Today through Saturday, September 26: You eat out at participating DC restaurants, and children all over the world, even those in the shittiest countries, will stop eating each other. [Great American Dine-Out] MORE »

Here is something fun to lighten the mood on the day before the weekend! How to explain this one … It’s sort of like if the Scissor Sisters met Omar Sharif and directed an intergalactic cruise together, with a backup singer wearing cave-lady rags. Cocaine would almost certainly be involved. This might be talking it up a little too much. [YouTube]

Barack Obama went to what he fancy-calls a “Muslim-majority” nation today, Turkey, to hock his “legacy assets” under the guise of “reconciliation” after years of “Overseas Contingency Operations.” In other words he gave a speech to the Turkish Parliament in which he “promoted terrorism against white Christian landowning Americans.” Everyone should thank our President for this devastating Freeper bait. MORE »

Yeah so that guy who filmed Sarah Palin warbling nonsense in front of a parade of beheaded turkeys? Various news reports have said he is “an award-winning chief photographer,” and this is true. This fellow, Scott Jensen, was the National Press Photographers Association’s TV News Photojournalist of the Year — twice! And now we see why. Part of what makes that Palin video so delicious is the fact that the shot really is perfectly set up: we get an unobstructed view of that creepy butcher, plus vivid red turkey blood and of course the harsh unflattering bronze of Sarah Palin’s blush. Scott Jensen is an American hero. [The Digital Journalist]

That funny but completely unimportant thing from last week in which Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey and then gave a teevee interview with a turkey being sliced ‘n’ diced in the background… well the American people are intent to know as much as possible about it! Early reports suggested that Palin was aware before the interview started that the bloodbath would be in the camera shot, and she was cool with that. Over the weekend, however, a Palin spokesperson told the legendary muckrakers at Entertainment Tonight that Palin had no idea about the savagery behind her, and that the in-the-tank cameraman included it in spite of her staff’s orders not to do so. Hmm. It appears that, for the first time ever, a story about Sarah Palin offers fully contradictory recollections from opposing sides. MORE »

Oh look it’s that guy from Get Carter, the one who Michael Caine finds at the racetrack wearing a sweet pair of shades! No wait, it’s a lost member of Monty Python who gave up acting for a sweet hippie chick in Haight-Ashbury and was last seen in the Mojave Desert, high on peyote and wearing a bearskin. No wait again, it’s the first person of Turkish descent to lead a German political party. Huzzah for German Green party chairman Cem Ozdemir, the Barack Obama of Europe! [International Herald Tribune]

In the ancient land of Turkey, many of our communist American expats have been trying to keep up with the election news on Turkey’s foreign flavor of the Internet. But now that Barack Obama is winning, some conspiracy may be developing that prevents Turkey Internet from accessing this news. Is Hillary in control of the Turkey Internet? Wonkette’s Turkey operative has the full story, after the jump. MORE »

The Washington Post did two interesting things today: Columnist Ruth Marcus ripped Paul Krugman a new one, and a turkey was interviewed. We will focus on the latter. MORE »

George W. Bush pardoned a turkey in the White House Rose Garden today, upholding a very important 60-year tradition. The turkeys are called May and Flower because of a famous boat. From the White House they’ll head to that other bastion of American evil, Mickey’s Country House in Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. They are expected to eat Mickey Mouse at some point in their lives. [CNN]

What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! This past week, Dr. Secretary sat around and offended her underlings, said goodbye to an old friend, got sharp objects thrown at her by Turkish children, and then received a subpoena from mean people who just won’t leave her alone!

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