Tag: united nations

This friggin' guy

President Of Earth Donald J. Trump To America’s NATO Allies: Drop Dead

Donald Trump has some new ideas about the U.S. commitment to the NATO alliance. They are ridiculous, frightening thoughts.
Wipers of other people's bottoms!

Philippines Wins World Court Case Over South China Sea Islands, China Responds, ‘Sez Who?’

So, what are the Foreigns up to this morning, aside from getting exercise outside by catching all the Pokémons? Oh, just defying international court decisions like a common George W. Bush, OK, fine, wait, what? Turns out that earlier today...

North Korea Knows A Sexy Tyrant Daddy When It Sees One, Gets It Up For Donald Trump

North Korea likes that sexy tyrant daddy Donald Trump
The crazy candidate lady Mary Lou is on the left, next to Ted Cruz's insane father.

Now Texas Schoolkids Will NEVER Learn What A Coked-Up Gay Whore Obama Is, Unfair!

Crazy lady Mary Lou Bruner loses her Texas state school board runoff. Now the kids will never learn THE REAL TRUTH.
Everybody must get stoned

Sexxxy Richard Branson Says UN Should Drop Drug Policy Of ‘Keep Hitting Yourself’

Richard Branson, famous rich person and repository of some of the world's remaining sexxxiness reserves since the passing of Prince (PBUH), is so MAD, you guys, about the latest United Nations Drug Policy Agreement that just came out. Branson, the billionaire...
Where is your Godzilla now?

Michele Bachmann Not About To Let Obama Become Antichrist At The United Nations, No Way

Former Congresspastor Michele Bachmann has been playing the ol' "The Bible Is A Roadmap For History" game again, and she has some pretty fascinating predictions about what's going to happen in the Middle East any day now, as we...
Don't tell Sarah Palin they weren't really made out of plastic.

What’s Long And Hard And Screws People Over? U.S. Refugee Policy! A Wonksplainer

Running from war and carnage, leaving everything behind, and literally fleeing for your life sounds pretty awful. But America has a long tradition of making life awfuller for refugees seeking some measure of safety and security. Break out your...
Maybe the demon sheep did it

Carly Fiorina Says All The Stupid On Climate Change And Then Some

That lady Republican in pink, Carly Fiorina, is enjoying her 15 minutes, so she's working overtime to barf out as much conservative stupid as she can before her time is up. Look, here she is talking stuff about climate...
Like so many movies, most of Jones's ideas are bad adaptations of science fiction

Alex Jones: I’m No Homophobe, It’s Just That UN Is Using Gays To Kill Off Humanity

One-man conspiracy theory clearinghouse Alex Jones wants you to know that he doesn't care what you people are doing in your bedrooms. He thinks that all the foofaraw over same-sex marriage is a mere distraction from the real threats...
Editrix can have Old Handsome Joe Biden, we like Sexy Obama.

Barack Obama’s Terrible, Horrible, Badass, Balls Out Rager Of A Week

Oh look at the White House all BRAGGIN' and shit. That Nice Time video above was provided to yr Wonkette (and by "provided," we mean we went to the White House website and copied the embed code) as a...
Is Louie Gohmert a Ferengi? We're only asking!

Don’t Accuse Louie Gohmert Of Callin’ Obama A Terrorist, ‘Twas An Innocent Question

This one seems a little out there, even for the mighty mental power that is Texas congresstoad Louie Gohmert: In a floor speech in the House of Representatives, Gohmert wanted to ask -- just ask, mind you -- whether...
Somewhere somehow somebody must have kicked him around some. Maybe in the head.

Rand Paul: Why Help Iraqi Refugees? We Won, So Suck It, Losers.

Libertarian Superstar Rand Paul brought his trademark "Every issue must be discussed like a 2 AM bull session in the Objectivist Dorm" sensibilities to the issue of resettling Iraqi refugees, explaining that we don't need to help those people,...
P.S. They ARE crackpots

Hero Gov. Greg Abbott Will Stop Obama From Doing Martial Law And ISIS To Poor Texans

If you are a fear-addled conspiracy theory-loving wingnut reading this, you already KNOW what we are about to say. Terrible demonic false flag Indo-Kenyan "President" Barack Obama is preparing AT THIS VERY MOMENT to impose martial law on Texas,...
Is he even Catholic?

Koch Brothers Explain Bible To Pope. Thanks, Koch Brothers!

While most of the world is trying to figure out what to do about this whole climate change thing before it's too late and we are all OOPS! dead, the concerned citizens at the completely objective Heartland Institute, which...

It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Reminisce About The Week That Was!

Hola, Wonkerados! How is your Easter Sunday going? Ours is very nice! Won't you sit and have some internet brunch with us, so we can reminisce about all the lovely things that happened during the week? It wasn't all...
President In Name Only

Republicans Tire Of Telling Americans Obama Isn’t Really President, Decide To Inform The U.N. Instead

So this is how the Republican Party is going to proceed until they finally repeal President Obama from the White House: The Obama administration's plan for U.N. climate change talks encountered swift opposition after its release Tuesday, with Republican leaders warning...