Maybe that guy with the hockey mask will give us a ride.
What has a bad looking face and MIGHT be a hypocrite? Ding ding ding, it's Jason Chaffetz!
If nobody admits writing it, nobody can be held responsible for it.
Beautiful vistas, like doctor visits, are for people who can afford them.
More wild speculation into Chaffetz's abrupt departure!
Jason Chaffetz is being offensive again, and we aren't even talking about his face!
He is sorry if you are offended by this, you weirdo who hates freedom.
Now he wants criminal charges against the IT guy who set up Hillary's server, because why not?
Hey, know who ELSE rounded up lots of people?
You are all jealous! Jason Chaffetz looks good!
Couldn't have happened to a slimier bastard.
Is Kellyanne Conway's Bill-Clinton-suing husband going to be the next solicitor general? Gee, that would be greeeeat. Your morning news brief!
Porn companies step into the breach to teach Utahns sex stuff.
We're not crying; YOU'RE crying.
Dickhole Smegma-Face Jason Chaffetz Needs A Manners Lesson, And Wonkette Is Just The Blog To Give It To Him
Come and listen to our gentle murmurs.
We need all the help we can get to stop Trump, y'all. Let's not be total dicks!