twats
Gay Fired Romney Foreign Policy Spokesperson Pretty Sure Your Wonkette Responsible For All This Mess
Hey so remember yesterday when Mitt Romney fucked the dog with his response to this mishigas in Libya? Well your Wonket had a thought: what if His Lord High Hairgel had in fact not fired that one dude, Richard Grenell, for being a lover of men? Perhaps Richard Grenell (who people say was super good [...]
Party of David Vitter & Larry Craig & Newt Gingrich Tells Anthony Weiner To Resign
Well, we didn’t see this coming at all: The chairman of the Republican National Committee on Tuesday called for Rep. Anthony Weiner to resign from Congress, saying no investigation was necessary “to know he lied and acted inappropriately.” Following Weiner’s dramatic news conference Monday afternoon, during which he admitted to sending explicit online communications to [...]
Newt Gingrich Rams His Love of Easter Candies Down America’s Memory Hole
Amoral pudgesack Newt Gingrich loves only two things: divorcing his old wives after he gives them cancer, and stuffing his albino-hamster face with Easter candies to “prove” he loves his current wife, for the time being. But now his holiday gluttony is as hidden away as the records of his many cruel divorces against his [...]
Twitter Won’t ‘Verify’ Scott Walker Because He’s Just a Random Jerk
Famous people like Howard Stern and Rahm Emanuel have “verified” Twitter accounts, meaning they get a little green checkmark next to their name on the Twitter. This serves some purpose, we suppose, for those Twitter users who require assurance that the banal “tweets” from whatever public figure are truly from that public figure (or the [...]
Meghan McCain Suffers ‘Unforeseen Professional Responsibilities’
What’s our favorite poor little rich girl/Nobel Prize For Literature winner Meghan McCain up to these days? Mostly just making an Olive Garden franchise go broke on those “bottomless bread stix” baskets and otherwise promoting her Booker Prize-winning novel about a dysfunctional family living off a pill-zombie’s beer fortune … unless, of course, she’s not [...]
RedState Guy Says Tom Friedman Acts Like a Jackass On Amtrak
Our nation’s leading pundits can always be expected to act like the gentlemen-scholars they are, especially while riding public transportation. That’s why CNN fringe-right psychopath Erick “RedState” Erickson has just been twittering important eyewitness accounts of bestselling conventional-wisdom hack Thomas Friedman allegedly being a total asshole to some poor Amtrak employee, who apparently didn’t dispose [...]
Mike Mullen Leaks Classified Attitude Problem
“We’re going to continue to mindlessly funnel money to Pakistan so they can train people to kill us, irregardless of whatever that HippieLeaks fruit posted on the Internets.” [The Hill: Twitter Room]
Wonkette’s Tragic Use of Twitter
The other day we hit 911 posts on Twitter, which is a magickal number used to call the police when your neighbors are on the crack again at 4 o’clock in the morning and also the infamous/dreadful day when America officially began its self-fulfilling prophecy to topple like a stupid bloated giant full of ass-cancer [...]
Gross New Way To Enjoy Teabagger Twitters
Do you love to laugh at Tea Party Tweets but hate actually looking at Twitter or knowing about Teabaggers and their Tweeting Habits? WORRY NO MORE, here is a gross website that poops out an endless supply of Tea Party wisdom from the nation’s learning-challenged patriots on the ‘puters. [TeaFarty.com via Wonkette operative "Hieronymus "]
John McCain’s Twitter Talks Awkwardly To Cancer-Bed Troll
Gross old liebot John McCain, whose entire head is made of skin cancer and bullshit, is having a very important policy discussion with “Snooki,” a bright orange dwarf who appeared on a chilling documentary about emotionally challenged adolescents left alone in a tacky vacation house to die of STDs. John McCain won’t tax you for [...]
Today’s Hard-Hitting Profile of a Washington Twitter User Features Chuck Todd
Following the New York Times magazine feature on DC cut-and-paster Mike Allen is no easy job, so Washington Post media typist Howard Kurtz had to do a whole story on Chuck Todd — even though Todd is not primarily known for forwarding some links to his BCC list. Who is Chuck Todd, anyway, if not [...]
CAN YOU USE TWITTER WITHOUT BEING AN IDIOT?: A sad French journalist in DC cannot believe how terrible it is, this Twitter illiteracy. But isn’t everything terrible? [True/Slant]
Angry Old John McCain Can’t Figure Out How This Camera-Phone Works
Lurching worm-beast John McCain found a new thing to yell at today! He’s just stuck down at the end of the hall, barking at his cell phone and demanding that staffers “fix the goddamn door that used to be here,” and of course there’s no door, and no staffers either … just one of those [...]
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