Tag: un

This friggin' guy

President Of Earth Donald J. Trump To America’s NATO Allies: Drop Dead

Donald Trump has some new ideas about the U.S. commitment to the NATO alliance. They are ridiculous, frightening thoughts.
Everybody must get stoned

Sexxxy Richard Branson Says UN Should Drop Drug Policy Of ‘Keep Hitting Yourself’

Richard Branson, famous rich person and repository of some of the world's remaining sexxxiness reserves since the passing of Prince (PBUH), is so MAD, you guys, about the latest United Nations Drug Policy Agreement that just came out. Branson, the billionaire...
Maybe the demon sheep did it

Carly Fiorina Says All The Stupid On Climate Change And Then Some

That lady Republican in pink, Carly Fiorina, is enjoying her 15 minutes, so she's working overtime to barf out as much conservative stupid as she can before her time is up. Look, here she is talking stuff about climate...
P.S. They ARE crackpots

Hero Gov. Greg Abbott Will Stop Obama From Doing Martial Law And ISIS To Poor Texans

If you are a fear-addled conspiracy theory-loving wingnut reading this, you already KNOW what we are about to say. Terrible demonic false flag Indo-Kenyan "President" Barack Obama is preparing AT THIS VERY MOMENT to impose martial law on Texas,...
President In Name Only

Republicans Tire Of Telling Americans Obama Isn’t Really President, Decide To Inform The U.N. Instead

So this is how the Republican Party is going to proceed until they finally repeal President Obama from the White House: The Obama administration's plan for U.N. climate change talks encountered swift opposition after its release Tuesday, with Republican leaders warning...
Gentlemen, I have a plan.

Hero Texas State Senator Won’t Let UN Seize The Alamo For New World Order HQ

You might think that Texas state Sen. Donna Campbell sounds a bit goofy for introducing a bill to ban the United Nations from taking ownership of the Alamo, but we have a feeling she might actually just be really...

Excellent Socialist Pope Is Excellent, Socialist And Also Too Maybe Marxist

In the strictest search result for "socialism" sense of the word, Pope Francis is not a socialist because he has not (to our knowledge) ever argued for " society in which major industries are owned and controlled by the government"....

Global Nice Time: Fewer Kids Dying Of Horrible Diseases, Hooray!

With Congress back and threatening to ruin any chance of sound and effective government, is there anywhere in the world to look for good news? Have no fear, Glorious Readers, for we scour the globe, and when the globe...

How Is Obama/The UN/Illuminati Forces Taking Michigan’s Guns Away Today?

How many times have you heard B. Hussein Obama or Emma Goldman or whomever tell you that reasonable gun control measures don't mean the government will take away anyone's guns? So often you almost believe it, right? Well, stop...

Rick Santorum Will Fit In Fine At WND: Barack Obama Is Trying To Murder My Baby

Hello, neighbor, have you heard the Good News? Smegma-spittled Rick Santorum has taken an exclusive writing gig with WND, the estimable journal of conservative thought that advocates executing journalists to protect the First Amendment. And in his very first...

Megyn Kelly Simply Does Not Care For Those Black Helicopters Coming To Spy On Our Elections

Oh, Megyn Kelly! Don’t ever change, OK? Here is Megyn Kelly on Fox “News,” informing us that there may be an “extra set of eyes” on election day and those eyes may belong to the United Nations. Note the...

Netanyahu: Iran Almost Capable Of Building A Cartoon Bomb

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has an MBA and worked for a consulting firm before getting involved in Israeli politics, so he knows a little something about livening up a boring presentation with graphics. Unfortunately the fuddy-duddies at...

Texas Judge Wants Tax Increase To Help Law Enforcement Fend Off Obama’s U.N. Takover

Now here's a case, maybe the only case, for raising taxes that could appeal to Bold Conservatives, straight from Judge Tom Head of Lubbock County, Texas: If that there Obamer fella were to win reelection, God Almighty forbid, and...

Oklahoma ABC Affiliate Running Excellent NRA-Produced Journalism About UN Coming For Your Guns

Wonkette Okie operative "Commie Mom" reports that only two days after the Aurora, Colorado, massacre, Oklahoma City ABC affiliate KOCO was doing Journalism and the Universe the mitzvah of running slickly produced NRA programming explaining how Barack Obama and...

Robert Mugabe, Beacon Of Hope, Appointed Tourism Ambassador By U.N.

Robert Mugabe, yes, that one, the continued monomaniacal leader and premier "land reformer" of Zimbabwe, has a new job! In addition to the old job! Because he is getting bored with reforming land and "winning" elections and having lots...

‘P-E-N-I-S Goes Into The Anus To Rupture Intestines’ Says Nebraska Lady, Nobody Sure Why

WELL! Thank you Wonkette operative "OkieDokieDog," for passing along this film of great beauty and poetry. It is of a Nebraska lady getting all hot and nasty about Gay Sex Orgiers, with their P-E-N-I-S-es. They are Homiciders. And the...