Wonkette

Hillary Clinton could make her entire body into a pin cushion stuffed with American flag ornaments and still she would get no love from misogynist superdelegates. This is what we have learned from various influential voter-type people in the wake of Tuesday’s debate. MORE »

There’s been some internet terrorist “chatter” in recent days over who won Tuesday’s Louisiana Republican caucus. John McCain is claiming victory, Paultards are freaking over their supposed second and Mittens came in third. Whatever. There’d be no point in mentioning this confusing, unimportant Louisiana delegate system if it weren’t for the real winner Tuesday: Hillary Clinton’s pesky Michigan rival, Uncommitted. And this time with a dash of abortion! MORE »

Why 236,723 Democrats would come out to vote in a delegate-less primary for no one lends new weight to the concept of “mindfuck,” but one can interpret it (and we know that Matthews boy probably will!) as votes against The Clintons. Hillary’s crybaby face, which likely stayed on the ballot to fake a win, forced 40% of Michigan’s Democratic primary voters to leave their homes and play with a error-laden Diebold machine when they could’ve been doing anything else. It’s still too close for us to call. [CNN]

In case you missed the memo, the Democratic primary in Michigan has been stripped of its delegates after the state tried to move the primary earlier than designed in God’s divine plan. All of the candidates withdrew except [sigh] Hillary Clinton, who still only attracts 50 percent of the field. When she goes on Today or some show Wednesday morning to brag about her Michigan victory over nothing, someone please slap that crybaby? I would, but I’m a boy. [Real Clear Politics]