uk
Have you heard about America’s new king and queen of hearts, Bill and Kate plus Eight? They are getting married very soon! And until the divorce in a few years and the tragic aftermath when Kate runs off with an Arab playboy and Bill falls in love with a tampon, this may very well be [...]
When a fellow member defended Obama’s tax cut compromise during yesterday’s closed-door meeting of the House Democratic Caucus, an unidentified member of Congress reportedly shouted out, “F*ck the president,” proving Obama is morally weak. (Click the “READ MORE” button if you want to find out the mystery of what that asterisk is hiding!) Predictably, this [...]
Julian Assange is very important, you guys, because he runs a website that compiles government documents some people find interesting, but if you handed them to pro skateboarder Tony Hawk, he would probably say, “Boring. I don’t want read this.” In his latest WikiLeaking, he revealed documents that show that U.S. diplomats are only capable [...]
The engrossing drama of Sarah Palin’s Twitter servant “favoriting” an Ann Coulter “retweet” of a “yfrog” photo of a church sign complaining that Jesus’ blood no-likey Obama is now over, as Palin has removed this thing from her account. Americans can now rest easy and get back to their daily lives. We will use Palin’s [...]
Bill Maher wants to know if it’s okay that he is afraid of Muslim babies. Why won’t they get off his lawn, these Muslim babies? They are trying to take over his lawn (“England”) and his old-man garden gnomes (atheists) with their adorable baby Sharia. Oh, you want this man to back down from his [...]
Our former colonial masters, the British, used to be renowned for their terrifying navy, which would obliterate rival fleets and bombard barbarian cities from the sea in order to pave the way for colonial conquest. Unfortunately, the Brits are stone cold broke now, having spent all their Pounds Sterling on booze, and so their navy [...]
Sometimes friends let old arguments get between them and keep them apart for much longer than they should. That’s why Pope Benedict XVI has decided to be the “bigger man in a funny anachronistic outfit” and plans to head up to Jolly Old England for a make-up visit. But does the Vatican believe that this [...]
POSH-PONCE DAVID CAMERON SIRES PREEMIE PRINCESS: U.K. Prime Minister and known cock-thinker David Cameron’s wife gave birth (slightly early) to a girl while the royal couple was on vacation in Cornwall; Cameron claims that they will come up with some kind of pagan Celtic Cornish name as a result, making her ineligible to become Queen. [...]
Genitals are, of course, the “hidden victims” of all of America’s many wars (“hidden” because American soldiers all wear pants, like good Christians). While much fancy technology has been used to protect the head and torso parts of your typical U.S. soldier or Marine, our culture’s outdated shame code has led our military-industrial complex to [...]
Did you know that Australia, the America of the Antiopdes, still squirms under the brutal heel of Elizabeth of Windsor? It is true! The Aussies came close to throwing off her yoke a decade ago, but she used her lizard-person mind powers on them somehow and they slavishly voted to keep sending her forty tons [...]
Recently-released files show that the fancy tea-based British government took their fancy British UFOs very seriously in the 1950s, and Winston Churchill destroyed much of the evidence to cover it up. The U.S. thought it was winning the UFO race at the time, but were our dandy allies secretly doing better than us? Why did [...]
Those leaks from Wikileaks seem to show that the ISI, the Pakistani spy agency that essentially created the Taliban, still is really quite supportive of that organization, despite Pakistan being technically allied with several countries trying to destroy it. But the ISI would like you to know that this is all a bunch of lies [...]
David Cameron, Elizabeth Windsor’s chief boot-lick and First Lord of the Treasury, has arrived in the United States for his very first visit as master of Britain’s decaying empire (motto: “We still rule Bermuda and Pitcairn Island with an iron fist!”). He was sort of hoping that he could just get some quality time in [...]
Nobody educated denies that the 9/11 attacks were planned at the highest levels at Buckingham Palace. It’s well-known that the Teutonic clan that has run the once-great British nation ever since the bloodless coup of the “Hanoverian Succession” (with the Aryan bloodline reinforced by Queen Victoria’s marriage to a Germanic princeling) will stop at nothing [...]
