Tag: tumblr

Jeff Sessions Is Coming All Over Your Porn! We Mean Coming After!

Sessions said during his confirmation hearing that he's totally open to prosecuting the porns. THANKS TRUMP!
DON'T PUT WORD SALAD IN HER MOUTH.

Sarah Palin Will SUE Black Rapper Lady For Being Mean To Her On Twitter

Dammit, Sarah Palin. Wonkette defended you. We said that in the great 2016 Twitterspace War between the Republican former governor of Alaska and rapper Azealia Banks that FORSOOTH, IT IS NOT COOL BRO to get on Twitter and say Sarah Palin...

Pope Foot Fetish Can’t Stop Washing Dirty Muslim Feets

It's Holy Week! Easter's coming, the chocolate bunnies are doing fertility to each other's bunny-ginas, the Christs are 'bout to BRB, and Pope Nice-Nice AKA Francis is hunkered over washing up some feet again, like a common Jesus of...
Still the dumbest book cover in the history of U.S. America

Silly Goose Allen West Casually Death Threats President Obama For Grabbing His Guns

GRRR ARGH RAGE MAD OBAMA'S TAKIN' YR GUNS BUT NOT IF ALLEN WEST CAN STOP IT OOH AHH ANGRY WORDS GRRRR!!!!!!!ELEVENTY!!!!!! So, failed congressman, disgraced soldier, dirty whore pervert and all around human erectile dysfunction Allen West is mad about a...
Schemers.

Fox News Wondering If Maybe Hillary Knocked Chelsea Up For Political Reasons

Fox News's Eric Bolling squatted in his thinking spot, started making that familiar face somewhere between pleasure and agony, and pinched a Hot Take into his underpants about Hillary Clinton. Do you think maybe that shrill harpy Benghazi lady...

Liberté, Égalité, Ménage À Trois: It’s Your Weekly Top Ten!

Oh HI, Wonkers, it is Sunday! You are probably hungover and stuff, but it's time for us to count down the top ten posts of the week and surprise, a couple of them are about the horrific terrorists attacks that...

Maine GOP Knows Liberal Preacher Running For Mayor Hates Christians

The mayoral election in Lewiston, Maine, has gone from ugly to downright weird, with the state GOP accusing Democratic candidate Ben Chin of being "anti-Christian" -- which will be something of a surprise to Mr. Chin, who serves as...
Hi, I'm Wonkette Baby. I'm just hangin' out below the donations paragraph, LIKE I DO.

Griftin’ Duggars, Teabaggin’ A-Holes And Ted Cruz. Your Weekly Top Ten

Hey Wonkerinos, it's Sunday where we live! Is it Sunday were you live, or do you live in space or something? Don't care, if you are reading this, it's Sunday, which means it's time for us to sexxxily count...

Whiny Republicans And Creeper Fundamentalists. Which Are Ickier? Your Weekly Top Ten

Well hello there, Wonkers. It's Sunday afternoon, time for your weekly top ten list, and it is also NOVEMBER OH MY HOW TIME FLIES! This also means yesterday was Halloween! You might have already seen Official Wonkette Babby, pictured...
Don't you want a t-shirt that looks like this? CLICK INSIDE TO GET IT!

Hillary Clinton And Sid Blumenthal Did Benghazi, For LOLs. Your Weekly Top Ten

Well hello there, Wonkers. It's Sunday afternoon, and we have been sleeping this whole weekend because we spent ALL THURSDAY AND FRIDAY, SO MANY HOURS OMG, chronicling the shitshow that was the Benghazi hearings. Did Hillary come out on...
The signs came down, but the campaign went crazier

Dumb Racists Deploy Wrong Ethnic Stereotype Against Maine Mayoral Candidate

The great thing about racists is that half of them are so stupid they spell their favorite slur with only one "g." Case in point: anonymous signs in Lewiston, Maine, attacking mayoral candidate Ben Chin with the slogan "Don't...

Duggars Edge Out Bristol Palin In ‘Biggest A Idiot’ Contest Once More. Your Weekly Top Ten

HALLOOOOO, WONKERS! It's Sunday afternoon, and that means we are very excited to write the top ten posts of the week at you. Will you be so kind as to click on every single one of them and share...
Jesus needs to fix everybody in this week's Top Ten.

Dumb Duggars, Bristol Palin And Gross Kevin McCarthy. Your Weekly Top Ten!

Oh hi, Wonkers! It's Sunday afternoon, which means we're going to yammer at you for a minute before we go eat bloody marys for brunch. We hope you are having a nice weekend and your favorite sportsball team is playing in a...
Wonkette baby reading the print version of Wonkette

How Many Lies Can Liar Carly Fiorina Tell Before Breakfast? Your Weekly Top Ten.

Oh hi, Wonkers! It is time for your late afternoon Weekly Top Ten list! Have you had a nice weekend? We have! It's been almost 100% sleep and Netflix, like Jesus intended. If you'll take a moment to notice the picture...
WAAAAAAAH!

Let’s Giggle At John Boehner’s Drunky Cry Faces Some More. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Oh hi, Wonkers! Did you miss the BIG BREAKING NEWS about how John Boehner is going away? Yes, it is hilarious, and yes, yr Wonkette understands that his replacement will be far worse, but just in case the end of...
We could have used a picture of Ann Coulter, but nobody wants to see that. Here's Wonkette baby, grinning at you instead.

Internet Shocked To Learn Ann Coulter Still Exists. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Oh look, another weekend almost come and gone. But it's still Sunday afternoon, which means we can still day drink or sleep all day or spend the day crying (don't do that, Wonkers!) or whatever it is we want...