Tag Archives: twat

  worse than watergate

Newt Gingrich Rams His Love of Easter Candies Down America’s Memory Hole

Amoral pudgesack Newt Gingrich loves only two things: divorcing his old wives after he gives them cancer, and stuffing his albino-hamster face with Easter candies to “prove” he loves his current wife, for the time being. But now his holiday gluttony is as hidden away as the records of his many cruel divorces against his dying spouses, because Newt Gingrich deleted all his old Twitter posts. It’s really no surprise, because Newt Gingrich is exactly the kind of self-obsessed slob who would document his joy in slobbering all over Reese’s peanut-butter Easter Eggs on a day when real Christians are solemnly marking the death of Jesus — and he’s exactly the kind of lying fraud who would spend hours going through his old Twitter posts to delete all the ones that don’t look very “presidential candidate-ish,” because they are openly racist or speak of anal sex with sea pirates as a “punishment” or, apparently, because they reveal the Newt’s childish glee over some bunny-shaped sweets from the Walgreen’s. Read more on Newt Gingrich Rams His Love of Easter Candies Down America’s Memory Hole…
  140 characters and the truth

CAN YOU USE TWITTER WITHOUT BEING AN IDIOT?: A sad French journalist in DC cannot believe how terrible it is, this Twitter illiteracy. But isn’t everything terrible? [True/Slant]
  bedtime for america

OH HEY, IT’S TRUE: We’re on the Twitter, just Twattin’ old-skool, live-blog style, about your favorite Massholes, what’s-her-name and got-no-pants. [Wonkette Twitter]
  those twittering mccains

Meghan McCain Now Threatening To Run Away With Trashy Sturgis Bikers, and She Definitely Should Do This!

Ah, Sturgis … it’s like the “Gathering of the Juggalos” for middle-aged people who saved up enough for a Gold Wing! And the $100-million McCain family just adores acting like they love this dumb populist cretin crap, because, after all, the McCains have those riches only because Cindy’s dad actually worked for a living, selling Budweiser to guys with choppers, in Arizona. It’s circular! Read more on Meghan McCain Now Threatening To Run Away With Trashy Sturgis Bikers, and She Definitely Should Do This!…
  america's literary masters

Meghan McCain Going Nuts Because Somebody Somewhere On the Internet Wants To Kill Himself

Much like the earlier generations of unemployed bloggers, Meghan McCain is just so deep in the Internet right now that she’s going double insane. Behold her nervous, illiterate twitters about somebody she doesn’t know who may or may not exist, on the Internet, and perhaps at minimum exists on the other side of the country, typing some sadsack stuff about wanting to die. Teen-agers are hyper-emotional, Meghan, sort of like you, except you haven’t been a teen-ager since your dad almost joined John Kerry’s presidential ticket. Read more on Meghan McCain Going Nuts Because Somebody Somewhere On the Internet Wants To Kill Himself…
  is this tomorrow

Anti-American Outrage: Twitter Blocked On White House Computers

Jesus fuck is this even America anymore? First we elect a black president, and now the Twitter is shut off in the White House? And we don’t want to hear any of this “Security concerns” balderdash, because when we last had a real American president (that fat white sack of shit Dick Cheney), and he needed to get around the “law” or whatever, he just ran his own private email servers with Karl Rove from some Tennessee pedophile listserv. [The Hill] Read more on Anti-American Outrage: Twitter Blocked On White House Computers…
  history's great minds

Sarah Palin Found Some List of Famous Quotes

Read the boring old ghost-written industrial-lobby press release “op ed” under Sarah Palin’s byline in the Washington Post today if you want the neocon elitist version of the Alaskan idiot. For the real “Let Sarah be batshit Sarah” Palin, you must look (with horror) upon her Twitter page. Read more on Sarah Palin Found Some List of Famous Quotes…
  street fighting man

Twitter So Scared of Andrew Sullivan, Iran

We know a little bit about disputed elections and revolutions and riots and such, and they all have one thing in common, throughout human history: Twitter. This is why Andrew Sullivan demanded that the always-broken Twitter not undergo some crucial scheduled maintenance tonight. Read more on Twitter So Scared of Andrew Sullivan, Iran…
  america's dumbest fake fad

Sarah Palin Officially Twats

Oh look, snowbilly grifter and chronic liar Sarah Palin has done that predictable thing. Isn’t that cute, it’s just her second twat and she’s already whining about the Librul Mediaz. STOP IT. Also check out the Cheryl Tiegs/Sears-style neon Paint Shop Pro signature on her background image. Jesus, she is mentally a nine-year-old, isn’t she? [Sarah Palin Twitter] Read more on Sarah Palin Officially Twats…
  first daughter first love

Meghan McCain Now Just Recycling Three-Month-Old Wonkette Posts

Tina Brown’s Internet Tendency, Cthulhu du Jour, continues to pay Meghan McCain a few dollars to write what is starting to sound like some fading newspaper’s “youth columnist.” It is dismal. And today, it’s just some used-up “Whoa Karl Rove is on Twitter” waste product, which even your Wonkette got tired of back in January, when George W. Bush was still president. Read more on Meghan McCain Now Just Recycling Three-Month-Old Wonkette Posts…
  republicans in the news

NRO ‘The Corner’ Blogger Tells Coleman To Concede

What is this, the famous journal of conservative thought (now begging you to subscribe for HALF OFF!) is calling on Brave Norm Coleman to actually give up fighting this election he lost to an actual teevee clown? In one of the typical remedial-blog-posting bits which make “The Corner” required reading in, we don’t know, maybe child prison camps?, Ramesh Ponnuru dramatically makes the case that Coleman should give up the fight. Read more on NRO ‘The Corner’ Blogger Tells Coleman To Concede…
  bigger than jesus

John McCain’s Twitter Thinks It’s Better Than Our Lord Jesus Christ

The super-dumb full-of-shit jingoistic Magic 8-Ball known as “John McCain’s twatbot” crapped this out today: “America has been and remains the greatest force for good in history.” Eric Spiegelman wonders why John McCain is pissing on Christ’s grave. [Bus Your Own Tray] Read more on John McCain’s Twitter Thinks It’s Better Than Our Lord Jesus Christ…