As you made your New Year’s Resolution this (last?) year, did you take into account what THE LORD OUR GOD may have wanted you to decide? Oh you did? Well you were probably wrong. Because Pat Robertson spoke directly to God and got the old man’s resolution, as he informed viewers on his teevee program today. In case you forgot to TiVo it, God’s plan is simple and generous (you know God!): He’s “going to give us China.” MORE »

China, the world’s largest frat house, is continuing to try and kill and/or rape our innocent and nubile children. U.S. safety officials have recalled 4.2 million Aqua Dot bead toys, the gateway drug-toy to anal beads. MORE »

So, that tension between Bush and Putin? It’s over chicken. Putin’s pissed off because Bush only sends him bad chicken. Frank Purdue Bush is not. MORE »