Tag Archives: vaccines

  The striped pajamas really complement that martyr's cross

Snake Oil Bulletin: God Frees Tax-Criming Creationist From Slammer Right On Time, Praise Jesus!

Marriage is fun!
Greetings and consternation, friends! It’s time once again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly round-up of quacks, flim-flammers, and hornswogglers outrunning Johnny Law as best they can. We’ve got some young earth creationists on the Bulletin today, so give a big Jesus-riding-a-dinosaur welcome to Kent Hovind, back from his 9-year stint up the river in Oz. Make sure to see him now, folks, because a catch like this doesn’t stay free long. Read more on Snake Oil Bulletin: God Frees Tax-Criming Creationist From Slammer Right On Time, Praise Jesus!…
  nice time!

University Cancels Dumb Jenny McCarthy Anti-Vaxxer ‘Science’ Class

Suck it, anti-vaxxers
The University of Toronto (allegedly, that’s in Canada, but we’ll double-check with native son Ted Cruz) has been offering budding young boy and girl minds a real neat class about how measles is good for you, vaccines are bad, and plenty of ailments can be cured with some good old-fashioned homeopathic hippie herbal woo-woo voodoo. And quantum mechanics prove it! Sure, why not, other than how that is stupid and wrong and STUPID AND WRONG? The class, “Alternative Health: Practice and Theory,” is taught by homeopath Beth Landau-Halpern, who is married to the university’s dean, probably a total coincidence. Read more on University Cancels Dumb Jenny McCarthy Anti-Vaxxer ‘Science’ Class…
  Won't somebody think of the younglings?

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Anti-Vaxxer Death Squads Will Set Us Free

Welcome back, folks! It’s time again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly guide for all the hottest tips and tricks to feng shui your crystals into an alignment more conducive for your chakral energy surges. Y’know, bullshit. We’ve got a full collection of stories to cover so let’s dive right in. Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: Anti-Vaxxer Death Squads Will Set Us Free…
  dumb and dumberer

Let’s Point And Laugh At Dumb Jim Carrey Twitter-Ranting About Vaccines

California finally passed its vaccine bill, removing most religious and personal belief exemptions for vaccination in public schools (almost as if contagious diseases really don’t care if you don’t “believe” in them). Yay for California! But oh no, what is that sound off in the distance? It sounds like a slow leaking fart bursting through a pair of flannel stretch pants. In Canadian! Read more on Let’s Point And Laugh At Dumb Jim Carrey Twitter-Ranting About Vaccines…
  Not A Rash Decision

California Pries Measles Out Of Anti-Vaxxers’ Cold, Dumb Hands

Are your brains melting yet, Mommy? Are they? Now, about that pony...
Hey, how about some Science Nice Time? California Gov. Jerry Brown signed the state’s new vaccine requirement into law today, over the cries of “Government Oppression!” and “Big Pharma! Big Pharma! Big Pharma!” from anti-vaxxers. The bill eliminates exemptions for personal and religious beliefs, even though many Californians will be sad because their precious unvaccinated disease vectors will not be allowed to attend public schools. Read more on California Pries Measles Out Of Anti-Vaxxers’ Cold, Dumb Hands…
  Anti-Vaxxers Are Easily Spotted

California GOP Lady: Why Cram Vaccines Down Everyone’s Throat Over One Measly Outbreak?

Think about the real victims, will you?
Last month, the California Senate passed SB 277, a bill that got rid of exemptions for “personal and religious beliefs” from the state’s mandate that all children be vaccinated before they can attend school. The bill is still awaiting a vote in the full State Assembly, and gosh darn it, Kristin Olsen, the State Assembly GOP Leader, is worried that California is rushing into passing this bill without thinking things through. In a radio interview last week, Olsen explained that there’s no need to go requiring vaccines just because a bunch of unvaccinated kids led to one teeny-tiny multi-state measles outbreak: Read more on California GOP Lady: Why Cram Vaccines Down Everyone’s Throat Over One Measly Outbreak?…
  Goo Goo Ga Ga Woo Woo

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Let’s Fill Our Veins With Air Bubbles And Try Not To Die

Well howdee, good readers! Welcome back to the Snake Oil Bulletin, the bestest little pseudoscience blog east of the Mississippi. We’re presenting a concentrated, extra pulpy version of the Bulletin this week because your beloved Volpe is moving, which means he is buried so deep in boxes of junk he can’t even locate his dignity (probably packed it away in the USELESS CRAP / DISHTOWELS box), let alone the time to do much of anything. If you’re upset by the shortened length, just think of today’s bulletin as the Homeopathic Edition: so small it just has to be that much more effective! Also it costs $14.95 more. We accept PayPal! Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: Let’s Fill Our Veins With Air Bubbles And Try Not To Die…
  You Got Fetus In My Vaccine!

Pro-Lifers Will Not Have California Putting Dead Babies In All The Vaccines

Abortion Industrial Complex strikes again!
Of the many claims made by anti-vaxxers, we have to admit this one is new to us: A group that opposes both abortion and vaccinations insists that California needs to keep its vaccine exemption for “personal and religious beliefs” because if it doesn’t, then children of good decent Christians will be forced to get injected with aborted baby parts! It’s now something of a moot point, because the California Senate passed the bill Thursday, although it’s still not clear whether Gov. Jerry Brown will sign it. Read more on Pro-Lifers Will Not Have California Putting Dead Babies In All The Vaccines…
  dirty commie socialists

Texas Will Make Sure Your Doctor Knows Where You Got Your Filthy Obamacare

This is what Obamacare insurance cards look like, right?
The Texas House did something gross, because it is the Texas House, try not to faint from surprise. House Bill 1514, approved by a vote of 129 to 8, would require that a special designation — “QHP” — be added to insurance cards for plans purchased through the Affordable Care Act’s online exchanges, just so your doctor knows how gross you are. Originally, the bill included the designation QHP-S, which would have added an extra special “fuck the poors” scarlet letter to the insurance cards of people who qualified for subsidies under Obamacare, but that part was removed from the final bill that passed, which liberal blogs and mainstream newspapers would know if they READ A GODDAMNED BILL ONCE IN A WHILE: Read more on Texas Will Make Sure Your Doctor Knows Where You Got Your Filthy Obamacare…
  It happens to all guys seriously

Ben Carson Prematurely Ejaculates Presidential Announcement

Ben Carson is only doing this because people are BEGGING him to.
Dr. Ben Carson, who is very good at being a neurosurgeon but doesn’t seem to have other strengths, officially announces his candidacy to lose to Hillary Clinton in Detroit today, but whoops, guess he couldn’t keep the “secret” any longer, because he “leaked” the news to WHAM ABC 13 in Rochester on Sunday. In the interview, Carson sleepily says that he is “willing to be part of [that] equation,” presumably the equation required to save America from all the economic growth and healthcare wrought by evil Obama’s reign of terror. Therefore he will run for president! Hurray, is 2016 over yet? Read more on Ben Carson Prematurely Ejaculates Presidential Announcement…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!

Vacation plan: Clean apartment, finish reading that Twain biography. Vacation reality: Booze & MLP fanfic
Oh, Wonkers, we have some beautiful deletia for you this week! Looks to us like some people have really been working overtime in the Derp Mines to bring us this fine assortment of stupidity. For starters, we have this thought-provoking bit of turnabout from “John Smith” (Real name: “Bob Johnson”), who understands that Bobby Jindal just wants to protect Liberty from the homos. Just think about this — would you libs really be so hot on forcing Christians to provide services to gay people if it also meant that gay people would have to serve people with whom they have traditionally been at Culture War? Read more on Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!…
  When you lie upon a star...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: It Sure Is Tough To Know Whether Or Not You’ve Had Brain Cancer

Extree! Extree! Step right up for your weekly dose of flim-flam and phooey, your beloved Snake Oil Bulletin! For today’s edition, we have a few follow-ups to previous stories we’ve covered. So pull up a seat, pour yourself a heaping cup of coffee for your enema, and let’s dive right into today’s selection with the return of Belle Gibson. Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: It Sure Is Tough To Know Whether Or Not You’ve Had Brain Cancer…
  Look! More Science To Ignore!

No, Vaccines Are Not ‘Raping’ Your Children, Says Science

Or not.
Rejoice! A new study shows that even among children who are at a higher risk for autism, getting vaccinated against childhood illnesses isn’t linked to autism. In the face of clear scientific evidence like that, you’ve pretty much got to expect that the anti-vaxxers will now just say, “Oh, man, were we ever wrong!” and quietly go away, possibly borne on a magic carpet carried by flying pigs. Read more on No, Vaccines Are Not ‘Raping’ Your Children, Says Science…
  Here have some news n stuff

President Obama Is Maybe Cool With You Tokin’ Up, For Your ‘Health’

Cataracts, obviously
If the President Barry H. Bamz (D-Choom Gang) thinks medical marijuana might be good for you, who are we to argue? CNN’s chief medical correspondent Sanjay Gupta, a vocal supporter of the legalization of medical marijuana, asks Obama in the documentary [“WEED 3″]if he supports the goals of a historic Senate bill introduced in March that seeks to make several major changes in federal law, including drastically reducing the federal government’s ability to crack down on state-legal medical marijuana programs, encouraging more research into the plant and reclassifying marijuana as a less dangerous drug. Read more on President Obama Is Maybe Cool With You Tokin’ Up, For Your ‘Health’…
  A Pertussive Argument For Vaccinating

It Takes 7 Kids With Whooping Cough To Change 1 Anti-Vaxxer Mom’s Mind

Remember to come back to the kitten if you listen to the video
Seven. The answer is “Seven.” That’s how many of a Canadian mom’s children (out of seven) had to get whooping cough to persuade her that her previous opposition to vaccines was just a wee bit wrong-headed. The good news: All seven responded well to treatment and are now out of isolation. All it took to completely put Tara Hills’s anti-vax beliefs behind her was more than a week of home quarantine with seven children — the youngest just 10 months old — and their dry hacking coughs, sometimes so violent the kids vomited. Let’s hope that just maybe some others may learn from what her family went through, maybe? Read more on It Takes 7 Kids With Whooping Cough To Change 1 Anti-Vaxxer Mom’s Mind…
  Just A Little Prick

Anti-Vaxxers Furious California Might Take Away Their Precious Measles

Oh what fun!
A California state senate committee has passed a bill to deprive anti-vaxxers the FREEDOM! to claim their sincerely held personal beliefs trump the rights of their fellow citizens to not catch the measles. As it currently stands, SB 277 does not include an exemption for religious beliefs, which is only fair when you consider how few churches include an exemption for smallpox-carrying parishioners. The bill’s co-sponsor, state Sen. Richard Pan, is a board-certified doctor, so of course he’s spouting the pro-vaccine lies that Big Pharma wants you to hear. Read more on Anti-Vaxxers Furious California Might Take Away Their Precious Measles…