Wonkette

Two months back Wonkette solicited and then posted the worst and meanest rumors about Labor Secretary Elaine Chao. That could have been the end of it, but once you’ve put out a call for catty comments, the catty comments will find you. Beneath the fold is the latest entry in the slam book - and if this was going into an actual book, it would take up a couple pages.

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Castro doesn’t seem to be dead. MORE »

Anyone who works at the State Deparment want to confirm the anonymous rumor we just heard that everyone’s freaking the fuck out re. the unverified death of Fidel Castro? MORE »

• Under no circumstances, in this world or another, has Joe Biden ever been, “brown and down.” [Love and Haterade]

• A glass of water, the right size buns, and a little time for digestion would be all it takes to “liquidate” the North Korean nuclear program. [SFGate]
• Vladimir Putin touches young boys, “like a kitten,” but the question remains: hot or not? [Things That Make You Go "Hmm"]
• He may touch children with the soft pad of his paw, but the economies of the European Union will feel the full power of his one-dimensional petrochemical based economic leverage, er, claw. [Andrew Sullivan]
  Accusations of plagiarism faced by Ann Coulter may go unsubstantiated as man hired to find proof is afraid to, “make my eyes bleed.” [Galley Cat]

• The sandy beaches are calling you Justice Stevens - heed them, please. [Southern Appeal]
• Easy-E rolls over in his grave as gangs resort to blogging their threats: “Your page views ain’t shit bitch, you gettin’ blasted.” [Wired]

Everybody loves Condi, and everybody wants new Condiproduct delivered daily, so what’s a newspaper to do when she’s gone (or boring) for a few days and no fresh photo-ops or breaking vague quotes are available? Well, if you’re Glenn Kessler at the Washington Post, you simply cut up all the past profiles, throw them up in the air and paste them where they land to create the stunningly pointless new puff-piece which ran yesterday. Yes, yes, she controls her image with unprecedented tightness, she gets greeted by celebrities at foreign airports, she’s a bit of a clothes-horse, people want her to run for President, she’s the anti-Hillary… WE GET IT! Please, Madame Secretary, Doctor Ferragamo, we’re begging you: tease out your hair, slap on some hot-pants, dance on a tabletop and give ‘em something new to write about. Is it any wonder some people forego the ennui and simply make shit up? MORE »

* Don’t fret, we wouldn’t let an idle summer week pass without a shallow poll. Thus, we proudly present: The Hill Intern Hotties competition. Since everyone already knows how this works, we’ll just let you speed along - boys’ poll here and girls’ poll here. In case you’re one of those “readers,” we’ve also got written testimonials for all the pretty girls and all the strong men. MORE »

As we’ve previously stated, we don’t put much stock in the rumors of an affair between President Bush and Condoleezza Rice — an affair that supposedly led a furious Laura Bush to decamp from the White House for the Mayflower Hotel. We have our doubts, largely because of the Condi part. C’mon, guys — Condi???

Right now, the Bushes are traveling in Europe. George and Laura Bush have made several public appearances together, and nothing seems amiss. In a question-and-answer session in Vienna, Laura revealed that George brings her coffee in bed each morning. This doesn’t seem like the behavior of a cheater.

Nevertheless, the Dubya-Condi rumors persist — and now they’ve been picked up by the tabloids. After the jump, for those of you who don’t share our skepticism, we recount — but don’t vouch for — the latest Bush-Condi gossip.

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* In defiance of the best interests of both the Democratic party and summer weekend motorists, Jack Murtha chooses Friday afternoon to declare his intention to run for majority leader, with the notion that Democrats will actually win some midterm elections and retake the House. “Jacky Drama” and “First Degree Murtha” expected to be to most popular nicknames. MORE »

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, assuming the position. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert, via Princess Sparkle Pony)

We’ve been trying to take the high road around here. Over the past few days, we’ve refrained from writing about rumors of an alleged affair between Dubya and Condi, which supposedly caused Laura Bush to move out of the White House. We’ll willing to believe almost anything around here — but this gossip strikes us as a tad ridiculous.

As in the case of the Martin Random rumors, however, a flood of reader emails has forced our hand. We will now blog about the aforementioned crazy talk, just to stem the tide of tips about it.

Check out the dirt, after the jump.

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Perhaps in response to the compelling results of a recent Wonkette poll, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) said this to the New York Times:

“I hear them say on TV that I’ve had face-lifts,” said Ms. Pelosi, 66, who added that she had never had one. “I heard one woman say I’ve had a face-lift, but it looks terrible.”

She shook her head and said, “Did you ever think that those two things cancel themselves out?”

Uh, not really. Why isn’t it possible that you had some awful plastic surgery? It does happen, you know.

Also, note her careful wording: no facelifts. But we asked about an eyelid lift.

Additional commentary, including a post-surgery sighting of Pelosi, after the jump.

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