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Poisonous creature of the deep Bill O’Reilly did a segment on his show Tuesday about One Million Moms’ boycott of Ellen DeGeneres’ spokesperson deal with JC Penney. Strangely, the segment was, for the most optimistic among us, some evidence that world peace will happen before the world ends (which is this year). Ellen recently signed [...]
Prattler extraordinaire Sarah Palin came the closest yet to endorsing someone as the Republican nominee when she told Fox News’s Sean Hannity on Tuesday that she’d vote for Newt Gingrich in the South Carolina primary. But you see, this is not an endorsement at all, so for confused Republicans still planning on voting Republican this [...]
Stephen Colbert announced on Thursday night’s show that yessireebob, he is running for president! Again! That is to say, to bow to tradition, he’s exploring running for president, and spent basically the entire show minus the interview segment learning from his lawyer (and former Federal Election Commission chairman) Trevor Potter about the very uncomplicated exploratory [...]
Anderson Cooper is keeping his job at CNN, at least until Larry King shows up at his studios with a gun and Cooper decides it’s no longer worth it to interview terror-baby activists and hilarious homophobe assistant attorneys general. But he is also getting a daytime talk show, because why not? You know how Anderson [...]
Oh, look, there is Bristol Palin in her square-dancin’ costume. Team Sarah is so happy for her! “Methinks she’s brushing up on her dancing skills in preparation for an Inaugural Ball,” says “Sharron,” who is some sort of medieval witch. Meanwhile, Mercede Johnston FINALLY addresses this major Dancing with the Stars thing, and it’s basically [...]
Here is this new television advertisement from the League of American Voters. Exposition of plot: Only a bureaucrat with a characteristically Big Government binder would tell such a cute hipster she has to send her money to uncool dying Olds instead of spending her paycheck at rock n’ roll performances and blue v-neck t-shirt sales. [...]
Histrionic criminal Tom DeLay is not quite ready to leave you and your television alone already! Since the FCC criminalized his hip gyrations on Dance, Star, Dance, he will now join Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. He will play an “Expert”—for serious—to whom contestants will get to pose questions during their “lifelines.” At least [...]
GUESS WHO IS AUDITIONING FOR CELEBRITY APPRENTICE?? That’s exactly right! Rod Blagojevich. He will compete against Tom DeLay, Meghan McCain and the parents of Balloon Boy in a series of challenges that will determine who personifies the most lucid argument against humanity as a general concept. [People]
OMG IT IS NEWS, TODAY, BUT NOT ABOUT TEA OR BAGS. The disgraced Illinois fucktard Rod Blagojevich would like to appear on a reality show, provided a judge will loosen his travel restrictions. The show is called I Am a Repulsive Human Merkin, Get Me Out of Costa Rica! Should he actually get permission to [...]
Comical old person John “WALNUTS!” McCain appeared on a popular late-night television show on Friday. He was so funny! His jokes are unstoppable. He pretended to fall asleep in Conan’s lap! So funny! Oh and jeez what’s in his mouth now??? Ahhhhhhggg! [Boston Globe/Top of the Ticket]
