The DC police are putting together a book with the 60 most notorious youth offenders so that people in-the-know will be kept abreast of these kids in the rosy-fingered dawn of their careers or something. It too has tenuous privacy implications, just like actual Facebook. [Washington Post] MORE »

First the riots, now the fires. Thanks a lot, Obama! Wonkette operative “Patrick W.” reports, “I guess there’s a fire inside union station RIGHT NOW, probably set by retreating tourist mobs. But don’t worry, it’s probably only garbage, that they disposed of in piles on the ground. Either that or the riots in SW have migrated very fast.” MORE »

Washington D.C. is a riot zone today, as Code Pink lefty protesters and various other George Washington and Georgetown University douchebags are protesting the Iraq War. On its birthday, of all times! We’ll be checking out some of these fun, artful protests later today, but feel free to send us any wonderful operative pix you take on your own! Otherwise, enjoy this video of Code Pink’s anti-war “freeze-in” at Union Station yesterday afternoon. It will take a nation of simulated mannequins to stop this war. [YouTube via Nikolas Schiller]

“Not sure if you’ve already gotten this, but Showtime, in order to promote the show Dexter has set up a nightmarish fountain of blood near the escalator from the Union Station metro. It’s rather unclear what the point is, since when I was there they had no sign and I had to go over and ask. They insisted that it wasn’t full of blood, just red water to promote Showtime’s signature color. When I asked again if it was blood, they responded, ‘I’m saying no, but I’m nodding yes.’ Then they gave me some hand sanitizer. Creepy.” [Thanks, Wonkette Operative!]

“7-1/2 Reasons Not to Have Sex in Union Station’s Bathrooms.” [Washington City Paper]

“What Larry Craig should do the next time he wants to do Sudoku is pick someone up in the McDonald’s in Union Station and THEN proceed to the bathrooms. Apparently this is how the pros avoid the entrapping cops b/c my twink-ish looking friend has been hit on in such a manner (he’s straight) by older business suit-wearing gentlemen.”

Yes yes yes we read the long article about how Larry Craig fucked the dude in Union Station. Thing is, we knew this last year! Everyone did! But still, here are the funny bits: MORE »

The Union Station/National Postal Museum terror mystery has been solved! Hooray for the War On Terror!

A foul-smelling package led to Thursday’s evacuation of a post office next to the Smithsonian’s National Postal Museum.

So what did the package contain? Two cans of spinach and a dirty diaper.

There you go, Islamo-Fascists: If you want to bring down the capital of the United States, don’t waste your time with dirty bombs and hijacked airliners (or hijacked trains). Just leave a box of shit (and spinach) at the post office. MORE »

The Islamo-Fascists apparently hijacked a train, which they’re going to use to, uhh … skip some stops in Maryland? MORE »

Iraq veteran and honorably discharged Marine Sgt. Adam Kokesh has been the Pentagon’s biggest public relations nightmare this year, because he’s some kind of magical Cindy Sheehan — people actually like him!

And while right-wingers had no problem mocking the mother of a soldier killed in Iraq, they have a tougher time mocking an actual living Marine male veteran who actually fought in the war they just write about on their blogs. Plus, you get the feeling he wouldn’t mind beating the shit out of, say, the entire staff of National Review Online … and that they’d probably enjoy it, too.

Find out what The Man is doing to silence Adam Kokesh, after the jump.

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Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask her.

This week: the all-important Union Station men’s room conundrum.

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