You know what your Wonkette was doing one year ago, exactly? We were in St. Paul, watching the first of Sarah Palin’s national scandals unfold. So fun! Plus, there was a hurricane, to kill more poor and/or black people (it missed, which is how Obama got elected). And it was a year ago tonight that we unveiled the Sarah Palin Fail-o-Meter. Thank the Alaskan Anger Bear God she didn’t wind up as president. (And don’t forget the shitty little dog with an actual tiny boner for McCain!)

Book publishing and sociopathy collide in a BIG WAY this morning, as America is treated to its first glimpses of The Governor, the upcoming kunstlerroman from foul-mouthed ex-Monkee Rod Blagojevich. There is so much to love about this book already, and it is barely even ghostwritten: “Blagojevich writes that his guiding thought in selecting a new senator was, ‘How much do I love the people of Illinois?’” Ooh! Follow-up sub-question: Is it still accurate to call it a “tell-all” if it is all lies? MORE »

• WONKETTE DOES NOT CARE FOR THESE PEOPLE: Just how bad will August be, because of the Republicans and various anti-reform special interest groups? Imagine the Brooks Brothers Riot, but happening every day, across the country, for the entire month. Just health insurance employees being dispatched in plainclothes to town halls, so as to shout nonsense at congressmen and senators trying to inform their constituents about health care reform. CALLING IT NOW: Most obnoxious month in American history! Maybe. [Think Progress, TPM]

Remember Sarah Palin, the briefly famous wingnut lady who can’t speak, can’t read and can’t even remember the name of a single newspaper she pretends to read every day? Yeah, she’s getting millions of dollars from HarperCollins to write her “memoirs.” Jesus. She hired a lawyer last year (after she lost the election for McCain) to go after an $11 million advance. MORE »

It is nerd Christmas here at Wonkette, because the incomparable Brian Lamb has read a particularly tawdry headline from our humble site to the subject of that tawdry headline on his book show, “Q&A.” We refer, of course, to “Misogynist Neck-Beard Ross Douthat Shares His Sexy Stories.” MORE »

“Weird news,” indeed. Christ! Can’t you people keep your foul third-rate romance/low-rent rendezvous off the freakin’ Internet, which really doesn’t need more pornography, and certainly not the kind you two would create. Ugh. Thanks, Sadly, No!, for the year’s supply of Nightmare Fuel. [The Corner]

You sure look proud, you swollen little vulgarian. We liked conservatives a lot better when they went to church and didn’t walk around in public flashing cartoon porn at everybody. Enjoy your life on welfare! [via Rumproast]

Everybody was so excited when what’s his name, Atlantic child wonder Ross Douthat, got Bill Kristol’s spot in the New York Times. We’re still kind of angry about the NYT taking away one of our easiest weekly comedy bits, so no hurrahs from your Wonkette. Also, this Ross Douthat does seem to be that most common of things, a conservative asshole! Let’s take a look at his book, Privilege, and a very unsexy scene on page 184. MORE »

Good christ, how do you like this Economy — especially all you poor doomed media people? But at least “New Deal” Washington is immune to the national media meltdown, right? Not so much. Join us for what will probably be a not-fun new feature about Washington metro publications and journalists getting the axe. What should we call it? Ah, how about “Blood on the Snow,” as tribute to the Father of Our District’s famous remarks about all the poor dumb shoeless Revolutionary War soldiers who died under his command, in wintertime. MORE »

Thanksgiving is the day Americans very briefly pretend to be civilized family people as they gather around a table covered in once-a-year homemade food. The day after Thanksgiving — Black Friday — is when Americans return to their real selves. At 5 a.m. today, outside a Long Island Wal-Mart, a crazed mob busted through the doors and crushed a 34-year-old temporary employee. He died. Four lunatics were injured. [Reuters]

WHY DO ALL REPUBLICANS HATE SARAH PALIN BY TALKING ABOUT PIGS & LIPSTICK? “We’ve got 56 days until the election. How many of them can McCain spend hiding behind Palin’s skirt?” [Reason]