Tag Archives: un

  decisive moves

U.S., Other Sharia-Based Countries Destroying Israel With UN

The Obama administration is trying very hard at the moment to not have to call the Israeli settlements in Palestine illegal. Oh, diplomacy, you’re so silly. In order to do so, the U.S. has tried to make a deal with Arab countries to vote for a statement saying it “does not accept the legitimacy of continued Israeli settlement activity.” What is the difference between calling something illegal and saying you don’t accept its legitimacy? A lot, apparently. Enough to get all upset about. So much so that if this “settlements are illegal” resolution gets to the Security Council, the Obama administration may make its first veto. Does Obama really want the Palestine issue to be resolved, or does he want things to just stop happening in Palestine and for everybody to shut up their countries? It’s confusing. Let’s just say he’s a secret Arab Muslim because he doesn’t scream out “OH, ISRAEL, YES” when he’s having sex with Michelle, okay? Read more on U.S., Other Sharia-Based Countries Destroying Israel With UN…
  they always take it back

AFA’s Bryan Fischer: ‘Obama Wants To Give America Back To the Indians’

The American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer writes about important religious issues, so of course his attention today has turned to the heathen American Indians who were righteously defeated by the kind, ethical, Christian cowboys. American presidents have traditionally been pro-cowboy regarding this epic struggle. But then Barack Obama got elected. “President Obama wants to give the entire land mass of the United States of America back to the Indians,” Fischer says. “He wants Indian tribes to be our new overlords.” And what’s more, Obama is in league with the U.N., which owns property on the isle of Manhattan (formerly owned by Native Americans), to make this happen. Read more on AFA’s Bryan Fischer: ‘Obama Wants To Give America Back To the Indians’…
  and don't forget to nuke iran

John Bolton Has An Opinon About Wikileaks: Barack Obama Sucks

Have you been waiting and waiting for former UN ambassador/UN hater John Bolton to chime in with some wingnut bullshit regarding WikiLeaks? Well, the God of America heard your prayers! (American God did not, however, hear all your other prayers. So, maybe a job next year?) Anyway, John Bolton is pretty much an “O.G.” when it comes to the cyber sex or whatever so he has some solid grounding when it comes to forming an opinion about all the WikiLeaks leaking all over the place all the time, and it is pretty much that Barack Obama is far worse for America than WikiLeaks. Read more on John Bolton Has An Opinon About Wikileaks: Barack Obama Sucks…
  original originalism

Certainly You Assumed Sharron Angle Likes The U.N., But You Were Wrong

Sharron Angle was forced to speak words yesterday, as she has yet to come up with the brilliant idea to have her campaign say she has a throat infection that makes her mute for the next few months. “The United Nations resides on our soil and costs us money. We are — I don’t see any place in the Constitution with those priorities about the United Nations. So when we start talking about cutting programs, 5-percent per year, I think the United Nations fits into that category, yes,” she said. How can we be members of the United Nations when the Constitution and Bible don’t even MENTION it? Read more on Certainly You Assumed Sharron Angle Likes The U.N., But You Were Wrong…
  rumors on the internets

Fragonard is America’s New Norman Rockwell

Now that Michelle Antoinette is officially Spain’s hottest monarch, her husband King Obama XIV is spending all his cash on lavish Rococo pursuits like sex swings and “health care.” Luckily, the Reign Of Terror is coming back soon, so it’s all good. [The Telegraph] Read more on Fragonard is America’s New Norman Rockwell…
  wonkette's weekly review of the week that was

Remembering Our Fallen Week: Reading the Bones

The culture industry absorbed the potentially-mentally-ill candidate Basil Marceaux into its oily cogs. Now that Basil is just another big wig, who will stand up against America’s #1 enemy, gold-fringed flags? Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Reading the Bones…
  big gamble there

Orly Taitz Thinks UN Can/Will Protect Her

Queen Birther and international lawyer-dentist Orly Taitz has asked the United Nations Human Rights Council to protect her. We know that she is in hiding from other mean lawyers because she issued a press release, about how she is hiding. It comes under the name of “Dr. Jonathan Levy,” supposedly her lawyer, even though she is a lawyer. Neither of these people actually exist. [Washington Independent] Read more on Orly Taitz Thinks UN Can/Will Protect Her…
  daily briefing

Britain And France Are Going To Just Be HONEST And Tell Iran That They Know Its Nuclear Secrets

Hey Britain and France, whatcha up to today? OH NOTHING just accusing Iran of having the most secret and evil nuclear facility ever before the G20. There is also this Thai place in downtown Pittsburgh that we have been meaning to try. [New York Times] Read more on Britain And France Are Going To Just Be HONEST And Tell Iran That They Know Its Nuclear Secrets…
  today in pontiffication

Kadhafi/Gadhafi/Qaddifi/Gaddafi/Kaddafi/Kadafi Goes Nuts At UN

Libyan President Whatever-the-hell delivered a real barnburner at the United Nations today, in his first speech to the General Assembly. Here he is being like, “Little known fact about the Taliban: they’re pretty great!” In his allotted 15 minutes — which somehow became 60-plus minutes — he also demanded $7.7 trillion in reparations from the West for colonizing the African continent for centuries (a steal of a price, to be honest), blamed the UN for failing to stop or prevent 65 wars, and said he loved Barack Obama and wants him to be president for life, aww. [AP] Read more on Kadhafi/Gadhafi/Qaddifi/Gaddafi/Kaddafi/Kadafi Goes Nuts At UN…
  diversions

Bill Clinton Being Sent To Austrian Transsexual Festivals, Haiti, and Pretty Much Anywhere That’s Not DC

After a frightening round of campaigning in nearby Virginia, Bill Clinton has been given a long list of weird destinations, in hopes he will “keep busy” for the next eight years, far from polite Washington society. First came word of his appointment as special UN envoy to Haiti, which is known for its lack of TMZ and Politico reporters. Then we got the exciting news about Bill’s weekend trip to Austria, for the big transsexual sex festival, “Vienna Life Ball,” to raise money for the AIDS. Next up? A six-month diplomatic tour of Antarctica’s subterranean lesbian ice-sprite colony. [Gawker/Washington Post] Read more on Bill Clinton Being Sent To Austrian Transsexual Festivals, Haiti, and Pretty Much Anywhere That’s Not DC…
  bravery

Media Standoff! Press (Almost) Boycotts Sarah Palin At The U.N.

That gal with the lipstick is going to meet with Important World Leaders at the UN today, so naturally the McCain campaign did not want any reporters anywhere near that disaster. They said, “OK all you press organizations can get together and decide on ONE cameraperson to record the beginning of these meetings, before Sarah says something awkward about Hamid Karzai’s hat, but there will be no reporters to ask questions.” And for the first time in the history of ever, the press collectively told McCain to cram it. And then they took it back. Read more on Media Standoff! Press (Almost) Boycotts Sarah Palin At The U.N….
 

George Clooney Named U.N. ‘Messenger of Peace’

United Nation Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon has named famous starlet George Clooney as the social club’s ninth Messenger of Peace, because of his work doing something vaguely good for planet earth. Early reports indicate it was his phenomenal work in the film Ocean’s Thirteen that sealed the deal for Secretary-General Bat Shit-moon. Read more on George Clooney Named U.N. ‘Messenger of Peace’…
 

Someone Tell the UN Spider Man Isn’t Real

The United Nations, earth’s premiere international organization, is suffering from what a generous person might refer to as a PR problem. The once-esteemed institution (granted that was 50 years ago) now suffers from what is feared to be widespread corruption and also, thanks to our very own Decider-in-Chief, almost total irrelevance on the international stage. How does a tarnished international recover that righteous shine? Hire Spider Man, obviously. The UN is pairing up with Marvel Comics to make a free comic book to instill some faith in the UN in America’s children, the only group of people anywhere in the world insulated enough not to know better. Read more on Someone Tell the UN Spider Man Isn’t Real…
 

WMD Finally Found, In New York, Inside United Nations HQ

Colin Powell was right, motherfuckers, no matter how much he says he lied. When he told the United Nations that he totally knew for sure there were Weapons of Mass Destruction, his sole error was in claiming those evil weapons were in Iraq, when they were actually in the UN headquarters itself, only to be found by a cleaning crew four-and-a-half years later. Read more on WMD Finally Found, In New York, Inside United Nations HQ…
 

Christmas Apocalypse Now

Ho ho ho, so much for that “no news until next year” tradition. The world is coming apart at the seams and only copious amounts of Holiday Cheer(tm) will dull the pain. Welcome to the World Gone Wrong: Read more on Christmas Apocalypse Now…