Tag Archives: uzbekistan

  isn't she lovely?

Gulnara Karimova, Dictator’s Daughter, Getting Dicked Around By Daddy

Gulnara Karimova, favorite daughter of boil-‘em-alive Uzbekistan dictator Islam Karimov, is an interesting girl chock-full of ambition, beauty, and grace! She’s a: pretend fashion designer of child-slave-labor-cotton clothing; pretend partner of Swiss jewelry company Chopard; Read more on Gulnara Karimova, Dictator’s Daughter, Getting Dicked Around By Daddy…
  crimes against nature and music

Gay Men Goo-Goosh All Over Dictator’s Daughter, Unaware They’d Be Imprisoned in Her Country

Our dear old friend Gulnara Karimova and her daddy-o, Uzbekistan’s dictator Islam Karimov, are up to their usual mafiosi behavior, like torturing poets who mock them. But the much-hated (by her own people) multi-careerist continues trying desperately to gain pop stardom in America. She keeps pushing her groovy new not-on-the-cover-of-Billboard album under her daddy’s pet name for her, GooGoosha, to American dance clubs. Unfortunately for her, some of the people GooGooshing all over her (and hopefully all over each other, later) are of the homosexual variety. Read more on Gay Men Goo-Goosh All Over Dictator’s Daughter, Unaware They’d Be Imprisoned in Her Country…
  pop pop pop pop music

Dictator’s Daughter Gulnara Karimova Buying Her Pop-Ularity

Wonkette’s favorite dictator’s daughter, Uzbekistan’s Gulnara Karimova, has been laying low since the embarrassment of her failed New York fashion launch and the online kerfuffle about her relationship with Susan G. Komen’s Race for the Cure. It looks like fashion gets all messy when you use slaves to pick your cotton, and philanthropy as a self-promotion strategy didn’t work out very well for her either. But, if you have lots of dictatory money, you can buy yourself pop stardom or a good facsimile! Read more on Dictator’s Daughter Gulnara Karimova Buying Her Pop-Ularity…
  in like a lion out like a lamm

Susan G. Komen and The Dictator’s Daughter Had A Lovely Cure For The Race

We were all waiting with bated breath to see how things went for Susan G. Komen and their best bud Gulnara Karimova, the Dictator’s daughter and the Terror of Tashkent, in the May 1 Race for the Cure in Uzbekibekistanstan. Well, according to Gulnara’s press release, the race was a huge success, attracting 20,000 people. And the International Race Ambassador of Susan G. Komen for the Cure, Donna Sanderson, was In Tashkent on May 1, personally handing out awards. Gulnara was there too, handing out awards. Did they hand out awards at the same time? On the same stage? And did they pretend not to know each other? We simply don’t know. But you know who else is pretending he doesn’t know the Dictator’s Daughter and her Daddy (the Dictator)? One Barack Hussein Obama, that’s who. Read more on Susan G. Komen and The Dictator’s Daughter Had A Lovely Cure For The Race…
  cure for the race

Susan G. Komen Parboils The Truth With Dictator’s Daughter Denials

The Susan G. Komen Foundation tried desperately to distance itself yesterday from the slight to-do that erupted after they partnered with Gulnara Karimova, the Dictator’s Daughter. How’d that go? Pfhhht. Komen wrote on its blog and told Registan’s Nathan Hamm that “their agreement is with, and only with, the National Breast Cancer Association of Uzbekistan” — not Gulnara’s Fund Forum — and that “the bottom line for them is to help fight breast cancer, that they will support international partners who meet their standards.” From Registan: The Komen representative with whom I spoke suggested the organization had no knowledge of links to Gulnora Karimova and insisted that their partnership was not with her Fund Forum. Not that terrible Karimova, the ‘most hated woman in Uzbekistan’ according to wikileaked US State Department cables, and a woman who had people imprisoned because their family members wouldn’t date her. No, no, not her at all! But how could you describe the relationship of their statements to the concept known as “truth”? Like they are boiling the truth in water, maybe? Or maybe just renditioning it? (Just a few stress positions, no torn off fingernails or genital electrocution. Oh wait, yes there are.) Read more on Susan G. Komen Parboils The Truth With Dictator’s Daughter Denials…
  daddy's little princess

The Life And Loves Of Susan G. Komen’s Newest Bosom Buddy, Gulnara Karimova

In case you were worried that we were a bit harsh with our love letter to Susan G. Komen Foundation’s newest bosom buddy and budding dictatoresse Gulnara Karimov — the ‘most hated woman in Uzbekistan’! — we decided to dig more deeply for horror comedy gold double-check our work and find out if our girl was just an innocent flower child, creator of fine clothing, weaver of shimmery cloth by completely voluntary and highly paid cherubic slave children or (after the children die) tiny mice and bird conscripts, fabricatrice of gossimer Eurotrash fashions for all the ugly sisters in the world to wear… …or if she’s just a blood-sucking Gorgon. We will report; you will decide! Read more on The Life And Loves Of Susan G. Komen’s Newest Bosom Buddy, Gulnara Karimova…
  all that and a bag of dicks

Susan G. Komen Foundation In Hot Sexy Hook-Up With Dictator’s Daughter

The Susan G. Komen Foundation has been so busy trying to abort their corporate image and stem the (menstrual) flow of their profits, they may have forgotten to do the proper amount of VETTENING of their spanking new breast-saving partner for the Susan G. Komen Uzbekibekibekistan Race for the Cure, a certain delightful dicatator’s daughter named Gulnara Karimova. But hey, when everyone else hates you, you might as well shack up with the woman referred to in wikileaked US Embassy cables as ‘the most hated woman in rampantly corrupt Uzbekistan.’ One cable describes Miss Karimova and reads: ‘Most Uzbeks see Karimova as a greedy, power-hungry individual who uses her father to crush business people or anyone else who stands in her way … She remains the single most hated person in the country.’ So, let’s learn more about the lovely Gulnara, shall we? Here are her strongest assets: Daughter of a Dictator, whose government regularly forcibly sterilizes its citizens and whose “government engages in routine torture of citizens and has subjected dissenters to forced psychiatric treatment”; creator of many, many ‘questionable’ charities; forcer of child labor for her fashion line; and… a generous giver of circumcisions! Goodness, all of that seems somehow much more troubling than providing health services to poor women! But we’re sure we’re wrong. Read more on Susan G. Komen Foundation In Hot Sexy Hook-Up With Dictator’s Daughter…
  churchill he is not

Ask Herman Cain a Foreign Policy Question And He’ll Respond In Tongues

Pizza shill vanity campaigner Herman Cain has inexplicably not yet exhausted his six seconds of GOP presidential field relevancy, so we must listen to him doing this thing… speaking in tongues here, in an interview, in a dark cave? “UBEKI BEKI BEKI BEKI BAH BAH STAN O BAN STAN SO WHUT WHUT,” he says. Hm, maybe it’s a sex magick spell, against Mitt Romney’s Moon Jesus? No, it’s some kind of teatard gibberish about how the country formerly called “Uzbekistan” is lame, because Herman Cain is a proudly illiterate fop when it comes to foreign policy issues and from now on anyone asking him Gotcha Questions™ (please make your twenty-three cent royalty check payable to Sarah Palin) about “the other countries on earth” will be harangued with a series of nonsense syllables for their trouble.  Read more on Ask Herman Cain a Foreign Policy Question And He’ll Respond In Tongues…
  rumors on the internets

Not Red States Or Blue States But Former Soviet States

ROBOT Magazine February centerfold Nate Silver has predicted that Slumdog Millionare will be the new senator from Minnesota. [Andrew Sullivan] Republicans are telling slanderous lies about Nevadan God of Impotence Harry Reid’s high-speed casino-to-Hollywood ambitions. [Matthew Yglesias] Read more on Not Red States Or Blue States But Former Soviet States…