NATION OF UNDERWATER HOMEOWNERS: According to some estimates, about 20 percent of people with mortgages owe more on their homes than what they’re actually worth. Your mileage may vary depending on whether there are a lot of foreclosures in your area, because fire-sale pricing will naturally depress surrounding home values even more than just a gradual dropoff in the sales price of non-foreclosed homes. Also, owing 105% of your house’s value is a hell of a lot better than owing, say, 200%, but both count as “underwater.” The bottom line is this: if you own real estate of any sort, you are DOOMED, forever, to an eternity of anal invasion by Mortgage Demons bearing poison-tipped pitchforks. [Wall Street Journal]