Tag Archives: turds

  twits

It Is Not Very Hard To Get Kicked Out Of A Politico Party Apparently

Tampa, Day Something — We had just gotten a small glass of Bulleit (the greatest bourbon) from the very sweet twenty-nothing barkeep, when a lady, who just moments before had gotten what looked to be a lovely pinot grigio, walked over and told us the bar was closed. Oh, okay, certainly! we said as we paused to take a sip. “No the bar is closed now,” she explained, and the dozen people standing with their drinks waited for us to put down our glass and let security escort us to the elevator. Apparently, we got kicked out of a Politico party for tweeting mean things? That is weird, right? Is that weird? Like, don’t put a hashtag in front of people and then expect them not to call you barfy? That is just how hashtags work! Read more on It Is Not Very Hard To Get Kicked Out Of A Politico Party Apparently…
  how to shut rick perry up

Fox News Turd Says Rick Perry Is Just Like Occupy Wall Street Protesters

Swollen imp-turd Neil Cavuto had Rick Perry on the Fox News business slash-fiction channel the other day, and Rick Perry did his cum-mumble about bailing out Wall Street or whatever rhymes he bit off Ron Paul’s eyebrow, and then the swollen imp-turd Neil Cavuto says, “You sound like one of those Occupy Wall Streeters.” And then Rick Perry is speechless, for what seems like hours. Read more on Fox News Turd Says Rick Perry Is Just Like Occupy Wall Street Protesters…
  cincinnati steamers

CPAC Epilogue: Giant Newt Gingrich Turd Found In Bathroom Stall

Our CPAC mental sodomy adventures can best be summarized in the above “flipcam” footage, filmed at great personal risk during a Friday night CPAC sexytime party: Newt Gingrich’s latest (?) choose-your-own Homosexual Agenda Adventure paperback was discovered in a tampon receptacle. Meanwhile, we were drunk and just cold pissin’, to help set the mood. The end/sorry about this. Read more on CPAC Epilogue: Giant Newt Gingrich Turd Found In Bathroom Stall…
  i gets all the munnies

Fred Thompson Hates Everyone

Here’s Fred Thompson, the laziest presidential candidate ever whose entire platform was to chase Mexicans in his red truck and then kick ‘em in the butt, offering for some reason his take on economics, for eight minutes. He raises a number of good points about our economy being founded on bad credit and overconsumption. He does this from his rich mahogany office with a fancy cigar in his mouth. That is all. [RedState] Read more on Fred Thompson Hates Everyone…