra pulpy version of the Bulletin this week because your beloved Volpe is moving, which means he is buried so deep in boxes of junk he can’t even locate his dignity (probably packed it away in the USELESS CRAP / DISHTOWELS box), let alone the time to do much of anything. If you’re upset by the shortened length, just think of today’s bulletin as the Homeopathic Edition: so small it just has to be that much more effective! Also it costs $14.95 more. We accept PayPal! Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: Let’s Fill Our Veins With Air Bubbles And Try Not To Die…
  You Got Fetus In My Vaccine!

Pro-Lifers Will Not Have California Putting Dead Babies In All The Vaccines

Abortion Industrial Complex strikes again!
Of the many claims made by anti-vaxxers, we have to admit this one is new to us: A group that opposes both abortion and vaccinations insists that California needs to keep its vaccine exemption for “personal and religious beliefs” because if it doesn’t, then children of good decent Christians will be forced to get injected with aborted baby parts! It’s now something of a moot point, because the California Senate passed the bill Thursday, although it’s still not clear whether Gov. Jerry Brown will sign it. Read more on Pro-Lifers Will Not Have California Putting Dead Babies In All The Vaccines…
  dirty commie socialists

Texas Will Make Sure Your Doctor Knows Where You Got Your Filthy Obamacare

This is what Obamacare insurance cards look like, right?
The Texas House did something gross, because it is the Texas House, try not to faint from surprise. House Bill 1514, approved by a vote of 129 to 8, would require that a special designation — “QHP” — be added to insurance cards for plans purchased through the Affordable Care Act’s online exchanges, just so your doctor knows how gross you are. Originally, the bill included the designation QHP-S, which would have added an extra special “fuck the poors” scarlet letter to the insurance cards of people who qualified for subsidies under Obamacare, but that part was removed from the final bill that passed, which liberal blogs and mainstream newspapers would know if they READ A GODDAMNED BILL ONCE IN A WHILE: Read more on Texas Will Make Sure Your Doctor Knows Where You Got Your Filthy Obamacare…
  It happens to all guys seriously

Ben Carson Prematurely Ejaculates Presidential Announcement

Ben Carson is only doing this because people are BEGGING him to.
Dr. Ben Carson, who is very good at being a neurosurgeon but doesn’t seem to have other strengths, officially announces his candidacy to lose to Hillary Clinton in Detroit today, but whoops, guess he couldn’t keep the “secret” any longer, because he “leaked” the news to WHAM ABC 13 in Rochester on Sunday. In the interview, Carson sleepily says that he is “willing to be part of [that] equation,” presumably the equation required to save America from all the economic growth and healthcare wrought by evil Obama’s reign of terror. Therefore he will run for president! Hurray, is 2016 over yet? Read more on Ben Carson Prematurely Ejaculates Presidential Announcement…