JAPAN’S NEW FIRST LADY IS VERY MAGICAL & SPECIAL: “While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus,’ Miyuki Hatoyama, the wife of premier-in-waiting Yukio Hatoyama, wrote in a book published last year. ‘It was a very beautiful place and it was really green.’” [Reuters]

So those awful explosions that you all witnessed the other night were not angels lighting their farts on fire, or meteor showers, or anything else Celestial. Apparently a fearsome Russian Rocket vomited its “space junk” all over the Eastern seaboard. Why don’t Russians care about the environment? MORE »

What the hell blew up in the skies over the Maryland-to-North Carolina Atlantic coast last night? Thousands of people supposedly saw terrifying Light Monsters floating down from the Heavens, and then heard horrific booms and thunder and such, and … well it almost sounds like a summer thunderstorm, SCARY, but it is not summer, or something? Global Warming? Let’s quickly & cheaply examine the frightful evidence. MORE »

Now that he’s the President of Global Business, Bill Richardson is on the A List! People are interested, maybe, in what he has to say! So it’s a good thing Esquire just posted some random stuff from an interview with the de-bearded New Mexican. He named his horse after some country music jackass! Barack Obama helped him out at a debate! MORE »

Air Force logs and government radar reports released under the Freedom of Information Act reveal that a massive, terrible mystery aircraft barreled through the skies of Central Texas on January 8 — and it was headed for George W. Bush’s Crawford ranch at 2,100 miles per hour! MORE »

WHICH RICH ELITIST WILL BEST FIGHT THE UFOS? The space monsters will kill us all, but which candidate will make us feel better about it? [Political Machine]

Every 10 years or so, there’s a “UFO flap” — special nerd code for “people everywhere think they’re seeing Alien Spaceships.” And guess what? We’re having one right now! From San Diego to, uh, some little town in Texas somewhere, Americans can hardly look up in the sky without seeing monstrous craft from beyond our world. But it’s not a real UFO Scare until the U.S. Federal Government Military cranks out an impossibly lame excuse for a mass sighting, two weeks later. MORE »

Dennis Kucinich was this close to winning both the nomination and the presidency when Rupert Murdoch’s evil new Wall Street Journal brazenly brought up that whole UFO incident, which everybody had completely forgotten because it was only a widely reported and heavily mocked part of a nationally televised Democrat debate a few months ago. MORE »

If this whole POTUS run thing doesn’t work out for Dennis Kucinich, he could always run for office in UFO-friendly Russia. According to some weird website, which is most probably a propaganda holdover from the Cold War, Russia’s Kishertsky district is planning a “UFO sanctuary” near the Moleba Village. We even fond this bizarre video of Russian UFO hovering and leaving light trails in mesmerizing psychedelic swirls. Either that, or the Starbucks hippie dosed my coffee. UFO Sanctuary To Be Created in Russia [Russian IC.com]

History will remember the 2008 Dennis Kucinich campaign for two things: his hot-ass wife Elizabeth, and bringing UFOs back into the political dialogue. Kucinich’s discussion of his UFO encounter during the last Democratic debate sparked a resurgence of very important questions about how our government is handling the “alien situation.” No, not Mexicans — like LEGIT aliens in flying saucers and shit. Last week, former Arizona Gov. Fife “The Fife” Symington wrote about his alien encounter after years of denying it. On Monday, The Fife was a key member of a UFO panel featuring experts with Air Force, NASA, FAA, Et Cetera and So Forth experience. MORE »

The pre-Halloween Democratic Debate was the usual boring candidate circle jerk until UFO nut Tim Russert brought up his love of Space Monsters and Shirley MacLaine to Congressman Dennis Kucinich. Like Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter, Kucinich has seen a UFO. MORE »