Wonkette

Hey look, it’s one of those days with a guest editor, because the real editor is doing something else! Wonkette’s comic book and foreign affairs correspondent Josh Fruhlinger will be filling in for Ken Layne today. Anything could happen!

A heroic undercover investigation spent weeks determining that “contractors” working for the U.S. government were engaged in systematic mistreatment of detainees. These cruel monsters tormented their captives — many of whom were old and sick — in the name of helping American children. When the shocking video of the torment was released, though, swift government action brought the the un-American practices to an end. At last, there’s justice — for cows! MORE »

The Post, following up on last year’s lengthy Pulitzer-bait series “Fuck Farmers”, today tells us the story of rich dead farmers who still rake it in. [WP]

* Some of America’s richest assholes heard President Bush mention “income inequality” for the first time, ever. [WP]
* Most farmers missed the speech, however; as they were too busy yelling at the crew of immigrants who act like they’ve never polished a gold toilet seat before. [WP, NYT]
* High-living funnyman Matt Cooper confirmed what he knew about Valerie Plame from Scooter on the way back from the Country Club. [WP, LAT]
* Joe Biden trips over his sword, impales himself on a blade of blather. [WP, NYT]
* Alberto Gonzalez will, grudgingly, share his secret court order toys. [WP, NYT]
* At least there’ll be a change of scenery - next war for energy security likely in Brazil, “the Saudi Arabia of ethanol.” [WSJ]
* Mary Cheney’s baby is not a propaganda tool — she told an audience of media people gathered for a magazine event in Manhattan. [NYT]

For the last glorious five years, the percentage of hungry Americans has been steadily on the rise: 12% of this country’s population went without food at some point in the previous year, according to the USDA. That’s 36 million people, or the same number of people who live in California, the most populous state. MORE »

• Israel will continue to bomb Lebanon for another week or two; then the US will send in Condoleezza Rice. Meanwhile, as a debate continues over Israel’s use of possibly “disproportionate” force, hundreds of Americans were evacuated from Beirut. [NYT, NYT, WP]

• Bush’s seeming inability or unwillingness to handle North Korea and Iran with the same swagger that met foreign threats of his first term has angered conservative intellectuals and pundits. [WP]
• The USDA somehow ended up in a crooked powdered-milk racket. [WP]
• Stem cell research has slowed over the last few years, and the bill passed by the Senate yesterday would help reverse that trend — if not for Bush’s expected veto, which congress is not expected to overturn. [NYT, WP]
• In what some critics call “a politically motivated interference in Justice Department affairs,” President Bush blocked the DoJ’s own internal affairs office from investigating the NSA wiretapping program. [WP]
• The Senate unanimously passed a resolution endorsing Israel’s bombing campaign against Lebanon yesterday. [WP]
• President Bush will address the NAACP at its national convention. [WP]
• A House hearing on immigration reform devolved into sniping at the Senate and the president. [NYT]

• Top Republicans and Democrats express reservations about the expected nomination of Gen. Michael Hayden to replace Porter Goss at the CIA; “Bush is politically at his weakest and members of his party are distancing themselves from the White House in the hopes of retaining their grip on Congress in the midterm elections.” Rep. Peter Hoekstra (R-Mich.): “We should not have a military person leading a civilian agency at this time.” [WP, NYT, WSJ, NYT, USAT, USAT]
• Patrick Fitzgerald “is weighing Rove’s foggy-memory defense against evidence he has acquired or accumulated over nearly 2 1/2 years that shows Rove was very involved in White House efforts to beat back allegations that Bush twisted U.S. intelligence to justify the Iraq war”; decision on an indictment could come this month. [WP]
• Fear of losing seats in November is Rove’s “best weapon” for “motivating his party’s conservative base to turn out”; officials are “trying to turn vulnerability to advantage” and are “telling fellow Republicans that criticizing the president risks bringing the party down with him.” [NYT]
• Bush may close Gitmo prison: “I would like to close the camp and put the prisoners on trial. [The Supreme Court] must still rule on whether they should go before a civil or military court. They will get their day in court. One can’t say that of the people that they killed.” [NYT]
• Sen. Frist seeks to start partisan confrontation over judicial nominations. Sen. Thune: “A good fight on judges does nothing but energize our base. Right now our folks are feeling a little flat. They need a reason to get engaged, and fights over judges will do that.” [NYT]

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The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service wants you to do your part to help stop the Bird Flu! They want your help so bad, in fact, that they’ve unveiled a web-based campaign designed to convince you that keeping your birds alive is in your best interest! MORE »