Tag Archives: unabomber

  not 'endangered' so much as 'differently thriving'

Weather Channel Founder Says Polar Bears Doing Great Because Eskimos Stopped Being Savages

In a chat with paid climate change deniers on the San Diego TV station where he now works as a weatherman, Weather Channel founder John Coleman insisted that, contrary to mere evidence, polar bear populations are increasing because “the Eskimos no longer kill the polar bears for the meat and furs in order to stay alive, it’s — we have now become more civilized in our Eskimo populations around the poles.” “Poles” may have been a verbal slip, or maybe he actually thinks polar bears live at both poles. It is not known at press time whether he illustrated his point with a cartoon of an Eskimo and a geographically impossible penguin shaking hands outside an igloo while a polar bear drank a refreshing bottle of Coca-Cola. Read more on Weather Channel Founder Says Polar Bears Doing Great Because Eskimos Stopped Being Savages…
  prison suicides: don't do it!

Love Letter from Federal Prisons Director To Unabomber Et Al.: ‘I Want You to Succeed’

The 200,000-plus inmates of the US Federal prison system had a wonderful surprise one day in July –– they received a special letter! Charles E. Samuels Jr., director of the Federal Bureau of Prisons, wrote an inspirational memo to each one of them wishing them the very best –– and imploring them not to commit suicide. Director Samuels, undoubtedly a popular figure among federal inmates, wrote: You may be reading this message while in a Special Housing Unit or Special Management Unit cell, thinking your life is moving in the wrong direction. But wherever you are, whatever your circumstances, my commitment to you is the same. I want you to succeed. Read more on Love Letter from Federal Prisons Director To Unabomber Et Al.: ‘I Want You to Succeed’…
  dumb pictures

Check Out These Lovely New Heartland Institute Murder Billboards

Well look what the end product of tens of millions in donations from rich libertarian energy tycoons and their corporations is at the Heartland Institute: A hilarious series of billboards out on the Interstate saying “Derp derp the Unabomber believed in global warming, derp, splat, are you the Unabomber?” They come in a variety of other mass murderer/dictator flavors, too, because the Heartland Institute is a very serious public policy organization. Read more on Check Out These Lovely New Heartland Institute Murder Billboards…