turkey
Perry Dropping Out to Play More Scrabble With Huntsman
Rick Perry is finally dropping out of the Republican race Thursday, and will endorse Newt Gingrich because it’s just more fun that way. He will now return in shame to Texas to command-in-chief his Burundi-sized army and obsessively read over all his old emails to Jesus for clues about why Jesus dumped him and maybe [...]
Rick Perry Continues to Think He’s a Scholar of Turkey
In Monday night’s debate, Rick Perry made the claim that Turkey was “ruled by what many would perceive to be Islamic terrorists.” Just as bafflingly, people from as far and wide as actual Turkey and D.C. have taken time out of their busy days Tuesday to condemn Perry’s par-for-the-course proclamation. But he’s been to Turkey, [...]
The Day Sarah Palin Pardoned a Turkey
On a grim November day just two years ago, the recently defeated GOP candidate for vice president pardoned a turkey. And because she had yet to quit the only real job she ever had — governor of Alaska — she didn’t have all these private jets at her service, so she did the “normal for [...]
Wings For Atonement And Beer To Wash It Down
Today through Saturday, September 26: You eat out at participating DC restaurants, and children all over the world, even those in the shittiest countries, will stop eating each other. [Great American Dine-Out]
Palin Cameraman Has Won Many Awards!
Yeah so that guy who filmed Sarah Palin warbling nonsense in front of a parade of beheaded turkeys? Various news reports have said he is “an award-winning chief photographer,” and this is true. This fellow, Scott Jensen, was the National Press Photographers Association’s TV News Photojournalist of the Year — twice! And now we see [...]
Oddly Endurant Sarah Palin/Turkey Slaughter Story Takes New Twist
That funny but completely unimportant thing from last week in which Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey and then gave a teevee interview with a turkey being sliced ‘n’ diced in the background… well the American people are intent to know as much as possible about it! Early reports suggested that Palin was aware before the [...]
New German Leader Looks Like Generic 70s British Character Actor
Oh look it’s that guy from Get Carter, the one who Michael Caine finds at the racetrack wearing a sweet pair of shades! No wait, it’s a lost member of Monty Python who gave up acting for a sweet hippie chick in Haight-Ashbury and was last seen in the Mojave Desert, high on peyote and [...]
WaPo Really Phoning It In Before Thanksgiving
Bush Pardons Turkey, As Per Usual
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