Wonkette

What dark human vice was engaged herein, June 12, 2008, among Wonketteers and thine ilk? MORE »

It’s now well after 1 p.m. and we haven’t heard anything from editor Jim Newell, so we have to assume he’s either in jail or rigorously pursuing his vow to “fuck 50 paultards” in the woods somewhere, or maybe in the reflecting pool. All we have are some drunken comments from the Wonkette operatives who bravely showed up at 9:30 a.m. to get drunk and make fun of the Ron Paul March of Liberty Upon Washington, the Scarlet Whore Snake City. MORE »

• GOOD SWEET JESUS GOD: We’ve gotten a few million “HOT NAKED FLAPPERS” e-mails this afternoon, or at least a few dozen, for Paultardpalooza. Among the respondents were an elitist lawyer and a house of six interns! Ha ha, and they all consider Ron Paul to be comical. We will see you at 9:30 a.m. at the Tune Inn, but if things get a little overcrowded, we may move next door to the Hawk ‘n’ Dove, which opens at 10 a.m. If you’re a SLACKER and show up late to find that the Tune Inn is a Ghost Town, hopefully the kindly barkeep will let us post a sign on the door saying something like “FREE CHEESY MUFFINS NEXT DOOR –>.”

We have our plans for Paultardpalooza, finally. We will meet at the gloriously iconic dive bar, the Tune Inn, at 9:30 a.m. tomorrow. We decided on the Tune Inn after calling various Capitol Hill bars and asking, “How early do you start serving alcohol in the morning?” Most places awkwardly tried to hang up, but the Tune Inn gave us a hearty “8 a.m.!” in response, and we appreciated that. MORE IMPORTANT DETAILS AFTER THE JUMP. MORE »

Montana Congressman Denny Rehberg is worth tens of millions of dollars, but because he is drunk most of the time — including a 2004 trip to Kazakhstan where he “had several shots of vodka before he fell off a horse, got trampled on by another and broke at least one rib” — he usually sleeps in his Capitol Hill office. He has absolutely no idea where he is or what he is doing at all times. So what is this $300 in campaign money he dropped for “lodging” at Capitol Hill’s delightful Tune Inn bar, where they don’t have “lodging” in the traditional sense? MORE »

• Heard On The Hill: Rep. Jerry Nadler is that guy who will steal your seat at the Tune Inn. [Roll Call]
• Inside the Beltway: Rep. Dennis Kucinich asks, “Do we think about what hate does to our own hearts? Isn’t it time to put on the invincible armor of human compassion to explore human relations as the science of the human heart, in which we always have the capacity through courage, communication, patience and understanding to turn hate into love, and to beat our swords into plowshares.” [WT]
• Washington Whispers: Fox News’ senior VP John Moody: “Let’s NOT call it the ‘hometown of Jesus’ though many would argue the city’s favorite son turned out pretty well.” [USN&WR]
• Lowdown: Hosts of “The View” are total fucking losers. [NYDN]
• The Scoop: Luke Wilson on psychiatry: “My style is to think, Yeah, I really need to go see somebody, and then not do it, and then get over it and think, You know what? I’m okay! I actually saved some money!” [MSNBC]