Tag: turkey

Giuliani Is A Money-Loving Hypocrite! Yr Wonkagenda: Friday, November 18, 2016

Giuliani has a cash fetish, Donald Trump's crappy cabinet, and more reasons to hate Kanye West! Your daily news brief!
Flynn's the Thanksgiving General: He lobbied for Turkey

Trump’s Likely Pick For National Security Advisor Only A Little Unhinged And Corrupt

He's definitely Flynn, though not necessarily In.
Carpe abyssium

Gaze Long Into The Trump Foreign Policy And It Gazes Back Into You: A Wonksplainer!

Reading Donald Trump's Wednesday interview with the New York Times, we were struck by the thought that he actually hates America. Holds it in contempt, at least, and thinks it's a pathetic thing that might be just salvageable by the super-genius...

Wonkagenda Monday 07/18/2016

Morning, Wonkers! The following stories may or may not grace the pixels of your Wonkette today! Trump and Pence couldn't even make it through the first weekend of their shotgun marriage without arguing like children. Stephen Colbert has inaugurated...
Don't coup me, bro

What The F*ck Is Going On In Turkey? A Wonksplainer!

The F*ck-Tussle in Turkey: No matter how it turned out, it was going to be Obama's fault.
Go see it, it's good!

U.S., Russia Engage In Cold War Cosplay, Tears For Fears Reunion Next

Unlike many fanbois of a certain age, we are not opposed to Hollywood show biz remaking stuff we liked from back when we had a narrow waist and somewhat more/better hair. Lady Ghostbusters, sure! An actual transsexual Dr. Frank-N-Furter, why not? But certain...
Exactly how evolution works

Ohio School ‘Science’ Video Made By Weirdo Islamic Sex-Fiend Creationist. Wonkette Torn.

Schools in Youngstown, Ohio, are teaching 'Intelligent design,' using videos from a nutty Islamic creationist. Maybe Islamophobia and anti-science stupidity will cancel each other out.
Ask your parents

Reader Challenge: What Rhymes With ‘Bag Of Salted Rat Dicks’?

A German TV comic faces prison in Germany after insulting Turkish President Tayyip Erdoğan on the air with a satirical poem that speculated about Erdoğan's love of sex with ungulates, among other things. Jan Böhmermann hosts "Neo Magazin" (kind of a "Daily Show" type deal,...

Make Turkey Meatloaf Because Screw Turkeys Right In Their Gobbly Bits

This is my meatloaf. There are many like it but this one is mine. My meatloaf is my best friend. I must master it as I must master my oven. My meatloaf, without me, is useless. Without my meatloaf,...

Here’s Your Wonkette Christmas Menu, To Put Inside Your Face

Happy Christmas Eve, elves and lady elves, are you in the mood for Wonkette to cram your throatholes with goodness? Then let's get our shopping lists ready so we can prepare the traditional Wonkette Christmas Feast, which has been...
"Come with me if you want to live." Huh? Wrong movie?

Aren’t You A Little Middle-Aged For A Stormtrooper? Your Saturday Nerdout

Happy Saturday, Wonkers! We have a whole passel of nerdstuff for you, so let's not waste any time with a lede and jump right in, because mostly you want to know why Luke Skywalker appears to have gone to...

How We Got Even Dumber Watching TV ‘News’ On San Bernardino

Jesus, but this story was an effing mess. Watching the major networks (primarily Fox, MSNBC, and CNN, although at one point we flipped to CBSNews for about 20 minutes because we needed a power nap), yr Wonkette was subjected to so...
What's science got to do with medicine?

The Snake Oil Bulletin: How To Detect The Gay, With Science

Greetings and Happy Thanksgiving to all our sinners, saints, and lawyers in between. This week on the Snake Oil Bulletin we decided to take a break from kid bleachers and their ilk to examine some good old fashioned pseudoscientifical...
Now that's presidential.

Republicans Wish Obama Did Turkey Murder As Good As Sarah Palin

If you're like most Republicans, you're not even HAVING Thanksgiving this year, because you're still upset over how "President" Obama abused his executive powers last year, by pardoning TWO turkeys instead of just one, can you say OUT OF...
A power bottom for your gay love, and also your dollars.

Ted Cruz Challenges Rapscallion ‘President’ Obama To Fight Club Him To Death

OH MY STARS, there is going to be a duel on the White House lawn at high noon, and it is going to be PEW PEW! and big man arms flexing and afterward all the women will be sexed...

Republicans So Awful, Obama Wishes They’d Be More Like Bush

Here is your foreign secret Muslim "president" Barry HUSSEIN Soetoro O'Bama, saying some sounds about how "refugees" are not the same thing as "terrorists." As if! That's exactly what he would say, isn't it? If he didn't really love America and want to keep...