Wonkette

That gal with the lipstick is going to meet with Important World Leaders at the UN today, so naturally the McCain campaign did not want any reporters anywhere near that disaster. They said, “OK all you press organizations can get together and decide on ONE cameraperson to record the beginning of these meetings, before Sarah says something awkward about Hamid Karzai’s hat, but there will be no reporters to ask questions.” And for the first time in the history of ever, the press collectively told McCain to cram it. And then they took it back. MORE »

Well looky here at who’s getting too big for her lipsticks! It’s the most presumptuous celebrity in the world, Alaskan teleprompter fraud Sarah Palin. She’ll be meeting with various foreign dignitaries at the U.N. next week in order to show dubious Americans that she can, uh, sit down for crab cakes and fizzy water with the Sultan of Dubai. We are pretty sure this is tantamount to treason, meeting with all these people who can’t even vote in America. How nauseating to see somebody showboating around all glamorous-like with international superstars when there’s real work to do at home in the Real America (not New York). COUNTRY FIRST, PALIN. [Washington Wire]

United Nation Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon has named famous starlet George Clooney as the social club’s ninth Messenger of Peace, because of his work doing something vaguely good for planet earth. Early reports indicate it was his phenomenal work in the film Ocean’s Thirteen that sealed the deal for Secretary-General Bat Shit-moon. MORE »

Colin Powell was right, motherfuckers, no matter how much he says he lied. When he told the United Nations that he totally knew for sure there were Weapons of Mass Destruction, his sole error was in claiming those evil weapons were in Iraq, when they were actually in the UN headquarters itself, only to be found by a cleaning crew four-and-a-half years later. MORE »

• A U.N.-brokered Israel-Hezbollah cease-fire went into effect this morning, yet few believe that the cessation of hostilities will last. [NYT, WP] MORE »

• As Homeland Security Advisor Frances Townsend urged Americans to remain calm and feel free to fly, British and American officials described the year-long probe that led to the arrest of two dozen alleged terrorists in Great Britain. [WP, AP]

• Liquid explosives: easy to make, more effective than dynamite, and impossible to screen for. [WP, NYT]
• Republicans, Democrats, and Joe Lieberman all claim terror helps their campaigns. [NYT, WP]
• Illegal immigration hasn’t hurt the US job market, a study finds. [WP]
• The UN is debating again an end to the month-long Israeli-Lebanese-Hezbollah war. US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is heading to New York. [BBC]
• Elsewhere at the UN: “Feminists are trying to use the United Nations to impose a radical agenda — including legalized prostitution.” [WT]

In the words of our tipster: “This is the look that comes over your face when you’re staring at the two people you hate most.” MORE »

• Bush was intent on invading Iraq in January, 2003, even with the knowledge that Saddam Hussein had no unconventional weapons. “Extremely sensitive” memo summarizing meeting with Tony Blair shows both leaders believed victory would come quickly and ethnic strife was “unlikely.” Bush contemplated assassinating Hussein or painting a U.S. “surveillance plane in the colors of the United Nations in hopes of drawing fire.” Chief advisor to Blair: “Our diplomatic strategy had to be arranged around the military planning.” [NYT]
• The public is losing confidence in the war and lawmakers that supported it; experts believe “this might mark a turning point in public perception.” [NYT]
• Large rallies support immigrants as lawmakers confront legislation aimed at curbing illegal immigrants. [NYT, USAT, WT]
• Pressure is on to make full disclosure of dealings with lobbyists; proposals demand accountability. [WP]
• Hillary is following Bush’s 1998 campaign strategy for her reelection. [NYT]
• Laura Bush churns through staff at a faster clip than her husband. [NYT]
• Former Virginia Gov. Mark Warner is distributing PAC funds to candidates in key ‘08 states. [WT]

MORE »

An exit strategy for Iraq? Um, still working on that, check back later. But we may have one for the U.N.! MORE »