united nations
U.N. Actually Responsible For Something Terrible: Black Helicopters Were Full Of Cholera The Whole Time
Almost 650,000 Haitians have contracted cholera since a giant earthquake struck the island in 2010. This is kind of a weird thing to have happened, since cholera is caused by a bacterium called Vibrio cholerae and not by being shaken around a lot and watching your house fall down. Cholera wasn’t a widespread problem in [...]
Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Book That’s Ready For Apocalypse, Now
Well, time tourists, we have made it to our final visit to our 10th grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. This post will be a bit longish, because there’s a whole lot of crazy to cover between the fall of the USSR and the end of the world, but we [...]
Hero Texas A.G. Won’t Let Foreigns Sap & Impurify His Precious Voterly Fluids
Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott doesn’t hold with having his state’s elections tampered with. He simply will not have it! And so, in a perfectly reasonable move that is not the least bit dickish or calculated to pander to constituents’ raging xenophobia, he has sent a strongly-worded letter to the Organization for Security and Cooperation [...]
Megyn Kelly Simply Does Not Care For Those Black Helicopters Coming To Spy On Our Elections
Oh, Megyn Kelly! Don’t ever change, OK? Here is Megyn Kelly on Fox “News,” informing us that there may be an “extra set of eyes” on election day and those eyes may belong to the United Nations. Note the contempt with which she says “United Nations,” by the way, she might as well have been [...]
Allen West Does Hilarious Allen West Impression, Will Murder U.N. With Bald Eagle Of Death
Oh, man, Allen West gave us one helluva knee-slapper yesterday. The president addressed the United Nations, so logically West had to address Facebook. And he decided to give us a treat! Not only did he offer some commentary on the speech, but he also did a rip-roaring impression of himself that is such a good [...]
Lubbock County Still Going on About the U.N. and Armed Insurrection
Here is the thing about tax increases: they are bad! No matter what! PERIOD END OF STORY. Except, of course, if they fund a paramilitary to create an insurrection and rebellion in the United States, in which case they are GOOD. An armed insurrection might come in handy down in Lubbock, Texas, if Obama reelected. [...]
Texas Ignores U.N., Executes Mentally Challenged Man It Wanted Dead So, So Bad
Is there anything Texas likes more than killing people? Anything? Jesus, maybe, but he’s somehow their best excuse to do everything awful, including killing people, so let’s just say Texas likes killing people A LOT and get on with the facts of the case of Yokamon Hearn, who was unceremoniously put to sleep Wednesday over [...]
The United Nations Needs James Bond To Save The Day
The UN is not doing its job right, jobs are becoming more neurotic, and Chinese bureaucrats are apparently the James Bonds of the East. Plus, it’s my last day! Rio+20 is not doing well and it’s making the United Nations look bad because more people are dying from pollution and impure water than climate change. [...]
Robert Mugabe, Beacon Of Hope, Appointed Tourism Ambassador By U.N.
Robert Mugabe, yes, that one, the continued monomaniacal leader and premier “land reformer” of Zimbabwe, has a new job! In addition to the old job! Because he is getting bored with reforming land and “winning” elections and having lots of friends do things for him with guns pointed at their heads and wads of worthless [...]
Congratulations, Everyone: America Now A Country That Requires ‘UN Monitoring’ To Function
Contrary to what weekend marathons of “Lockup: RAW!” would have you believe, prison is not just a hep and happenin’ place to meet the future same-sex lover you will eventually abandon once your bid is up. It is, in fact, a rather unpleasant place to spend one’s time, scientician research has shown, especially when all [...]
Tennessee House Fights 20-Year-Old UN ‘Sustainability’ Plan, Because ‘Forced Abortion’
The Republican swath of the Tennessee House appears to have gotten an email chain letter from far-right crazy uncle the John Birch Society (desperate times), and the Tennessee House has heeded its call! Seems the New World Order managed to pass a truly insidious United Nations plan called Agenda 21 (it just sounds communist, wouldn’t [...]
Jackass NYPD Pigs Throw Protesters In Jail And Eat All Their Food
New York City cops arrested eight protesters dressed in Robin Hood garb during a joint OWS-World Aids Day march demanding a Financial Transaction Tax on Wall Street to help restore the $10 million in HIV/AIDS services funding that Michael “I eat ground up poor people for breakfast” Bloomberg cut last year, but it wasn’t the [...]
Chuck Norris Discovers UN Plot to Steal His Pistols Inside Gun Statue
Crusty paranoid sad sack Chuck Norris has uncovered evidence that the United Nations is actively plotting to break into his anger cave and boost his vast library of murder weapons (haha, get it?) in the form of Swedish artist Carl Fredrick Reutersward’s anti-violence sculpture of a .38 pistol tied in a knot, which is located at [...]
Glenn Beck: Wisconsin Unions Want a UN Caliphate, Or Something
OMG, you guys, Glenn Beck loves the nation-state so much. It is his favorite kind of world order. But according to his latest airtight theory, the United Nations, Wisconsin protestors, and Muslim Brotherhood are all in communication with each other about overthrowing the nature of international governance by making a single, Marxist, Islamist world government [...]
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