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Posts Tagged ‘twit’

AMERICA'S LITERARY MASTERS

Meghan McCain Going Nuts Because Somebody Somewhere On the Internet Wants To Kill Himself

Monday, July 27th, 2009

Heaven knows I'm miserable now!
Much like the earlier generations of unemployed bloggers, Meghan McCain is just so deep in the Internet right now that she’s going double insane. Behold her nervous, illiterate twitters about somebody she doesn’t know who may or may not exist, on the Internet, and perhaps at minimum exists on the other side of the country, typing some sadsack stuff about wanting to die. Teen-agers are hyper-emotional, Meghan, sort of like you, except you haven’t been a teen-ager since your dad almost joined John Kerry’s presidential ticket. MORE »


IS THIS TOMORROW

Anti-American Outrage: Twitter Blocked On White House Computers

Friday, July 24th, 2009


Jesus fuck is this even America anymore? First we elect a black president, and now the Twitter is shut off in the White House? And we don’t want to hear any of this “Security concerns” balderdash, because when we last had a real American president (that fat white sack of shit Dick Cheney), and he needed to get around the “law” or whatever, he just ran his own private email servers with Karl Rove from some Tennessee pedophile listserv. [The Hill]


HISTORY'S GREAT MINDS

Sarah Palin Found Some List of Famous Quotes

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009

Du un2 othrz as u'd do urselfvz - jezuz k.
Read the boring old ghost-written industrial-lobby press release “op ed” under Sarah Palin’s byline in the Washington Post today if you want the neocon elitist version of the Alaskan idiot. For the real “Let Sarah be batshit Sarah” Palin, you must look (with horror) upon her Twitter page. MORE »


STREET FIGHTING MAN

Twitter So Scared of Andrew Sullivan, Iran

Monday, June 15th, 2009

Fail Whale.We know a little bit about disputed elections and revolutions and riots and such, and they all have one thing in common, throughout human history: Twitter. This is why Andrew Sullivan demanded that the always-broken Twitter not undergo some crucial scheduled maintenance tonight. MORE »


NO

Does Use of Twitter During Iranian Riots In Some Way Absolve Twitter of Sucking?

Monday, June 15th, 2009

AMERICA'S DUMBEST FAKE FAD

Sarah Palin Officially Twats

Thursday, April 30th, 2009

Who helps you with the big words, dummy?
Oh look, snowbilly grifter and chronic liar Sarah Palin has done that predictable thing. Isn’t that cute, it’s just her second twat and she’s already whining about the Librul Mediaz. STOP IT. Also check out the Cheryl Tiegs/Sears-style neon Paint Shop Pro signature on her background image. Jesus, she is mentally a nine-year-old, isn’t she? [Sarah Palin Twitter]


WASILLA FAMILY VALUES

Levi vs. Sarah, TeeVee’s Longest Running Snowbilly Reality Show

Wednesday, April 8th, 2009


This is going to go on forever — and eventually, it will involve the female participants wrestling in a vat of Taco Bell X-treme ketchup or whatever. Hooray! Now, lest you believe this is somehow “trivial” or “exactly what happens in much of America,” we want to remind you that this woman, Sarah Palin, intends to become President, somehow, and then she will install Trig as “Prince ‘o Peace,” and he will rule the world for 666 years, and then he will nuke it. He is made of nukes, Trig is.


REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS

NRO ‘The Corner’ Blogger Tells Coleman To Concede

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

What's half of ''Fuck You I don't want your fucking pamphlet'?
What is this, the famous journal of conservative thought (now begging you to subscribe for HALF OFF!) is calling on Brave Norm Coleman to actually give up fighting this election he lost to an actual teevee clown? In one of the typical remedial-blog-posting bits which make “The Corner” required reading in, we don’t know, maybe child prison camps?, Ramesh Ponnuru dramatically makes the case that Coleman should give up the fight. MORE »


BIGGER THAN JESUS

John McCain’s Twitter Thinks It’s Better Than Our Lord Jesus Christ

Friday, April 3rd, 2009

'I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity. '
The super-dumb full-of-shit jingoistic Magic 8-Ball known as “John McCain’s twatbot” crapped this out today: “America has been and remains the greatest force for good in history.” Eric Spiegelman wonders why John McCain is pissing on Christ’s grave. [Bus Your Own Tray]


HEY MAN THAT'S OUR JOKE

Stephen Colbert Has Twatted

Thursday, March 19th, 2009


Boy you can say anything on the teevee these days, thanks to the Fairness Doctrine.


WHAT'S HE BUILDING?

Sean Hannity Getting Crazier by the Minute

Monday, February 16th, 2009

New World Order!
The technological marvel that is “Twitter” allows Americans the opportunity to watch wingnut entertainers actually lose their shit in real time, on the Internet. Here, neanderthal poop-sack Sean Hannity lets us know about the New World Order, in which the Black Muslim President (Nancy Pelosi) will somehow make right-wing bloggers get drivers’ licenses, in order to type ALL CAPS freakouts about the Islamo-Fascists in the White House. Illegal Mexicans/Dirty Bombers, however, will still be allowed full access to both America and its white virgins. [Twitter]