March 10, 2014
Former CosmoSenator Scott Brown showed up on the front page of the New Hampshire Union-Leader Monday in a story about the annual Penguin Plunge, a charity fundraiser for the Special Olympics. Brown, of course, is exploring a run against Senator Jeanne Shaheen, despite the possibility of an armed revolt against his perceived hatred of the […]
We have an exciting new entrant in our Cavalcade of Fringe Candidates, 2014 Edition! Yesterday, we brought you the satirical brilliance of Florida congressional hopeful Ilya Katz. Today, we go to the whole opposite corner of the continent to meet Kathleen Tonn, who’s running for the U.S. Senate in Alaska. She is very much the […]
You might think that someone running against an incumbent senator would be a bit more visible, but Texas Rep. Steve Stockman, who’s running against John Cornyn, seems to have disappeared from Washington and hasn’t voted in the House since January 9. He’s missed everything since then, including a chance to vote no on the budget. […]
Listen up, heathens. Oklahoma Sen. James Inhofe just needs to explain a thing or two to you people who think we need to extend emergency unemployment benefits that ended December 28. He has just two words that explain why we don’t need to do that: Polar Vortex. It’s easily the best cryptic advice since that […]
Yes, yes, we know: you thought it was going to be Louie Gohmert. There is no disputing it — the man really is the dumbest piece of fecal-infused dough in Congress, and that is really saying something. But the thing is, Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year is more than just a yardstick of dumbth. It […]
Poor Scott Brown. You gotta feel at least a little bad for a guy who gets billed as the headliner at a big New Hampshire Republican fundraiser that actually drew more protesters than supporters. That’s not quite a Westboro Baptist Church kind of turnout, but it’s got to be a comedown from having a bunch […]
In a refreshing change of pace, a gun-fondling wingnut is warning of armed rebellion over the possible political victory of someone other than Barack Obama. New Hampshire state Rep. J.R. Hoell (R-YouNeedToAsk?) told a rightwing blog that if some state Republicans succeed in an attempt to draft Brown into a 2014 Senate run against Jeanne […]
Just in case anyone was wondering whether the hierarchy was listening when New Pope said that stuff about ratcheting back the whole culture war agenda, here’s your answer: Three chairmen of U.S. bishops’ committees outlined their opposition to the proposed Employment Non-Discrimination Act of 2013 (ENDA) in a letter to the U.S. Senate … The […]
Chris McDaniel is just a good ol’ Constitutional Conservative who has addressed a conference held by a neo-Confederate group that thinks secession would be a nifty idea. McDaniel, a state senator who’s pursuing a primary challenge to incumbent Sen. Thad Cochran, was prominently featured in last weekend’s New York Times story on the “GOP Civil […]
There’s a very simple explanation for why Steve Lonegan lost last week’s special election for U.S. Senate to Cory Booker: The government shutdown. OK, that, and Lonegan’s being a loathsome asshat, maybe. But mostly the government shutdown, Lonegan told the Star-Ledger in an interview published Monday: “There is no doubt in my mind or in […]
This feature brought to you by a conversation in the Sekrit Wonkette ChatCave immediately following the Senate’s vote to end the shutdown. Yr Doktor Zoom, shaking his head, observed that both of Idaho’s senators had voted for default. Yr Editrix recognized Mike Crapo on the roll call of miscreants, because who forgets a name like […]
Here you go, Wonketteers: In a speech last Thursday, your favorite senator, Elizabeth Warren, took on the “anarchy gang” and their absurd version of “Liberty.” Best six minutes of video you’re going to see all week.
Here is Andrea Mitchell recalling a little run-in that she had last spring with Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Poutine). Mitchell was on the Morning Joe gabfest yesterday, and said that Cruz appeared to be far more interested in pursuing his Presidential Destiny (as prophesized by his father), instead of making nice, being Senatorial, or passing laws: […]
During his 21-hour not-quite filibuster, Senator Ted Cruz (R-Alberta) warned that “Any senator who votes [to allow debate on the House continuing resolution to fund the government] is voting to give Harry Reid the authority to fund Obamacare” because, of course, once debate was allowed, then Reid could strip the language defunding Obamacare from the […]
Ted Cruz is so serious about defunding Obamacare (which is totes going to happen this time) that he has a serious backup plan: maybe the House could threaten to shut down the military? How would you like that, Obama, huh?