Tag: tweets

Donald Trump Threatens A Little Nuclear War At The UN. But So Presidentially!

Today, Donald Trump finally became president. For at least the morning.
Technically not 'hair,' we know

Justice Department Corporate Fraud Lawyer Quits Because Trump Doesn’t Ethics Good

That's some swamp, that Trump swamp.
Is there a Tommy gun emoji?

FBI Now Investigating FBI Twitter Account, Hopes To Quickly Clear Itself Of All Wrongdoing

We'd feel a lot better about this if Mulder and Scully were on the case.
Let Them Eat Trump Steaks

You Will Completely Believe How Good Trump Campaign Has Been For Trump-Owned Businesses

Donald Trump's campaign has been great business for Donald Trump. And any business owned by his family.
Trump hats: 2017's top garage sale item

Donald Trump Would Like Some Money, Please. For Hats.

Donald Trump's campaign is in complete disarray. But...what if it isn't?

Corporations And Celebrities Agree: Anti-Gay Indiana Can Get Bent

On Thursday, wingnut Indiana Gov. Mike Pence signed his state's Fuck The Gays bill into law, which basically says that as long as your religion tells you Jesus's first and only question on Judgment Day will be "and how...
Meh, a penguin. It's pretty close to the Twitter logo, right?

Twitter Calmly Assesses The Nuances Of Aaron Schock’s Resignation

You may have heard that Rep. Aaron Schock has suddenly resigned in the aftermath of the astonishing revelations in the final episode of HBO's The Jinx. And has the unexpected departure of the Distinguished Gentleman From Instagram blown up...
No, honey, the rats are just playing a little rough.

Oh Hey GOP, Whatcha Doin’? Breakin’ Some Laws?

You guys are not going to believe this, but CNN broke a story, and it's got everything -- political malfeasance, coded tweets, Karl Rove! It's a story that once again reinforces how crappy Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy's reasoning in...
No we don't mind if we help ourselves

Here, We ‘Found’ Some Tweets You Might Like

Back by popular demand, other people's words we enjoyed. You can enjoy them too. We won't even charge you. Yep. Thanks, WaPo! Here's an idea: Geeeeenyus: All together now: awwwwwwwww. Perfection: RIP, America: From our very own Yr Doktor Zoom: What were some of your favorites today?
No respect

Minnesota Scumbag Wins ‘Douchiest Robin Williams Tweets’

You may or may not remember the postmodern stylings of Minnesota Republican Chris Fields, who explained a couple of years ago, when he ran against Keith Ellison for Congress, that there's just no way in hell that an ad...

Matt Drudge Deletes Entire Twitter Oeuvre; World Asks, ‘Who?’

Pioneering aggravation aggregator Matt Drudge has gone and sent every single one of his Tweets down the memory hole, and nobody knows why. It's kind of like that time when George Washington killed his sensei in a duel --...

Donald Trump Keeps The ‘Me’ In ‘Memorial’

And now, to round out your September 11, 2013, here's Donald Trump. "Best wishes, even to the haters and losers." And that's what 9/11 is all about, Charlie Brown.
The deer are not what they seem

Chuck Grassley’s Postmodern Tweet-Lit Phenom: ‘Assume Deer Dead’

Senator Charles “Chuck” “I now h v an iphone” Grassley (R-Xanadu) just loves him some Twitter. And he tweets with all the Nrg a man can bring to the task. But a true artist knows that he must grow....

Twitter Elects Michelle Obama President of Speeches

Last night, First Lady Michelle Obama gave her DNC speech, and in a pink Tracy Reese dress (stylish and symbolic, of course), our FLOTUS verbally kickboxed Mitt Romney in the junk. There were those lines, "Being president doesn’t change...

Rick Perry Still in This Thing, Because Governing Texas Is So Last Summer

The night after finishing fifth place in Iowa, ahead of now-quitter Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, one of the most subdued dudes (subdudes!) ever, was up running around a lake in serious winter running gear, his hair as unkempt and...