Louisiana sex creep David “Diaperman” Vitter is known for one thing, and one thing only: Hiring hookers and then making those hookers put adult diapers on him, so he can poop in the diapers, for sex kicks. He has been caught employing prostitutes at least twice, in New Orleans and in Washington DC — his number found in the client phone records of the since-suicided “DC Madam,” in the latter case. He is a gross scumbag and a human joke, and guess where serious Congressional Journalistic Institution Roll Call found him fondling ladies’ lingerie and looking “a bit lost,” because he was about to spurt/poop? MORE »

Sarah Palin’s least-favorite almost-son-in-law Levi Johnston will not vanish from the public eye, ever! He’s doing a photoshoot with a website called Playgirl, which, despite its gender specific name, is actually a site for gay men who like to look at photographs of other men, naked. There is nothing wrong with this! And, you know, we are pretty happy that of the two unlikely Wasilla-based media sensations of September 2008, Sarah Palin is now an unemployed twitterer and Levi Johnston is the celebrity (?) of September 2009. Who could’ve predicted it? [Gawker/Violet Blue/The Sword]

Just a few months ago, the world watched with mouths agape as the assorted gentlemen of the Supreme Court tittered over a case involving a 13-year-old girl who’d been strip searched at school. The kid was accused by a fellow student (Curveball?) of handing out prescription-strength ibuprofen to her peers, and when school officials couldn’t find it in her backpack they made her demonstrate it was not in her bra or panties. Pretty fucked up, right? MORE »

Dear Ron Paul Supporter Who Apparently Kidnapped a Girl So He Could Videotape Her Wearing Ron Paul Undergarments: Do not hurt her. Please let her go. This is probably the first time you’ve ever done anything like this, and you’re white and probably have an okay job in tech support, so there’s a good chance you’ll get out of prison in three to five.

Ron Paul Girl [via Crackpot Press]

It’s Monday, we’re hungover, you’re hungover, so here are some pictures of young DCenesters in their underwear. We’ll get to the substantive stuff later. [BYT]

Why should New York get all the fun of alternatively laughing at and lusting after barely dressed coked-out hip kids? That was the question posed by the good people at Garutachi, an indie dance party frequented by people who look better but have significantly worse judgment than you. Last weekend, they threw an underwear party, offering free Sparks to anyone bold enough to strip down on their way in. Gawker’s own Nikola Tamindzic was in town, and he was kind enough to stop by the party and take a couple pictures. His own NSFW gallery is available here. Our gallery, with the usual snide remarks, is below. We would’ve gone to it ourselves, but we were busy that night sitting at home with a bottle of rye. MORE »

Europeans can’t get enough of stupid puppet shows or billboards portraying Bush and Blair as sex weirdos sodomizing each other with Queen Elizabeth’s bones, but an Italian opera company has finally shown some restraint. MORE »

Oy. MORE »