turds

Tampa, Day Something – We had just gotten a small glass of Bulleit (the greatest bourbon) from the very sweet twenty-nothing barkeep, when a lady, who just moments before had gotten what looked to be a lovely pinot grigio, walked over and told us the bar was closed. Oh, okay, certainly! we said as we […]

Swollen imp-turd Neil Cavuto had Rick Perry on the Fox News business slash-fiction channel the other day, and Rick Perry did his cum-mumble about bailing out Wall Street or whatever rhymes he bit off Ron Paul’s eyebrow, and then the swollen imp-turd Neil Cavuto says, “You sound like one of those Occupy Wall Streeters.” And […]

Our CPAC mental sodomy adventures can best be summarized in the above “flipcam” footage, filmed at great personal risk during a Friday night CPAC sexytime party: Newt Gingrich’s latest (?) choose-your-own Homosexual Agenda Adventure paperback was discovered in a tampon receptacle. Meanwhile, we were drunk and just cold pissin’, to help set the mood. The […]

Here’s Fred Thompson, the laziest presidential candidate ever whose entire platform was to chase Mexicans in his red truck and then kick ‘em in the butt, offering for some reason his take on economics, for eight minutes. He raises a number of good points about our economy being founded on bad credit and overconsumption. He […]