Tag Archives: un

  big gamble there

Orly Taitz Thinks UN Can/Will Protect Her

Queen Birther and international lawyer-dentist Orly Taitz has asked the United Nations Human Rights Council to protect her. We know that she is in hiding from other mean lawyers because she issued a press release, about how she is hiding. It comes under the name of “Dr. Jonathan Levy,” supposedly her lawyer, even though she is a lawyer. Neither of these people actually exist. [Washington Independent] Read more on Orly Taitz Thinks UN Can/Will Protect Her…
  daily briefing

Britain And France Are Going To Just Be HONEST And Tell Iran That They Know Its Nuclear Secrets

Hey Britain and France, whatcha up to today? OH NOTHING just accusing Iran of having the most secret and evil nuclear facility ever before the G20. There is also this Thai place in downtown Pittsburgh that we have been meaning to try. [New York Times] Read more on Britain And France Are Going To Just Be HONEST And Tell Iran That They Know Its Nuclear Secrets…
  today in pontiffication

Kadhafi/Gadhafi/Qaddifi/Gaddafi/Kaddafi/Kadafi Goes Nuts At UN

Libyan President Whatever-the-hell delivered a real barnburner at the United Nations today, in his first speech to the General Assembly. Here he is being like, “Little known fact about the Taliban: they’re pretty great!” In his allotted 15 minutes — which somehow became 60-plus minutes — he also demanded $7.7 trillion in reparations from the West for colonizing the African continent for centuries (a steal of a price, to be honest), blamed the UN for failing to stop or prevent 65 wars, and said he loved Barack Obama and wants him to be president for life, aww. [AP] Read more on Kadhafi/Gadhafi/Qaddifi/Gaddafi/Kaddafi/Kadafi Goes Nuts At UN…
  diversions

Bill Clinton Being Sent To Austrian Transsexual Festivals, Haiti, and Pretty Much Anywhere That’s Not DC

After a frightening round of campaigning in nearby Virginia, Bill Clinton has been given a long list of weird destinations, in hopes he will “keep busy” for the next eight years, far from polite Washington society. First came word of his appointment as special UN envoy to Haiti, which is known for its lack of TMZ and Politico reporters. Then we got the exciting news about Bill’s weekend trip to Austria, for the big transsexual sex festival, “Vienna Life Ball,” to raise money for the AIDS. Next up? A six-month diplomatic tour of Antarctica’s subterranean lesbian ice-sprite colony. [Gawker/Washington Post] Read more on Bill Clinton Being Sent To Austrian Transsexual Festivals, Haiti, and Pretty Much Anywhere That’s Not DC…
  bravery

Media Standoff! Press (Almost) Boycotts Sarah Palin At The U.N.

That gal with the lipstick is going to meet with Important World Leaders at the UN today, so naturally the McCain campaign did not want any reporters anywhere near that disaster. They said, “OK all you press organizations can get together and decide on ONE cameraperson to record the beginning of these meetings, before Sarah says something awkward about Hamid Karzai’s hat, but there will be no reporters to ask questions.” And for the first time in the history of ever, the press collectively told McCain to cram it. And then they took it back. Read more on Media Standoff! Press (Almost) Boycotts Sarah Palin At The U.N….
 

George Clooney Named U.N. ‘Messenger of Peace’

United Nation Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon has named famous starlet George Clooney as the social club’s ninth Messenger of Peace, because of his work doing something vaguely good for planet earth. Early reports indicate it was his phenomenal work in the film Ocean’s Thirteen that sealed the deal for Secretary-General Bat Shit-moon. Read more on George Clooney Named U.N. ‘Messenger of Peace’…
 

Someone Tell the UN Spider Man Isn’t Real

The United Nations, earth’s premiere international organization, is suffering from what a generous person might refer to as a PR problem. The once-esteemed institution (granted that was 50 years ago) now suffers from what is feared to be widespread corruption and also, thanks to our very own Decider-in-Chief, almost total irrelevance on the international stage. How does a tarnished international recover that righteous shine? Hire Spider Man, obviously. The UN is pairing up with Marvel Comics to make a free comic book to instill some faith in the UN in America’s children, the only group of people anywhere in the world insulated enough not to know better. Read more on Someone Tell the UN Spider Man Isn’t Real…
 

WMD Finally Found, In New York, Inside United Nations HQ

Colin Powell was right, motherfuckers, no matter how much he says he lied. When he told the United Nations that he totally knew for sure there were Weapons of Mass Destruction, his sole error was in claiming those evil weapons were in Iraq, when they were actually in the UN headquarters itself, only to be found by a cleaning crew four-and-a-half years later. Read more on WMD Finally Found, In New York, Inside United Nations HQ…
 

Christmas Apocalypse Now

Ho ho ho, so much for that “no news until next year” tradition. The world is coming apart at the seams and only copious amounts of Holiday Cheer(tm) will dull the pain. Welcome to the World Gone Wrong: Read more on Christmas Apocalypse Now…
 

Daily Briefing: No Representation Without Mormonization

* As John Bolton steps down, his shoes, though not his mustache, are likely to be filled by Zalmay Khalilzad. [WP, NYT] * Bolton’s UN colleagues feel like it’s their birthday. [NYT] * Sam Brownback can’t quit the idea of being President. [WP] * Republicans will try to muscle through a weird “Abortion Anesthesia Bill” before the close of Congress. [WP] * President Bush meets with Iraqi Shiite leader who thinks the only policy change America needs is to kick more ass, take less names. [WP, NYT] * FBI spends too much time investigating mine-sweeper, comes up short on funds for new computer system. [NYT] * NASA’s plan for a new moon base is supported by space cadets. [WP] * Paper of record covers DC’s ruthless manipulation of Utah, hunt for most basic constitutional rights. [NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: No Representation Without Mormonization…
 

Dingbat Inhofe Bravely Saves Kids From Brainwashing

Actual psychopath Jim Inhofe sent some of his staff to a UN climate-change meeting and has since learned a terrible secret: The actual goal of these “global warming” devils is to brainwash children. Read more on Dingbat Inhofe Bravely Saves Kids From Brainwashing…
 

John Bolton Finally Free To Hate UN From Afar

To update our earlier “well sourced” post — based on a single e-mail and a NewsMax link — we can now somewhat confirm that John Bolton is going to spend a lot more time with Don Rumsfeld’s family. Read more on John Bolton Finally Free To Hate UN From Afar…
 

Evil Dems Destroy Career of America’s Mustachioed Sweetheart

When we realized that Creepy Uncle John Bolton’s appointment to the UN was dead in the water, the first place we went for incisive, intelligent commentary was radical nutjob Pamela “Atlas” Oshrey, the blogosphere’s number one Bolton dry-humper. She did not disappoint. Read more on Evil Dems Destroy Career of America’s Mustachioed Sweetheart…
 

Not With a Press Conference, But With a Whimper

John “Bushy” Bolton is supposedly the next Bush Administration creature to say goodbye, but he may not even get the fancy luxury of a White House press conference hosted by George “Fabulous Job” Bush. Read more on Not With a Press Conference, But With a Whimper…
 

Daily Briefing: The Bouffant of Wisdom

UN, like Goldilocks, needs to find sanctions for North Korea that are not too harsh, not too weak. [WP, NYT, WSJ] White House believes nuclear test was a “big deal” even if the bomb was made out of chewing gum, popsicle sticks. [NYT, USAT] Read more on Daily Briefing: The Bouffant of Wisdom…
 

Daily Briefing: A Twiffic Pran to Conquer Earf

White House proposes that new, stricter sanctions on North Korea include weapons, Louis Vuitton Fall/Winter collection. [WP, NYT] “Axis of evil” still only 33% invaded. [WP] How the hell did they get that bomb anyway? [LAT] Read more on Daily Briefing: A Twiffic Pran to Conquer Earf…
 

Daily Briefing: Horses, Corn, Disease, and Now Nukes

The Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea detonates the tiny little nuclear weapon they made. US forces were so looking forward to Iran. [WP, NYT, LAT,USAT, W$J] Jim Kolbe, Congress’s only openly gay Republican, confronted Foley all the way back in 2000. [WP] Read more on Daily Briefing: Horses, Corn, Disease, and Now Nukes…
 

Finally, Objective Proof That America Hates America

A screengrab for posterity, because you will never see it again and your children will surely want to know about the day Noam Chomsky outsold John Grisham. The New York Times also breaks the shocking story today that Mr. Chomsky is still alive. Read more on Finally, Objective Proof That America Hates America…
 

Hugo’s Book Club

We loved the Hugo Chavez show. And then he pulls out the Chomsky … incredible! Sadly, Hugo didn’t fulfill our second prophecy: Guatemalan friendship bracelets handed out to all the brothers and sisters at the UN … except for the Devil guy. Read more on Hugo’s Book Club…
 

Daily Briefing: Go With What Works

Bush addresses UN General Assembly, wants to embrace a peace-loving Iran, avoids Ahmadinejad like he had the enriched uranium in his pocket. [WP, NYT, LAT, W$J] White House “blinks” in stand-off with McCain’s gang, torture bill being revised. [NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Go With What Works…