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Tag: turkey

So Did You Hear How A Fake News Story Almost Started A Nuclear War Last Week?

One of these days these fake news stories are going to cause trouble. More trouble. Like, bad trouble.

Obama Saves Alaska! Wonkagenda For Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Obama saves Alaska, Trump's spawn tried steal some cash, and Chris Christie just got screwed! Your Daily News Brief

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Terror! Wonkagenda For December 20, 2016

Trump's electoral college victory might now be what it seems, Newt Gingrich declares war, and Obama Red Phones Valdimir Putin. Your Daily News Brief!
O Hai! I can haz extortion crisis, plz?

Foreigns Already Blackmailing Donald Trump For Favors. WEIRD!

Thank goodness presidents can't have conflicts of interest. Donald Trump said so!

OIL! It’s Got What Plants Crave! Wonkagenda For Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Donald Trump cancels a press conference, Congress crooks face jail time, and Jill Stein is still a embarrassing failure. Your daily news brief!

Giuliani Is A Money-Loving Hypocrite! Yr Wonkagenda: Friday, November 18, 2016

Giuliani has a cash fetish, Donald Trump's crappy cabinet, and more reasons to hate Kanye West! Your daily news brief!
Flynn's the Thanksgiving General: He lobbied for Turkey

Trump’s Likely Pick For National Security Advisor Only A Little Unhinged And Corrupt

He's definitely Flynn, though not necessarily In.
Carpe abyssium

Gaze Long Into The Trump Foreign Policy And It Gazes Back Into You: A Wonksplainer!

Reading Donald Trump's Wednesday interview with the New York Times, we were struck by the thought that he actually hates America. Holds it in contempt, at least, and thinks it's a pathetic thing that might be just salvageable by the super-genius...

Wonkagenda Monday 07/18/2016

Morning, Wonkers! The following stories may or may not grace the pixels of your Wonkette today! Trump and Pence couldn't even make it through the first weekend of their shotgun marriage without arguing like children. Stephen Colbert has inaugurated...
Don't coup me, bro

What The F*ck Is Going On In Turkey? A Wonksplainer!

The F*ck-Tussle in Turkey: No matter how it turned out, it was going to be Obama's fault.
Go see it, it's good!

U.S., Russia Engage In Cold War Cosplay, Tears For Fears Reunion Next

Unlike many fanbois of a certain age, we are not opposed to Hollywood show biz remaking stuff we liked from back when we had a narrow waist and somewhat more/better hair. Lady Ghostbusters, sure! An actual transsexual Dr. Frank-N-Furter, why not? But certain...
Exactly how evolution works

Ohio School ‘Science’ Video Made By Weirdo Islamic Sex-Fiend Creationist. Wonkette Torn.

Schools in Youngstown, Ohio, are teaching 'Intelligent design,' using videos from a nutty Islamic creationist. Maybe Islamophobia and anti-science stupidity will cancel each other out.
Ask your parents

Reader Challenge: What Rhymes With ‘Bag Of Salted Rat Dicks’?

A German TV comic faces prison in Germany after insulting Turkish President Tayyip Erdoğan on the air with a satirical poem that speculated about Erdoğan's love of sex with ungulates, among other things. Jan Böhmermann hosts "Neo Magazin" (kind of a "Daily Show" type deal,...

Make Turkey Meatloaf Because Screw Turkeys Right In Their Gobbly Bits

This is my meatloaf. There are many like it but this one is mine. My meatloaf is my best friend. I must master it as I must master my oven. My meatloaf, without me, is useless. Without my meatloaf,...
OH YEAH BABY EAT IT

Here’s Your Wonkette Christmas Menu, To Put Inside Your Face

Happy Christmas Eve, elves and lady elves, are you in the mood for Wonkette to cram your throatholes with goodness? Then let's get our shopping lists ready so we can prepare the traditional Wonkette Christmas Feast, which has been...
"Come with me if you want to live." Huh? Wrong movie?

Aren’t You A Little Middle-Aged For A Stormtrooper? Your Saturday Nerdout

Happy Saturday, Wonkers! We have a whole passel of nerdstuff for you, so let's not waste any time with a lede and jump right in, because mostly you want to know why Luke Skywalker appears to have gone to...