Ah, Sturgis … it’s like the “Gathering of the Juggalos” for middle-aged people who saved up enough for a Gold Wing! And the $100-million McCain family just adores acting like they love this dumb populist cretin crap, because, after all, the McCains have those riches only because Cindy’s dad actually worked for a living, selling Budweiser to guys with choppers, in Arizona. It’s circular! MORE »

Hey everybody, some birthers are just wandering around various Senate and House office buildings, bothering the shit out of staffers and interns, and then twatting about it, on the Twitter. David Weigel, the Stephen Crane + Ernie Pyle × Martha Gellhorn of the Tea Party-Birthers Wars, has the whole collection of retardation, go look at it and laugh, for America. [Washington Independent]

Much like the earlier generations of unemployed bloggers, Meghan McCain is just so deep in the Internet right now that she’s going double insane. Behold her nervous, illiterate twitters about somebody she doesn’t know who may or may not exist, on the Internet, and perhaps at minimum exists on the other side of the country, typing some sadsack stuff about wanting to die. Teen-agers are hyper-emotional, Meghan, sort of like you, except you haven’t been a teen-ager since your dad almost joined John Kerry’s presidential ticket. MORE »

Jesus fuck is this even America anymore? First we elect a black president, and now the Twitter is shut off in the White House? And we don’t want to hear any of this “Security concerns” balderdash, because when we last had a real American president (that fat white sack of shit Dick Cheney), and he needed to get around the “law” or whatever, he just ran his own private email servers with Karl Rove from some Tennessee pedophile listserv. [The Hill]

When Nobama shuts down Twitter to finally free America from gross old white guys typing porn on their Blackberry machines, it will be messages like this one that we remember, from creepy weirdo Karl Rove, about how he works in an office full of masturbators draped in Snuggie-brand couch blankets, in the heat of July. [Twitter via The Hill]

We know a little bit about disputed elections and revolutions and riots and such, and they all have one thing in common, throughout human history: Twitter. This is why Andrew Sullivan demanded that the always-broken Twitter not undergo some crucial scheduled maintenance tonight. MORE »

Iranian media crackdown prompts Tweets and blogs [Christian Science Monitor]

WIN OF THE AFTERNOON: In response to this post about bulbous adulterer crybaby Newt Gingrich twit-bitching about Sonia Sotomayor while he was visiting Auschwitz (!) today, Wonkette commenter GuruKalehuru offered this sad assessment of America’s dumbest fad for old people: “This twitter thing is going to be like the new ‘It was the alcohol talking.’ Or it should.”

This might seem nuts, but it turns out that the combination of Twitter and the Pig-Bird-Mexican flu pandemic is a whole lot of Wrong. That is the point of this post, we think, although this quote from CNN sort of demolishes, well, everything: “Chatter about swine flu is also loud elsewhere online. About 10 times more people are writing online about swine flu than wrote about the salmonella and peanut butter scares from this winter, Nielsen says.” [CNN]

This guy is too much: He was so PISSED OFF by Homeland Security noting that certain heavily armed anti-government wingnuts might, uh, do something crazy that he decided to take his guns to the Oklahoma City teabagging protest and, uhm, kill a bunch of cops. That’ll learn ‘em! MORE »

If you had any remaining doubt that Twitter is just a creepy old man muttering batshit nonsense, PUT THOSE DOUBTS AWAY, forever. Larry King has a Twitter. Good Lord. MORE »