Wonkette

Beth Allen, the wife of homosexual former Florida state Rep. “Twenty Dollar” Bob Allen, will not be deterred from Achieving! She is running for Brevard County Elections Supervisor, because someone’s gotta make a damn living in that household. Surely that county will have voting problems in the upcoming presidential election, and it will be gay Bob Allen’s family that has to decide the president. Barack can’t lose! [Orlando Sentinel]

Former Florida state Rep. “Twenty Dollar” Bob Allen, the homosexual Republican who was tried and convicted for trying to blow this dude in a Florida potty, is back on our gaydar after landing in Rolling Stone’s “Yearbook 2007″ issue. No, no, it’s not for the “Top 5 Florida Legislators of the Year” list, but for the one chronicling 2007’s best GOP sex scandals. Holler to Rolling Stone: We don’t really read you, but we respect you. -ish. [WESH]

Remember how we said the “Twenty Dollar” Bob Allen saga was kaput? Well, it still is — unless you live in Florida. If you follow the logical thread that bathroom blowjob = gay embarrassment = weeklong misdemeanor trial = conviction = resignation, the laugh cycle has reached its limit for most Americans. But for Floridians it continues, because resignation = special election = MONEY$. And as the Orlando Sentinel reported today, a special election could cost the state $400,000. The state could either tap into its tax revenue or allow Bob Allen to buy 20,000 blowjobs from government employees.

Filling Rep. Bob Allen’s seat could cost Orange, Brevard $200,000 each [Orlando Sentinel]

Wonkette readers, we must be the bearer of bad news. The saga of Florida’s now ex-state Rep. “Twenty Dollar” Bob Allen has finally come to a satisfying, but bittersweet, close. Yesterday afternoon, Allen was sentenced on a misdemeanor count of solicitation for prostitution (in lay terms: they done punished him for trying to blow that guy in the potty room). Today, Allen resigned from the Florida House of Representatives — effective Feb. 15, 2008, for some reason. A sad day for America, sure, but “Twenty Dollar” Bob leaves us with one final goldmine of makefunnery: the terms of his sentencing. MORE »

From Florida Today: “5:42 p.m…. A jury found state Rep. Bob Allen guilty of sex solicitation in his trial in Viera.”

So sad. Not the verdict, just that the trial is over. Can we have another? [Florida Today]

Florida Today’s brilliant liveblogging of the Bob Allen penis trial continues with day three of hilarious “he said/he said” (h/t Larry Craig) misunderstandings. The trial is expected to go all aftern–

Oh wait! The trial won’t resume until tomorrow morning, because they’re taking a field trip to the hot dog factory itself. MORE »

“Twenty Dollar” Bob Allen’s trial for cocksmoking is now in its third day, and the toothpaste is alllllll coming out. Again. More of it. Unfortunately we can’t spend the whole day following the disgraced Florida state representative’s trial, as we’d like to, but the divine newspaper Florida Today is liveblogging it (or at least making semi-regular updates to the same story). MORE »