Wonkette

In the ancient land of Turkey, many of our communist American expats have been trying to keep up with the election news on Turkey’s foreign flavor of the Internet. But now that Barack Obama is winning, some conspiracy may be developing that prevents Turkey Internet from accessing this news. Is Hillary in control of the Turkey Internet? Wonkette’s Turkey operative has the full story, after the jump. MORE »

The Washington Post did two interesting things today: Columnist Ruth Marcus ripped Paul Krugman a new one, and a turkey was interviewed. We will focus on the latter. MORE »

George W. Bush pardoned a turkey in the White House Rose Garden today, upholding a very important 60-year tradition. The turkeys are called May and Flower because of a famous boat. From the White House they’ll head to that other bastion of American evil, Mickey’s Country House in Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. They are expected to eat Mickey Mouse at some point in their lives. [CNN]

What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! This past week, Dr. Secretary sat around and offended her underlings, said goodbye to an old friend, got sharp objects thrown at her by Turkish children, and then received a subpoena from mean people who just won’t leave her alone!

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The Turks are so angry that a House committee declared their 1915 massacre of 1.5 million Armenians a genocide, they’re going kill all the Kurds. [NYT]

A House resolution that would recognize the 1915 Armenian Genocide as, well, a genocide is running into some problems: America’s strategic interests! You see, we are best (strategic) buds with the internationally despised Turks, because they let us use an air base. And as we all know, access to air bases trumps symbolic recognition of unthinkable acts of evil every time. MORE »

Even guys who start endless wars everywhere are still vaguely human, at least in the sense of having limbs and feet and such. That’s the charming message of this photo montage from the Associated Press, which shows Neocon All Star Paul Wolfowitz at a mosque in Turkey, where he was meeting with extremists to plan new attacks on America. Best known for grooming his hair with his own saliva, today’s photo shows his personal habits are no better on the other end. MORE »

On this Thanksgiving Eve, we want to remind Americans that all presidents look like twits during the annual Turkey Pardon Photo Op. Here’s Harry Truman, reportedly forced by the National Turkey Federation to start the dumb tradition, thus ensuring that other popular Thanksgiving main courses of the time — ham, roast beast, parsnips, etc. — would fall by the wayside. The Turkey Industry was the Jack Abramoff of 1947.

So many more, after the jump.

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