unemployment
Watch Paul Ryan’s Wife Janna Stop Herself From Tearing Unemployed Guy’s Throat Out With Her Teeth
Here is a rather whiny guy (Millennial, obvs) who simply will not leave Paul Ryan alone, when all Paul Ryan is trying to do is mind his own business and walk in a Memorial Day parade or something and not talk to him about his silly old “can’t get a job” problem! He is WALKING [...]
New York Times Infotainer: Taking Away Unemployment Insurance Will Make You Look All the More Harder For Those Jobs That Don’t Exist
Oh look, the Paper of Record has employed another typist to explain about bootstraps and whatnot, and give us the cold hard truth about why we are all losers who do not have jobs. Is it because of structural unemployment, or maybe something to do with robots? Ha! Ha! Ha! Of course not, says New [...]
In Which A Fox News Host Argues That Crushing Youth Unemployment Is ‘The Best Thing to Happen to Them’
Here is Andrea Tantaros, one of the however-many hosts of Fox News’ The Five, showing a chart of the historically horrid unemployment rates for the 18-24 year old demographic and proceeding to make one of those savvy counterintuitive arguments that earn her the big bucks: “I’ve argued once that maybe the economic downturn was the [...]
Around The World With Lloyd Dangle: Austerity’s A Bitch And Then You Die
(Pittsburgh) A few days ago I was in Rome, now I’m in Pittsburgh. My serotonin level is in freefall. No, Pittsburgh’s nice, really! The frutti di mare is good here. It’s the jet lag and the hemorrhoidal bonfire in my ass that make me want to die. And my VISA bill. I asked an emaciated [...]
Quirky Wall Street Journal Says Firing Government Workers May Lead To Higher Unemployment!
We are sorry, but we do not know what has gotten into the formerly sensible Wall Street Journal. Just listen to this Communist nonsense! One reason the unemployment rate may have remained persistently high: The sharp cuts in state and local government spending in the wake of the 2008 financial crisis, and the layoffs those [...]
Maine Gov. Paul LePage To Unemployed Shiftless Slobs: Get Off The Couch
Maine Gov. Paul LePage looks like Chris Christie, sounds like Harvey Fierstein, and speaks the words fed him by Grover Norquist, and that is a winning combination if we have ever seen/heard one! He is ready to “starve the beast,” and he has some Tough Talk for all you unemployed Cadillac queens who are sucking [...]
No Unemployment Moolah For Minnesota GOP Staffer Canned For Laying Senator
ST. PAUL, Minn. Michael Brodkorb is an unemployed worker who is carrying a heavy burden like so many others during these challenging economic times. After losing his job, he filed for unemployment. Every day he waited at the mailbox, hoping this would be the day he could turn his lights back on. Then it happened. [...]
Guy Auctions Himself Off to Embarrass Romney in Public
A man named Ron D. of Loudon, Tennessee recently put up an auction on eBay that offered his services to anyone looking to embarrass Mitt Romney (FREE SHIPPING). The blonde-dreadlocked man is currently underemployed, delivering pizzas, so he could use some money. He doesn’t really have any past dealings with Romney; he just isn’t a [...]
SC GOP Has Hawt New Plan for State’s Many Unemployed: ‘Free Labor’
KNOWN FACT: Unemployed people are lazy and refuse to get jobs. Why else would South Carolina’s unemployment rate always be hanging out around ten percent? So here’s an idea from the state’s Republican lawmakers: if the jobless don’t want to work for money, they should at least be legally required to work for free, right? [...]
Jobs Report Slightly Less Awful, Democrats About to Beat GOP For Once
NEW YORK—Big news this morning out of the Bureau of Labor Statistics: the unemployment rate dropped! Like, a lot! People without jobs are now at the lowest number they’ve been at since six months or so after the economy fell off a cliff (which, it should be noted, still remains at an astoundingly high 13.3 [...]
Elizabeth Warren Hates ‘Job Creation’ For Sympathizing With Jobless
How do you prove you hate “job creation” in America? According to a new GOP commercial attacking Elizabeth Warren, you do this by expressing sympathy and support for the jobless Americans taking part in the Occupy protests nationwide. The ad was created by Karl Rove’s anus Crossroads Grassroots Policy Strategies, some wingnut consulting firm that [...]
Eric Cantor Wimps Out On Speech After Hearing Peasants Might Attend
Terminally panicky villain-child Eric Cantor was all set to deliver a speech on “income inequality” and its many virtues to what he thought would be a carefully selected audience of approvingly docile business students at the Wharton School, but at the last minute university officials reminded Cantor’s office that the event would be open to [...]
To New York Post, Beans & Rice Donated To #OWS Is ‘Food For a King’
When there’s nothing else to bitch about, count on ignorant scare-sheet the New York Post to find something evil about the peaceful and polite Occupy Wall Street protesters. Maybe they are eating fancy liberal food? A new poll of New Yorkers proves that 67% agree with the growing protest against America’s bank-run corporate-welfare system, and [...]
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