Tag Archives: un

  patriotism

Republicans Tire Of Telling Americans Obama Isn’t Really President, Decide To Inform The U.N. Instead

President In Name Only
So this is how the Republican Party is going to proceed until they finally repeal President Obama from the White House: The Obama administration’s plan for U.N. climate change talks encountered swift opposition after its release Tuesday, with Republican leaders warning other countries to “proceed with caution” in negotiations with Washington because any deal could be later undone. Tuesday’s announcement by the White House that it had submitted a plan to the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC) to reduce carbon emissions, per an agreement made in November between President Obama and Chinese President Xi Jinping, is the sort of thing that shouldn’t be controversial because reducing greenhouse gases benefits everyone — even Republicans! Read more on Republicans Tire Of Telling Americans Obama Isn’t Really President, Decide To Inform The U.N. Instead…
  The Lone Nut State

Hero Texas State Senator Won’t Let UN Seize The Alamo For New World Order HQ

Gentlemen, I have a plan.
You might think that Texas state Sen. Donna Campbell sounds a bit goofy for introducing a bill to ban the United Nations from taking ownership of the Alamo, but we have a feeling she might actually just be really good at Strategic Idiocy. Campbell seems to be perfectly aware that there’s no UN plot to steal the Alamo from Texas and raise a blue flag over it, but by speaking fluent Texas Sovereign Crazy about the issue, she’s establishing her credibility with the John Birch Society wing of Texas conservatism, which is probably a sound strategy for re-election from her district. Read more on Hero Texas State Senator Won’t Let UN Seize The Alamo For New World Order HQ…
  How To Pope

Excellent Socialist Pope Is Excellent, Socialist And Also Too Maybe Marxist

In the strictest search result for “socialism” sense of the word, Pope Francis is not a socialist because he has not (to our knowledge) ever argued for “[a] society in which major industries are owned and controlled by the government”. But the definition of “socialism” is changing. Socialism is now understood by a lot of people to mean “the government helping people, and sometimes taxes,” because that is how literally every conservative politician and commentator uses the word. So by that definition, Pope Francis’s message to a UN meeting in Rome was so, so socialist: “In the case of global political and economic organization, much more needs to be achieved, since an important part of humanity does not share in the benefits of progress and is in fact relegated to the status of second-class citizens,” Francis said. Read more on Excellent Socialist Pope Is Excellent, Socialist And Also Too Maybe Marxist…
  they dont want to go on the cart

Global Nice Time: Fewer Kids Dying Of Horrible Diseases, Hooray!

With Congress back and threatening to ruin any chance of sound and effective government, is there anywhere in the world to look for good news? Have no fear, Glorious Readers, for we scour the globe, and when the globe isn’t filing restraining orders against us, we find good stuff for you. Like this, per ABC News: Childhood death rates around the world have halved since 1990 Hooray! That sure sounds nice. Less kids around the world are dying. We bet it’s because private enterprise, unconstrained by burdensome government regulation, has been seeking to steadily reduce the number of children under the age of 5 who die from things like malaria, pneumonia and diarrhea, right?  Read more on Global Nice Time: Fewer Kids Dying Of Horrible Diseases, Hooray!…
 

How Is Obama/The UN/Illuminati Forces Taking Michigan’s Guns Away Today?

How many times have you heard B. Hussein Obama or Emma Goldman or whomever tell you that reasonable gun control measures don’t mean the government will take away anyone’s guns? So often you almost believe it, right? Well, stop falling for it because (insert Drudge siren) THEY ARE TAKING OUR GUNS! There is a veritable orgy of gun grabbing going on in Michigan right now! Government bureaucrats are “investigating” ways to prevent people from committing suicide at a suburban Detroit gun range that rents weapons. [Royal Oak City Commissioner Peggy Goodwin] considers suicide a public health issue and is calling for a three-pronged approach in Royal Oak: making the public more aware of suicide prevention resources, such as Common Ground; finding out if incident-free shooting ranges are doing something more than Target Sports does; and possibly passing a local law to require Target Sports to improve its operation. Goodwin suggested an instructor or range master stay with people on the shooting range. To the untrained eye that may sound reasonable, but brave patriots know this “investigation,” like fluoridated water, is just laying the groundwork for a Fascist plot to prevent freedom-loving Americans from exercising their God-given right to bear arms against themselves. Most suicides are the tragic consequence of mental illness, but what if a Constitution-loving American, sworn to protect the republic against all enemies foreign or domestic, discovers that he is himself a threat to liberty? Why is the government preventing that brave citizen from taking care of the existential threat to his liberty that is himself? Are they in cahoots with him, that is the part of him that hates his own freedom? Can we take that chance? Read more on How Is Obama/The UN/Illuminati Forces Taking Michigan’s Guns Away Today?…
  don't forget the black helicopters

Rick Santorum Will Fit In Fine At WND: Barack Obama Is Trying To Murder My Baby

Hello, neighbor, have you heard the Good News? Smegma-spittled Rick Santorum has taken an exclusive writing gig with WND, the estimable journal of conservative thought that advocates executing journalists to protect the First Amendment. And in his very first column, Herr Doktor Santorum shows us the exact line one must travel to get from “crazy bitch” to “WND.” Read more on Rick Santorum Will Fit In Fine At WND: Barack Obama Is Trying To Murder My Baby…
  Faux Nooz

Megyn Kelly Simply Does Not Care For Those Black Helicopters Coming To Spy On Our Elections

Oh, Megyn Kelly! Don’t ever change, OK? Here is Megyn Kelly on Fox “News,” informing us that there may be an “extra set of eyes” on election day and those eyes may belong to the United Nations. Note the contempt with which she says “United Nations,” by the way, she might as well have been saying “the Muslim Brotherhood.” So anyway, yes! There MAY be an extra set of eyes! And they MAY belong to the United Nations! (They will probably belong to Jimmy Carter.) This is because “left-leaning civil rights groups,” aided by the Democrats, have called for U.N. election monitors because they SAY there are efforts to suppress the minority vote. Then she has a lady from True the Vote (which has been attempting to suppress the minority vote) offer the opinion that it’s “breathtaking,” the hypocrisy we’re seeing, just breathtaking, that they have gone to an INTERNATIONAL BODY that contains countries who have voter IDs! Can you believe that? Read more on Megyn Kelly Simply Does Not Care For Those Black Helicopters Coming To Spy On Our Elections…
  is acme corp violating un sactions?

Netanyahu: Iran Almost Capable Of Building A Cartoon Bomb

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has an MBA and worked for a consulting firm before getting involved in Israeli politics, so he knows a little something about livening up a boring presentation with graphics. Unfortunately the fuddy-duddies at the U.N. nixed his innovative PowerPoint idea, or maybe their projector didn’t have the right port for him to plug his laptop into (Thunderbolt is the new hotness, guys, get with the program), so he had to use this drawing of a comical cartoon bomb, of the sort that Wiley E. Coyote would use on the Road Runner, instead. If you were the underling tasked with Israeli U.N. presentation graphic design, what icon would you have used? Some suggestions, after the jump! Read more on Netanyahu: Iran Almost Capable Of Building A Cartoon Bomb…
  just hear him out you guys

Texas Judge Wants Tax Increase To Help Law Enforcement Fend Off Obama’s U.N. Takover

Now here’s a case, maybe the only case, for raising taxes that could appeal to Bold Conservatives, straight from Judge Tom Head of Lubbock County, Texas: If that there Obamer fella were to win reelection, God Almighty forbid, and hand over American sovereignty to the United Nations, there’d be such righteous civil unrest in the streets that the administration would quickly send in U.N. troops — so a 1.7% property tax increase would be well worth it to help bolster Lubbock County law enforcement before they’re forced to fend off said U.N. troops. Well, in that case, sure? Raise it five, ten percent, whatever you want, judge. Read more on Texas Judge Wants Tax Increase To Help Law Enforcement Fend Off Obama’s U.N. Takover…
  black helicopters also too

Oklahoma ABC Affiliate Running Excellent NRA-Produced Journalism About UN Coming For Your Guns

Wonkette Okie operative “Commie Mom” reports that only two days after the Aurora, Colorado, massacre, Oklahoma City ABC affiliate KOCO was doing Journalism and the Universe the mitzvah of running slickly produced NRA programming explaining how Barack Obama and the UN are coming for your guns. Good job, KOCO! Busy making journalism a better place, so Aaron Sorkin doesn’t have to! Read more on Oklahoma ABC Affiliate Running Excellent NRA-Produced Journalism About UN Coming For Your Guns…
  how wonderful

Robert Mugabe, Beacon Of Hope, Appointed Tourism Ambassador By U.N.

Robert Mugabe, yes, that one, the continued monomaniacal leader and premier “land reformer” of Zimbabwe, has a new job! In addition to the old job! Because he is getting bored with reforming land and “winning” elections and having lots of friends do things for him with guns pointed at their heads and wads of worthless cash stuffed down their back pockets. It turns out the United Nations, not even your high school’s model United Nations team, but the real thing, has appointed Mugabe as a “leader for tourism” in the UN’s World Tourism Organization. Is this like when an alcoholic celebrity is asked to do community service? Also, Mugabe is under a travel ban, which makes this extra wonderful. Read more on Robert Mugabe, Beacon Of Hope, Appointed Tourism Ambassador By U.N….
  bone bone's connected to the mouth bone

‘P-E-N-I-S Goes Into The Anus To Rupture Intestines’ Says Nebraska Lady, Nobody Sure Why

WELL! Thank you Wonkette operative “OkieDokieDog,” for passing along this film of great beauty and poetry. It is of a Nebraska lady getting all hot and nasty about Gay Sex Orgiers, with their P-E-N-I-S-es. They are Homiciders. And the UN/UNESCO, somehow. We do not know. But it should certainly have more than 313 views, so click where it says “READ MORE” and read more! Read more on ‘P-E-N-I-S Goes Into The Anus To Rupture Intestines’ Says Nebraska Lady, Nobody Sure Why…
  the military-industrial complex has no time for existential questions

Obama Confirms There Is No Point To Our War In Libya

President Obama is spending these crucial first days of the War in Libya tending to his flocks of alpacas in the mountains of South America, so it’s understandable that it’s taken him days to notify Congress he is blowing up that African nation and to tell the rest of us why. So now, at long last, here’s the reason why: There isn’t one. The White House apparently made a big boo-boo yesterday in issuing a statement that said our goal in Libya is “installing a democratic system,” words they later had to retract, because we would never want anyone to think the United States of America supports democracy. Yes, Gaddafi may coincidentally fall from us spending millions of dollars a day bombing him, but we really don’t care if does or not! Officially, Obama says, we are there to “protect civilians,” but considering this is a civil war consisting of two sides of tribes who are both shooting each other and taking prisoners and asserting their authority, it’s hard to tell which one is supposed to be “civilian.” So, yeah, there’s no official point to all of this. Read more on Obama Confirms There Is No Point To Our War In Libya…
  we will be greeted as deliberators

U.S. About To Lose Another War

Why are our war planes shootin’ up Libya right now? Just because we hadn’t done it in a while? Who knows! Does the U.S. want Gaddafi out of power? Russia and China seem to think so. Gaddafi’s compound was attacked by the U.S.’s super ally team. And Britain’s defense secretary, Liam Fox, said that killing Gaddafi could become an objective of the no-fly zone. So, although Congress still hasn’t signed off on this war, we may have a whole other country we will need to occupy, try to stabilize, and find a collection of new leaders to prop up. Isn’t that always the object of this sort of action? But the Obama administration won’t say it is, even though Obama says he wants Gaddafi gone. So Gaddafi will probably stay in power, and, according to the only plausible reason to shoot up Libya, we will have lost this war. Read more on U.S. About To Lose Another War…
  the master crazy at work

Glenn Beck: Wisconsin Unions Want a UN Caliphate, Or Something

OMG, you guys, Glenn Beck loves the nation-state so much. It is his favorite kind of world order. But according to his latest airtight theory, the United Nations, Wisconsin protestors, and Muslim Brotherhood are all in communication with each other about overthrowing the nature of international governance by making a single, Marxist, Islamist world government that respects human rights and freedom according to the resolutions of the UN. That may seem contradictory, but Glenn Beck is always right, so let’s listen to him. World politics sure does make for strange bedfellows, after all. In the minds of crazy people. Somebody’s going to be holding the Treaties of Westphalia close tonight! Read more on Glenn Beck: Wisconsin Unions Want a UN Caliphate, Or Something…
  decisive moves

U.S., Other Sharia-Based Countries Destroying Israel With UN

The Obama administration is trying very hard at the moment to not have to call the Israeli settlements in Palestine illegal. Oh, diplomacy, you’re so silly. In order to do so, the U.S. has tried to make a deal with Arab countries to vote for a statement saying it “does not accept the legitimacy of continued Israeli settlement activity.” What is the difference between calling something illegal and saying you don’t accept its legitimacy? A lot, apparently. Enough to get all upset about. So much so that if this “settlements are illegal” resolution gets to the Security Council, the Obama administration may make its first veto. Does Obama really want the Palestine issue to be resolved, or does he want things to just stop happening in Palestine and for everybody to shut up their countries? It’s confusing. Let’s just say he’s a secret Arab Muslim because he doesn’t scream out “OH, ISRAEL, YES” when he’s having sex with Michelle, okay? Read more on U.S., Other Sharia-Based Countries Destroying Israel With UN…
  they always take it back

AFA’s Bryan Fischer: ‘Obama Wants To Give America Back To the Indians’

The American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer writes about important religious issues, so of course his attention today has turned to the heathen American Indians who were righteously defeated by the kind, ethical, Christian cowboys. American presidents have traditionally been pro-cowboy regarding this epic struggle. But then Barack Obama got elected. “President Obama wants to give the entire land mass of the United States of America back to the Indians,” Fischer says. “He wants Indian tribes to be our new overlords.” And what’s more, Obama is in league with the U.N., which owns property on the isle of Manhattan (formerly owned by Native Americans), to make this happen. Read more on AFA’s Bryan Fischer: ‘Obama Wants To Give America Back To the Indians’…
  and don't forget to nuke iran

John Bolton Has An Opinon About Wikileaks: Barack Obama Sucks

Have you been waiting and waiting for former UN ambassador/UN hater John Bolton to chime in with some wingnut bullshit regarding WikiLeaks? Well, the God of America heard your prayers! (American God did not, however, hear all your other prayers. So, maybe a job next year?) Anyway, John Bolton is pretty much an “O.G.” when it comes to the cyber sex or whatever so he has some solid grounding when it comes to forming an opinion about all the WikiLeaks leaking all over the place all the time, and it is pretty much that Barack Obama is far worse for America than WikiLeaks. Read more on John Bolton Has An Opinon About Wikileaks: Barack Obama Sucks…
  original originalism

Certainly You Assumed Sharron Angle Likes The U.N., But You Were Wrong

Sharron Angle was forced to speak words yesterday, as she has yet to come up with the brilliant idea to have her campaign say she has a throat infection that makes her mute for the next few months. “The United Nations resides on our soil and costs us money. We are — I don’t see any place in the Constitution with those priorities about the United Nations. So when we start talking about cutting programs, 5-percent per year, I think the United Nations fits into that category, yes,” she said. How can we be members of the United Nations when the Constitution and Bible don’t even MENTION it? Read more on Certainly You Assumed Sharron Angle Likes The U.N., But You Were Wrong…
  rumors on the internets

Fragonard is America’s New Norman Rockwell

Now that Michelle Antoinette is officially Spain’s hottest monarch, her husband King Obama XIV is spending all his cash on lavish Rococo pursuits like sex swings and “health care.” Luckily, the Reign Of Terror is coming back soon, so it’s all good. [The Telegraph] Read more on Fragonard is America’s New Norman Rockwell…
  wonkette's weekly review of the week that was

Remembering Our Fallen Week: Reading the Bones

The culture industry absorbed the potentially-mentally-ill candidate Basil Marceaux into its oily cogs. Now that Basil is just another big wig, who will stand up against America’s #1 enemy, gold-fringed flags? Read more on Remembering Our Fallen Week: Reading the Bones…