united nations

Oh, Megyn Kelly! Don’t ever change, OK? Here is Megyn Kelly on Fox “News,” informing us that there may be an “extra set of eyes” on election day and those eyes may belong to the United Nations. Note the contempt with which she says “United Nations,” by the way, she might as well have been […]

Cartoon Romney sidekick Jennifer Rubin has determined, thanks to a Romney ad she saw, that Barack Obama did so apologize for America over and over and over again to the point that nobody is even sure if he was actually president or just some hip-hop artist obsessed with apologizing. What sorts of apologies did Barack […]

Oh, man, Allen West gave us one helluva knee-slapper yesterday. The president addressed the United Nations, so logically West had to address Facebook. And he decided to give us a treat! Not only did he offer some commentary on the speech, but he also did a rip-roaring impression of himself that is such a good […]

Here is the thing about tax increases: they are bad! No matter what! PERIOD END OF STORY. Except, of course, if they fund a paramilitary to create an insurrection and rebellion in the United States, in which case they are GOOD. An armed insurrection might come in handy down in Lubbock, Texas, if Obama reelected. […]

Is there anything Texas likes more than killing people? Anything? Jesus, maybe, but he’s somehow their best excuse to do everything awful, including killing people, so let’s just say Texas likes killing people A LOT and get on with the facts of the case of Yokamon Hearn, who was unceremoniously put to sleep Wednesday over […]

The UN is not doing its job right, jobs are becoming more neurotic, and Chinese bureaucrats are apparently the James Bonds of the East. Plus, it’s my last day! Rio+20 is not doing well and it’s making the United Nations look bad because more people are dying from pollution and impure water than climate change. […]

Robert Mugabe, yes, that one, the continued monomaniacal leader and premier “land reformer” of Zimbabwe, has a new job! In addition to the old job! Because he is getting bored with reforming land and “winning” elections and having lots of friends do things for him with guns pointed at their heads and wads of worthless […]

Contrary to what weekend marathons of “Lockup: RAW!” would have you believe, prison is not just a hep and happenin’ place to meet the future same-sex lover you will eventually abandon once your bid is up. It is, in fact, a rather unpleasant place to spend one’s time, scientician research has shown, especially when all […]

The Republican swath of the Tennessee House appears to have gotten an email chain letter from far-right crazy uncle the John Birch Society (desperate times), and the Tennessee House has heeded its call! Seems the New World Order managed to pass a truly insidious United Nations plan called Agenda 21 (it just sounds communist, wouldn’t […]

New York City cops arrested eight protesters dressed in Robin Hood garb during a joint OWS-World Aids Day march demanding a Financial Transaction Tax on Wall Street to help restore the $10 million in HIV/AIDS services funding that Michael “I eat ground up poor people for breakfast” Bloomberg cut last year, but it wasn’t the […]

Crusty paranoid sad sack Chuck Norris has uncovered evidence that the United Nations is actively plotting to break into his anger cave and boost his vast library of murder weapons (haha, get it?) in the form of Swedish artist Carl Fredrick Reutersward’s anti-violence sculpture of a .38 pistol tied in a knot, which is located at […]

OMG, you guys, Glenn Beck loves the nation-state so much. It is his favorite kind of world order. But according to his latest airtight theory, the United Nations, Wisconsin protestors, and Muslim Brotherhood are all in communication with each other about overthrowing the nature of international governance by making a single, Marxist, Islamist world government […]

Have you heard about the impending invasion of the Space Devils? Whether it’s another discovery of a new “earthlike” planet filled with thousand-foot-tall rape monsters or the latest MSNBC documentary about the night demons who arrive all the time in UFOs as foretold in the Bible, it seems we just can’t escape the fact that […]

Today House Republicans will unveil their new dumb list of terrible threats, a “Pledge to America.” What are these terrorists asking for, and how many bald eagles will they execute if their demands are unmet? Oh, they want to permanently extend Bush’s tax cuts for bazillionaires, cancel Stimulus spending, repeal Obamacare, and keep Gitmo open […]

Sharron Angle was forced to speak words yesterday, as she has yet to come up with the brilliant idea to have her campaign say she has a throat infection that makes her mute for the next few months. “The United Nations resides on our soil and costs us money. We are — I don’t see […]